Recently, it almost feels like now, one of my most stubborn clients who likes to challenge every level of my brain when coaching her, asked me this question: “I’m having the hardest time getting my keister out of the house and practicing hello. I feel if I do what you tell me to do – which is saying hello to men – that they are going to think I’m coming onto them. And if they think that I’m coming on to them and they don’t respond, then they are going to talk about me all day long and I am never going to be able to show my face in public again.”
So what did I tell my client, who happens to be a good friend and my favorite client, but who thinks she is a pain in the keister. By the way, I never used the word “keister” before her . . . but there’s something sort of ‘Leave It To Beaver’ about it and I like it.
So what did I tell her to do? I told her to go out and whenever she sees a man, she needs to utter one of these variations of the world hello: hey, what’s up, how you doin’, hello, or hi.
I then explained to her that some men are going to say hello back and some men are not. If she goes out and spends thirty days saying hello to every man that she sees that she is attracted to, though, the end result is going to be far greater than staying home and not talking to anybody.
Here’s another thing too . . . and it’s what is really ironic about my client. If you met her and talked to her, you would find out that she can’t shut up. I can get on the phone with her and we can yap for an hour about nothing, and I am the one who always ends the conversation. The one thing she cannot do is talk to men to whom she is attracted.
If you are a woman who can’t talk to men and who doesn’t know how to smile at men, you are going to spend a lot of time by yourself. You HAVE to learn how to flirt so that men will approach.
The best way to start is to learn that saying hello to another human being makes you more approachable. By forcing yourself to say hello to men all day long, you are going to realize that it is not that painful. By realizing that it’s not that painful, it’s going to start to seem easy. Then you can have fun with it.
By carrying on a conversation, some men will take it further and some men will not. Regardless of whether they do, you are opening up your energy by doing this. You are becoming friendlier. You are also changing your body language. You’re not walking around all uptight anymore.
Stop waiting for men to walk up to you, and start smiling and saying hello. Also, stop worrying about what they’re thinking.
I’m a guy, and every time a woman says hello to me I don’t think she’s coming onto me. I just think she is being friendly. If I am attracted to her, I’ll come onto her and try to get to know her better.
I find that women who have trouble with this concept tend to worry too much about what other people think. The bottom line is this: Stop worrying about what other people think, and start enjoying yourself!
Just remember that men are just giant Scooby Doos on steroids. We’re goofy, we’re hairy, and the only thing missing is the dog collar with an “S” on it.
I promise that if you spend thirty days saying hello to random men wherever you went, that a good percentage of those men will stop and think “Wow, a woman is actually making it easier to talk to her. What a novel approach!”
Stop waiting for men to start the conversation with you. Start making yourself available so you can finally have a social life.
So go out and say hello to every man you’re attracted to for the next thirty days. I guarantee if you do this, you will meet men. I guarantee this so much that I am willing to give away a 200-page course if it doesn’t work for you. I’ll give away thousands of these if it doesn’t work. That’s how sure I am about the power of the hello . . . what’s up . . . and how you doin’.
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Originally published on David Wygant
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