If you’re looking to find the right person for the winter, you need to start looking in the fall. Here’s why.
Being single has its benefits, but so does being in a relationship. And sometimes the leap from one to the other has something to do with the weather.
But that’s not too much of a surprise; after all, the way we perceive reality is influenced by our environment, our immediate surroundings, changes in temperature, etc.
We are influenced by thousands of tiny variables — so much so that we don’t even see them as influences. But they exist. Now, tell me: You have seasons that you enjoy and ones that you don’t particularly like. Correct?
Depending on where you live, the winter is most likely your least favorite season. It’s colder and darker.
It seems to drag on for a just a bit longer with each passing year. The wintertime is a difficult time for millions of people around the world. If you don’t like the cold, getting up in the morning and forcing yourself outdoors isn’t the easiest of tasks.
Sure, one could argue that we’re uncomfortable simply because we’re spoiled. We’ve grown accustomed to a level of comfort that allows us to ignore reality. And that’s true; it is what it is. But winter sucks no matter how you look at it. If you don’t like the cold, you’re not going to enjoy winter.
While our hatred of winter might be a poor reason to date somebody, it’s as good a reason as any. This isn’t to say that you should just date anyone. But if there were a time to give love a chance, winter is it.
With that being said, you don’t want to wait until winter to start seeing someone new. It takes two to four months to really get to know someone enough to judge your long-term chances.
You want winter to start just as you reach that point. This will allow you to do all those romantic things that the cold, harsh winter allows (ice skating, drinking hot chocolate) — while still giving you enough time to cut things off, if need be, by the time warm weather rolls around.
If you’re thinking that I’m telling you to use someone for your own benefit, you’re right: It is. But if you think dating is anything more than that, you’re confused. We date people to satisfy OUR wants and OUR needs. Once we find the right person, things get less selfish and egocentric.
Until that point, however, we’re just window-shopping. If you’re looking to find the right person for the winter, you need to start looking in the fall.
It’s more difficult to keep your head in the game during the spring and summer.
This is just a fact. It doesn’t matter who you are or how much you love the man or woman you’re dating. When the weather gets warmer, clothes get thinner. People start to look more attractive.
You’ll feel physically attracted to people you don’t connect with emotionally. Why? Because you’re an animal, and animals are programmed to procreate. It’s as simple as that.
This isn’t to say that you’ll stray in the summertime. But there are more temptations. Being single during the spring and summer makes sense. If you happen to meet someone special, that’s great.
Congratulations. But summer isn’t the time to give a relationship a chance just for the sake of it. If you’re bored, there’s plenty ofdistracting fun to be had.
Mild fall weather tends to mellow our moods.
It gets easier to keep it in your pants — partially because you’ve been partying like an animal for three months. But the calm that fall brings tends to calm your mind as well.
You become more goal-oriented and focused on the future. You know that winter is coming and that keeping yourself focused is one of the best ways to make it out alive.
Most people find it easier to commit to a relationship during the fall. As the weather gets colder, finding someone warm to grab feels natural. And this isn’t wrong in any way; it’s natural to feel it. Instead of fighting it, use your instincts to your benefit.
Find someone worth giving a chance, and see if you guys can ride out the winter. If it doesn’t work, no harm done — at least you both enjoyed yourselves through the cold season. If it does work, you’re going to have a great summer ahead of you.
If your relationship survives the winter, you have a chance of getting through the summer.
I will say that people who coordinate their dating schedule around the seasons are too immature and inexperienced to make a relationship work. But life is a game of probability.
If you’re going to make a relationship work, it’s best to begin in the winter, when cuddling is easy. The bond will strengthen, and you’ll see if you can make it through the tempting summer (and the constant visual assault of unveiled body parts).
Will surviving a few seasons guarantee that your relationship makes it? Absolutely not. But it will likely increase your chances. After all, love relies heavily on timing.
Something as simple as weather can affect your mentality and your partner’s. While you can’t time everything in your life the way you’d like, playing your odds to your benefit can’t hurt you.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
By Paul Hudson
Photo credit: Getty Images