
Breakups almost always come with pain, confusion, and more than a little resentment.
When someone you care about walks away, it’s completely normal to wish they understood what they’ve lost.
Finding peace and moving on can be challenging until your ex possibly feels even a small part of the emotions you’re going through.
And the best way to achieve this small revenge is to make them feel sorry they left.
If you’re hoping to make your ex regret leaving you, the key isn’t begging, stalking, or falling apart.
It’s using a few well-thought-out strategies to reclaim your power — and maybe spark a little regret (or better, an apology) along the way.
There are a few psychological tricks that can help you do just that.
Here are 5 psychological tricks to make your ex regret losing you:
1. Completely cut off contact with your ex
Many heartbroken people make the common mistake of staying in touch with an ex after a breakup.
But why would anyone continue communicating with a person who abandoned them in the first place?
Essentially, there are two explanations: they had an amicable breakup, or they’re still not over their ex.
The second scenario is probably more common among couples who were together for an extended period.
Why is this such a big deal?
When you maintain contact with a romantic partner who dumped you, they know you’re still on the hook.
And when something is easy to get, it loses its attractiveness almost entirely.
One research study shows that keeping offline contact with an ex (or even tracking them online, like on Facebook) significantly disrupts emotional recovery and blocks personal growth.
So when you maintain contact with someone who dumped you, you’re basically keeping them emotionally in power.
And when something is too easy to get, it loses its allure.
2. Stay visible, but unavailable
So, if you want to make your ex regret dumping you or realize they made a mistake, stop wearing your heart on your sleeve.
Otherwise, you risk being a backup plan for them after another romantic failure, and that’s not your ultimate goal.
The less contact you have with your ex right after the split, the better. It applies to phone calls, face-to-face meetings, and texting.
But there is one critical nuance — your former partner will forget you faster if you go under the radar.
Instead, you need them to know about the changes in your life, new activities, and friends.
Therefore, do not unfriend them on social media, as that is the fastest way to spread the news.
3. Level up your appearance
Be honest about why you think your ex left you. Maybe you’ve stopped exercising, or you’re wearing pajamas everywhere.
Only you know what attracted your partner and why they were fascinated with you in the past.
Essentially, any changes for the worse can lead to a breakup. Your partner may say something like, “I don’t recognize you anymore,” or “You’re not the same person I used to date.”
The most common reasons for a breakup are:
- Development of annoying or harmful habits
- Gaining or losing weight
- Flirting with others
- Become inattentive or unsupportive
- Lies and cheating
To bring them back, you can correct specific shortcomings, whether it concerns appearance or behavior (e.g., smoking).
For example, if you’re a guy and want to make a girl regret losing you, the popular solution is to improve your looks by grooming and working out. Likewise, women can upgrade their appearance with haircuts, new clothing, and even tattoos.
A change for the better is not only the best way to make your ex want to get back together, but it will also improve your self-esteem and possibly your health.
4. Stay cool, calm, and collected (even if you don’t feel like you are)
The storm of emotions that arises after a breakup can affect your behavior for a long time.
Your task is not to give in.
Many people stalk their exes after the breakup.
They write them angry messages and emails, call them in the middle of the night, and throw a fit, which is ugly behavior.
If your end goal is to release negative emotions, perhaps this option will bring you relief.
But it is unlikely that any person will feel attracted to someone who cannot control their behavior and is clearly insecure.
So what should you do, then?
7. Build a new (and fun) social life
Another way to make your ex regret letting you go is to find new acquaintances and friends.
But at the same time, don’t cut ties with existing friends unless they are toxic.
The older a person is, the more difficult it is for them to let someone into their personal space.
If you want to expand your social circle, you can start with your work colleagues.
For instance, try reducing the distance with a few nice people from your office and suggest going out for coffee after a working day. If appropriate, take a few photos and post them on social media.
Research involving over 3,700 breakups revealed that individuals who felt happy with their social networks — by nurturing existing relationships and forming new friendships — tended to recover faster and experienced less emotional distress.
In other words, building a solid social life helps you heal faster, gain confidence, and inevitably look thoroughly moved-on.
But make sure that your companion doesn’t feel pressure on your part. You should be sincere when forming new friendships and not do it merely to show your ex how remarkably you spend time without them.
New friends will bring refreshing experiences and help shift the focus from past relationships to exciting moments of the present.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
Love relationships? We promise to have a good one with your inbox.
Subcribe to get 3x weekly dating and relationship advice.
Did you know? We have 8 publications on Medium. Join us there!
***
–
Photo credit: Katy Ward On Unsplash