The Two Greatest Workouts of My Life

At 57, I have a renewed interest in working out hard. I was a rower in college and have worked out pretty hard my whole life. But now I am prepared to take it to a new level, age be damned. I have hired a coach and am getting ready for the Boston Marathon this year (you can donate here to save kids in developing country ICUs). I go to Crossfit and this crazy mass happiness craze called November Project (see: Let’s Talk People, Sweat, and Hugs). But during Thanksgiving week I experienced the two best workouts of my entire life.

My 17 year-old son is a world class athlete. Last year he rowed for the U19 national team that competed at CanAmMex. He is going to Brown next fall to row.

Below Cole and U19 teammates celebrating team win in style (Cole is 7th from the right to give you a sense of human scale)

Cole generally thinks working out with his dad, 40 years his elder, is a waste of time. He might consult me on his workouts, or strategy for an erg test or even a race, since I do have some rowing experience. But as far as actually TRAINING together that is off the table.

Until last week. Thanksgiving week is the only week of the year that Cole has no in person practice. He still trains but on his own. On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, he also had school off. He approached me with a proposal which was a pretty standard morning workout for him (he generally trains twice a day):

1. Start at the CRI boathouse and run to Harvard Stadium (2.1 miles)
2. Do two “tours” of the stadium, 37 sections each
3. Run back to the CRI boathouse (2.1 miles)
4. Do a brutal body weight circuit developed by the Penn Lightweight rowing team

I was all in and so excited. Then I realized it was actually the same morning that November Project runs the stadium. And two of my running buddies Carolyn and Lindsey were planning to join NP for the first time. The NP routine is to gather at 6:30 sharp to bounce and get crazy, introduce new people, give out hugs to each other, and announce the workout, then do the workout for 40 minutes and some more community time at the end. So I scheduled the run with Cole from the boathouse so that we would be there for the start of the NP workout with my hundred plus NP family and two newbie running friends. We would be running stairs alongside everyone else for the first 40 minutes, though our two tours would longer than that.

We left the house in Dedham at 5:45 am. The official course for the rowing workout starts at the boathouse bay doors. It was still dark. I was a bit worried that running over would be awkward since I am a 9 minute miler and Cole is a sub 6 minute miler. But we ran loose and easy. I felt strong. As we approached the stadium the sky began to brighten and give us a colorful light show.

Coming into the stadium at dawn always feels to me like something truly epic. Like going into the Roman Coliseum to fight for my very life. Then inside I see all my friends, and the rockstar leader Dana. Lots of love and laughs as I try to stretch out a bit before the double.

While Cole and I debated whether to go shirtless like tough guys or not, my running buddies sneak attacked me which made it all the greater. I hugged them like they were my long lost family and felt so much joy in my heart.

Our glorious and wonderful leader Dana led us in a bounce and call and response. Then asked for newcomers so we as a group could shout out a welcome. Cole raised his hand and go a loud “Welcome Cole!” from the assembled masses. We hugged and Dana announced the workout (dinner date where you rotate running with different people to get to know them, not that it mattered to me and Cole since we had work to do). Then for the first time in my NP lifetime (7 years?), Dana asked me to be the starter to get groups going one at a time spread out so people don’t trample each other. I got all hundred people moving while Cole, Carolyn, and Lindsey were under the stadium with Dana in a beginners meeting where she explains what is going on, liability, suggestions on how to start, etc. Finally it was time to start climbing the double high concrete steps. Just then the sunrise really started to show off.

I felt very comfortable at the start. No rush. This was purely about survival. I had been working on a special running play list that I put on and turned up. Cole started five sections behind me but he quickly caught up.

And then he passed me, talking all kinds of trash and giving me the finger when I took a picture of him as some kind of caveman sign of true love.

Somewhere in the second half of the first tour, Cole took his shirt off (mine had been off since the start) and I knew he was digging in. He finished the first tour 7 sections ahead of me. When he came by he told me he had run 26 minutes for the first 37 sections. My PR is a shade under 30 done with older son Seamus at least 5 years ago. Cole’s PR is 22 minutes. He said he had gone out a bit quick for a steady state day, but still felt strong. When I got to section 1 (NP starts at section 37 and goes to section 1, in this case we were doing that and back again to 37), I was beginning to labor. I turned up my play list and committed myself to digging in. No give up on my one opportunity, perhaps ever, to work out with Cole.

At the November Project, every month or so the leaders give out the “Positivity” Award which was originally an oar handle. The two founders of NP were Northeastern rowers. And they wanted to bring that team ethos to NP.

Dana had gathered the NP family at section 19 right at the end of the bowl, after their 40 minute workout to sing happy birthday to people, make announcements, and on this Wednesday morning give out the “positivity” award. Unbeknownst to me, she had decided to give it to ME!

Apparently, she had the whole stadium shouting my name while I was heads down gutting it out, oblivious. Cole had already gotten to them and commented, “My dad has his earbuds in and is locked in, you are never going to get his attention.” Finally, someone came over and grabbed me and I ran over to where Dana was standing full of joy. It was a truly awesome and unexpected moment.

I was lucky enough to get to take a picture with the amazing Emily Saul who had been the co-leader of NP for 6 years. From day one, I have adored for her unbridled enthusiasm, her pushup routine, and for being generally a bad-ass with a huge heart.

I also got to take a picture with Joev, who is the embodiment of the NP spirit.

And then I went back to section 11, put my music back on, and gritted out the rest of the second tour. Cole was waiting for me at the end. We collected our clothing strewn all over the place, took a couple quick pictures, and headed back to CRI.

I looked down and realized that Cole and I have identical shoes in the identical size (12.5).

The run back to CRI was not as pleasant as the way there. Everyone from NP had congregated at Pavement to get coffee. Dana came out just as we ran by to give us a cheer.

Back at the boathouse, we drank a bunch of water and prepared ourselves for the following.

My only goal was survival. I truly hate burpies. By the end I was on my knees during the burpies. The wall sits were no fun either. But then we were done. A bunch of male and female Brown rowers home for the holiday out in the main CRI erg room, so Cole went off to socialize while I sat against a random wall exhausted. I think he carried me to the car.

Later in the day Cole would do 5×15 minutes on the erg. His heart rate never got out of the steady state range all day.

Here is a video summary of the morning’s events (I use the app Marco Polo to video chat with my running buddies, these videos are taken from my “Polos”):

That was Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving. We all went to Camden, Maine and had Thanksgiving with 37 Matlacks. Then drove down to Westport, MA to the beach Friday night. On Saturday morning, my 26 year-old son Seamus asked me if I wanted to for a run on the beach.

Seamus went to West Point. He received a Rotary Scholarship to study in England for a year. He had previously taken a semester abroad in Tajikistan to study Farsi. He also taught English to school children in the poorest part of India. After returning from England he went through infantry officer training and Ranger School. His first assignment was at the 101st Airborne Rakkasans at Fort Campbell in Kentucky where he was a platoon leader and company XO. He is now training to become a Company Commander in the 4th Infantry unit in Colorado Springs.

Unlike Cole, Seamus and I often work out together. I just don’t get to see him very often. And I do have to work hard to keep up as he goes sub 30 minutes for the 5 mile and 1:48 for the 12 mile ruck with 35 pounds.

This last Friday was the perfect day. I have never seen it so clear. Martha Vineyard was clear as a bell as we started off on Goose Wing beach in Little Compton, Rhode Island. Seamus had an army physical test coming up the following Tuesday. So we started out with 2 minutes of “T” push-ups and 3:30 of plank hold.

Then we made our way down the beach running a little over a mile and then along deserted country roads, having a great conversation about life, and spirituality, and working out. At 3.1 miles, we turned around to retrace our steps. Back at the beach it was so clear we could see a city in the distance crystal clear and for a moment thought it was Boston before realizing that it was impossible and must be New Bedford. Seamus decided to run backwards the last mile while I still struggled to keep up running forwards.

As we finished, we agreed it was the best run we have ever been on together. We have been on a lot. A couple weeks ago we were running along the Chattahoochee River next to Seamus’s apartment in Columbus. We ran in rural India he was teaching there. We ran in Columbus the first time he was at Fort Benning for Ranger School. We ran all over Nashville on a 10 mile scavenger hunt down Broadway, through Vanderbilt, around the Titan’s stadium, and taking a break on the steps of the Parthenon. We also have run many times in Boston. My Harvard Stadium PR (29:42) was with Seamus running from our old house in Brookline a couple miles to the stadium and then doing the stadium in the pitch dark, turning my stopwatch on and off having no idea if it actually went on and no ability to read the time until we got home.

On the beach, decided to go for a polar plunge in the ocean to celebrate the gloriousness of the day together. Seamus is a big “Let’s Get Cold” fan. The water felt amazing. The sunshine after even better.

I am very clear that Cole and Seamus’s accomplishments are their own doing. And God’s. I am just a witness to their development trying to stay present as a father, being a sounding board when they need one. And to be honest their older sister Kerry is the biggest miracle in the family. But I will leave that story for her to tell.

I say all this because a mental health crisis very nearly took me out just under five years ago. The idea of getting a “positivity” award then was prosperous. When I finally opened my eyes again after that period of darkness, I saw the beauty and splendor of my life in living color. I love working out hard with my friends. But working out with my boys an unmerited gift I really can’t explain other than Grace.

If you are a man who has read this and gotten anything out of this my current passion is a male group and speaker series for seekers of all stripes. You can join that group HERE.

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This post was previously published on LINKEDIN.COM and is republished on Medium.

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Photo credit: iStock