Despite the TV shows, music videos, and endless youtube channels, boys are still getting teased for dancing.
It’s summer, and in some parts of the TV universe, that means it’s So You Think You Can Dance season, several weeks of watching young people (if you’re over mid-20-something, sorry, throw in your shoes) do unbelievable things with theirs and other people’s bodies. Anyone who thinks that dancing is for sissies or ______ (insert the insult of the moment here) hasn’t been paying attention. Doesn’t matter if they guys dancing are doing hip-hop or breaking or tap or ballet. The sheer power from even the smallest of them is something to be reckoned with.
Throughout the season, viewers will hear backstories from the competing dancers, and one thing that doesn’t come up much is the subject of bullying from peers. There are always a few guys with families who weren’t supportive early on, fewer that aren’t by show time, but the negative seems to be very downplayed. The more frequent narrative is young men who found themselves or their tribe when they started dancing, or they were hyperactive children whose parents put them in dance to let them move, or they danced because it’s what people around them did.
Is the show trying to get more young men interested in dance by taking the attention off what many of them fear? And is not talking about the reality of what young men are still experiencing a failure to educate, or should just the example off what dance can do speak for itself?
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You don’t hear much about boys involved in non-theatrical dance forms getting harassed. Those stories seem to come largely from guys involved in ballet, modern dance, tap, styles associated with theater and all of the associated stereotypes, regardless of how far from reality those are. I’d guess it still has a lot to do with some of the trapping and qualities of these forms, which also bring judgement on male figure-skaters: tight clothing/costumes, frequent glittery decoration, an emphasis on physique and form, grace in movement, upright posture and carriage, wearing of makeup on stage….how much of this rings the “feminine” bell, and is therefore unacceptable for guys. Some allowances are made if the guy is gay (hello, outdated stereotype!) – but straight? Still by and large not okay.
Take this story of a young man who, from childhood, just wanted to dance, and if not for the overwhelming support of his dads, would never have done so.
There’s nothing in this that speaks about other interests, but fellow students came down on him for doing ballet. This trumped whoever else he might have been as a person. But he stuck it out because he was doing what he loved, and had a support system around him.
That’s what needs to be encouraged, an atmosphere that allows boys to try what they want and express themselves as they like…provided they aren’t damaging others in the process.
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In recent years the spate of dance shows – So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing With the Stars (which let us see traditionally masculine heroes in a new way), Your Country’s Got Talent, America’s Best Dance Crew, Ballet School (ok, I snuck that one in…it’s an incredible Australian drama), even Glee – has given a new generation of aspiring movers a chance to see what dance can do.
Is it too much to hope that their would-be tormentors will watch too and give their peers a chance to move freely, even if they themselves never dance anywhere but behind their bedroom doors?
h/t Upworthy