What I Learned During a Plumbing Project With My Father

I need to start this off by saying that I am not a handy man. I have never been good with taking things apart and putting them back together again. I even have challenges with my Ikea furniture (but then again, who doesn’t?).

That also means that I am not good with car maintenance, plumbing, or electrical wiring. That’s not to say that I will never be good at these things, it just means that I haven’t mastered the skill yet.

And while I believe in the idea of constant improvement, a few weeks ago I learned that I still have a lot to learn and that even what I thought I knew was the right way to go about things was not a universal truth.

When my father asked me to help him with a plumbing project, I knew that it would be a challenge. He said it would only take an hour, but I knew from experience that this would be a daylong project.

The task was simple enough: unscrew a large bolt that was connecting the faucet to the rest of the sink. The only problem was: we didn’t have the right tools and the space was incredibly small and awkward to make any kind of substantial improvement towards getting the bolt off.

After an hour of switching back and forth and using all the tools in our kit, and making little leeway, we both decided to go to a hardware store and buy two new tools that were supposed to help us.

When we arrived back home we still had trouble with the new tools. It seemed like a fruitless task, and I was ready to give up. I told my dad that we should do this another day, or hire someone who could do it better. But my dad was determined to get it done, and eventually he got the bolt off. We had more to do, but that was it for the day, we decided that one success was enough.

I was surprised that neither of us got frustrated towards each other or argued back and forth about what was best. I learned that I have improved my relations with my parents by doing this and that even if someone is frustrated towards a project doesn’t mean you need to be frustrated towards the person you’re working with.

Most importantly, I learned that I shouldn’t equate being stubborn with being determined, because many times throughout our lives we are required to have determination.

Sometimes it’s good to quit while you’re ahead, and other times it’s good to say “not yet” and keep moving forward.

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