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While men come in all shapes and sizes, a few particularly concerning characters have emerged in the last few years. Today we pick out some particularly bad apples and explore the reasons why we are leaving them behind.
Guys Who Refer to Women as “Females”
It sounds weird because it is weird. Even though some men have decided to use this term to demonstrate their gallantry, it is best to refer to people the way that they prefer. And well, I’ve never met anyone who wants to be called “a female.” It is like saying, “I’m not a dog lover — I appreciate canines.” It is fake and it has to go.
Where’s My Hug?” Guys
While they may come off as warm and friendly, these bros often tend towards overly touchy in a way that is just plain creepy. They are superficially jovial and amiable, but underneath there is a feeling of entitlement to your body. If someone wants to hug you, you will get a hug. After all, touching is optional, and it is up to each individual to decide what makes them comfortable.
The Broody Misunderstood “Softboy”
While it is great to be in tune with your emotions, this touchy trope is often taken on by guys with a hidden agenda. If you match this archetype, it is time to do your own emotional labor and stop bringing other people in to save you (especially if your end goal is to sleep with them). You can be sad, but if it is more performative than internal, you have earned “softboy” status. Give up the act and become an adult. Having read Infinite Jest is not a substitute for emotional intelligence.
Rather than simply canceling these dudes altogether, we need to call them on toxic behaviors and push them toward maturity. We may have outgrown these men, but with time, maybe they will surprise us with some growth of their own.
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Photo courtesy iStock.