Our fascination with understanding the difference between men and women has made the answer more complicated than it really is.
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It’s the golden question that have left men puzzled and women completely exasperated for centuries. Why can men still not understand our basic needs?
Books have been written, movies have been made, and eventually society’s fascination with understanding the difference between men and women has made the answer more complicated than it really is. Whilst it’s wise to acknowledge the dissimilarities between the sexes, it doesn’t solve the problem of the lack of communication as to what women actually yearn for from men.
When men understand the difference between what a woman actually needs as opposed to what he thinks she wants, that is when they will start to comprehend the female mind and begin to make progress.
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Most of the time when a new relationship starts the chemistry and excitement of what is unfolding is enough to sustain and grow the love and also unconsciously give us the tools to feed this new flame. However, there usually comes a point, most of the time around the two year mark, when the once burning flame has slowly diminished due to the absence of the fulfilment of bigger needs, effective communication, and unrealistic expectations. And so the cycle of love ends and starts again with someone new. The only problem is that no one has solved the initial issue which essentially is the core of any relationship. So what do women want exactly and why is it so darn hard for men worldwide to figure it out?
Let’s start by setting something straight—let’s replace the word ‘want’ with the word ‘need.’ The difference between these two words is that one is essential to building a healthy relationship and the other is just all the added bonuses we would like. When men understand the difference between what a woman actually needs as opposed to what he thinks she wants, that is when they will start to comprehend the female mind and begin to make progress.
We can break it down into 7 simple points and solve the old aged mystery:
1: We need to be a priority
This doesn’t mean that you have to put us on a pedestal, but rather making the woman in your life at the top of your list shows that you value and appreciated her and your relationship. Yes there will be times when work, friends, sport and life can sometimes take more of your attention, but at the end of the day if you do not prioritize your relationship and the woman you love, you will lose her. Women need time and attention—not to feel completed but to feel loved and respected. It is a normal human condition and when you choose to put her first you are communicating to her that you esteem her before all other things.
2: We need to be heard
OK so we all know that women talk about 13 thousand more words a day then men, but this doesn’t mean that what we have to say is less worthy. When we want to talk about something whether it be trivial or serious, we need to know that you are actually listening to us and what we have to say. Your attentive ear essentially communicates to us that you care about what we are feeling and expressing. Even if you don’t respond, it’s the act of listening which captures our heart and makes us feel important and respected.
3: We need to feel safe
This isn’t so much about your big muscles and ninja skills but rather the feeling of being protected emotionally as well as physically. We need to know that our relationship a man can act as a safe haven, that we are free from infidelity, insecurity, abuse, and judgement. By loving us unconditionally and taking responsibility for your role as a man and partner you give us a sense of security and safety that no amount of body guards could ever give us.
4: We need to feel appreciated and valued
When a woman feels appreciated and valued she becomes an unstoppable force of strength, grace, and love. Your words and actions are what have the power to transform your relationship into the dream or nightmare you want it to be. Simple acts of acknowledging what she does or simply who she is will make her feel loved and empowered to love you even more. Positive equals positive guys—let go of the ego and score keeping and start giving her some attention and praise.
5: We need to be romanced
This isn’t about showering our bed in rose petals or lavishing out your hard earned cash on diamonds—although we do appreciate those gestures too. Romance for us is all about putting thought into an action. Whether it’s picking up her favourite chocolate , writing a little love letter, or saying something kind to us in the morning , it all counts. It really is that simple guys , we aren’t after your wallet or unrealistic acts of chivalry , we want to know we are in your thoughts and that you want to woo us because you don’t want to lose us.
6: We need to feel beautiful
You’ve seen all the pressure the media puts on women and most of you know our general inclination to compare ourselves to others and tear ourselves to pieces. So this is where we need you to step in and remind us of our inner and outer beauty with either some simple words, a look, a smile, or an act. When a woman feels beautiful to her man, she feels like she is the most beautiful woman in the world and that is a gift that you can give her in such easy and effortless ways.
7: We need you to talk to us
Finally the last point, although it might not be your favorite, it’s time men also take responsibility for communicating. Talking about your feelings and thoughts isn’t being weak and feminine but rather it shows you want to improve your relationship and develop it into something healthy and progressive. There is strength that comes with being vulnerable to the right person. Women aren’t mind readers, and if you expect us to just know what the issue is and give you space every time there is a problem, then you are guaranteeing the demise of your relationship. Communicating to us isn’t about having to talk as in depth or as much as women do, but rather just giving us an idea of what is in your head and letting us listen.
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Photo: Getty Images
” 7: We need you to talk to us Finally the last point, although it might not be your favorite, it’s time men also take responsibility for communicating. Talking about your feelings and thoughts isn’t being weak and feminine but rather it shows you want to improve your relationship and develop it into something healthy and progressive. There is strength that comes with being vulnerable to the right person. Women aren’t mind readers, and if you expect us to just know what the issue is and give you space every time there is a problem, then you are guaranteeing the… Read more »
Hi FlyingKal , I totally agree with you , I think women also need to practice the art of saying less and listening more . It’s a two way street and when both partners communicate and listen in such a way that is respectful and constructive , that’s when progress is made. I don’t believe women should ever put their husbands down , even in jest. There is power in what we speak ,and men have as much a right to feel the way they want as women do . And I think a woman should NEVER publicly humiliate a… Read more »
Please don’t think me bitter, because my life is WAY BETTER than it’s ever been before at this time…after ridding my life of females, peacefully. So why would I even care what a female wants or even expects of me? At all? The 95% + majority of women have made it LOUD and CLEAR just how unnecessary ALL men are to society, happiness and even, on occasion, to reality. But really, that’s fine with me. I can’t get mad about an opinion. But that doesn’t mean that I have to do backflips all manner of olmypic level gymnastics and try… Read more »
1. Why in the world would you read an article titled “The Truth About What Women Really Want From Men” when you made it clear that you don’t care about women? 2. 95% + majority of women…. Oh excellent statistic. Sounds real solid. 3. Why are you even on GMP? What we really need are men who honestly care about being good men, who care about talking about serious issues and men who stop pretending to themselves that everything that is wrong in the world is women’s fault. Sure, a good Woman Project would be nice. But what is preventing… Read more »
You’re right, Erin.
Men aren’t really unneccessary to society and happiness, as long as they first and foremost can be made to provide for the needs and wants of women.
Thank you for reiterating his point.
Hi everyone! Erin, I agree with your points . Tom I think that perhaps you have either dated the wrong type of women over and over again or perhaps are self sabotaging your relationships with some bad habits…I’m sure you have a lot to offer women and TGMP is all about trying to create a conversation that needs to happen between men and women. Women aren’t asking for backflips , they are asking for the basics…as I’m sure men are too . This isn’t a battles of the sexes it’s about communicating what both sexes need in order for each… Read more »
The jig is up. This femi-narcisissm just isn’t getting in under the radar anymore. Becoming conscious is a sword that swings both ways. I suggest Lisa Hickey start asking herself the hard question before publishing anything on the male/femaile conundrum: Does this promote and sn egalitarian world view – or not? Because even as GMP is reporting – apparently right now men are running, not walking, away in droves. And then when science published research confirming that when men DO share their vulnerabilities looking for succor from their beloved women experience a great dark feminine rage because the men are… Read more »
We need a good women project. I find it funny that over half the articles out there written about how to be a man are written by women. I hear women say man up. What about women up? What does it mean to be a women as opposed to a girl? There has to be more to being a women then a mature female body, right? I feel that I have to work my ass off in a dangerous field to provide for my family and that is taken for granted. It is expected of me. What is expected of… Read more »
Hi Colby , My site http://www.thedatingdirectory.co is a site for women if you want to check it out . I think the problem starts with either the man or the woman feeling like they are owed something by the other …which starts a whole heap of problems. Men want to be understood as do women , they want to be valued and appreciated just like women do . By having women write articles for men it helps to try and start the conversation ….the problem is guys seem to take articles as an offense or attack on their manhood. My… Read more »
Ive read this article and note no mention at all if what women can offer men or ways women can help relationships to work. In fact it’s a list of 7 requirements implying they must all be fulfilled. Another example of the many subtly-misandrist ‘self-help’articles with a self-imposed sense of quiet superiority – chiding men for their 7+ potential inadequacies. This is getting very tiresome – I suggest the author and her supporters consider freezing their eggs and watching the first 2 minutes of the film Idiocracy available on YouTube . To my fellow man – I suggest paying a… Read more »
Hi Humbleman, Sorry that you feel this way , but TGMP is an site that requires me to write for a male audience. If you want to know how I educate women on how to treat their man like a king and what women need to do then head to my site http://www.thedatingdirectory.co as I assure I think women need to take just as much responsibility for the relationship as men do. This article wasn’t about pointing out a man’s fault or attacking their sex but rather communicating what women need so that both partners can have a healthy and… Read more »
This are some good tips to take note. I hope the men will read this article 😀
Thanks Thea! Feel free to check out my site/blog : http://www.thedatingdirectory.co 🙂
Falling on deaf ears, and although this may come across as anger or resentment toward women, it is just the opposite, helping them to understand not what men will, or will not do, but why. When Betty Friedan wrote her book, The feminine Mystique, she mentioned that while women are being suffocated by both social expectations and the expectations of men, the male editors of women’s magazines were telling them to have hubby buy them a new stove or dishwasher. In short, do more for hubby, and just “suck it up” Same, same here. There is a men’s movement going,… Read more »
It’s an intengender war… & they’re winning.
It’s time to buckle up troops:)
The same things a man could in theory expect from his partner but if he did he’d be called controlling and abusive. That is one of the many issues with this article and others like it. I can’t stand articles like this because they put all the responsibility of maintaining a relationship on the guy. I could go through and pick apart all the double standards this article reinforces but they are pretty obvious to any one who pays attention. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do the things stated here but the women should also do the same things. If… Read more »
George Carlin said. “no one seems to listen. no one seems to care” Ring a bell?
Our sex is being exploited & women are the one’s complaining.
IT’S A MADHOUSE!
Hi Issac , Sorry that you feel this article is one sided . My website http://www.thedatingdirectory.co is written for woman on which I give them all the advice they need on how to be a better partner , wife and friend for their man . I write about the importance of romancing and respecting your man as well as taking responsibility for their half of the relationship . The thing is for TGMP I’m required to write for a male audience and I wanted to help them by giving them an insight into the female heart and mind . This… Read more »