Guess what is the biggest day to sign up on Ashley Madison?
The Day After’s.
So I posted an ad looking for a lover on February 15th.
I already know what’s going to happen at home. I don’t need a crystal ball. It’s been like this for years. Perfunctory card in a red or pink envelope signed with my husband’s name — no additional sentiment. A dry peck on the lips (maybe) or a slight hug if I’m lucky (not usually).
Dinner at home because eating out on Valentine’s Day is a “madhouse and completely overpriced and not worth it.”
No flowers. Those are also “ridiculous.” “No one needs roses,” he said. “Especially on a commercialized Hallmark holiday.”
Candies, too. “I thought you were dieting.” Jewelry was out of the question. “You buy everything you want. You don’t need anything.”
A “thank you, honey,” and sleeping a mile apart as usual.
What I don’t know is you.
That’s what I’m looking for.
A man who’s done this before. Doesn’t need coaching. Long term preferably. No flakiness and no guilt. Darker hair preferred. Dominant yet caring is ideal. My age. Not interested in long-distance options.
Me: 50, petite, red hair, fair skin, sexy and subversive.
Make this Valentine’s Day different.
. . .
Some responses I received:
I need you for Xmas too.
Let’s get carried away. Sounds perfect. ALL in.
I’m looking for that special connection. I miss those butterflies when talking to someone you’re into, checking your phone at work, flirting, and sharing your day. Please tell me more about yourself.
You won’t last long. You’re so interesting.
Can I be your sugar baby?
Hi, how are you? I’m a 29-year-old gentleman, and I’d like to get to know you.
Your post hit far too close to home. It was almost haunting.
Came across your ad and would like to see where this goes if you are interested & still looking. I hope I haven’t run out of luck & still might have a chance.
I stumbled across your post, and I can relate. Your description of your scenario piqued my interest. Your description of yourself even more so.
Did you find what you were looking for?
Hi! Your story sounds very much like mine, and I would love to find someone like you to share erotic, intense, guilt-free pleasures.
Loved your ad.
Hi, I can relate to your v-day post…are you still looking to meet someone?
Loved your ad, the best I’ve ever read.
Awww, I hope you find someone.
Let’s do this.
I realize the chances this even gets read is slim, but I figured what the heck.
I’m really interested.
I would like to get to know you.
I’m in the same boat also; sanity is fading because I don’t get nearly enough to satiate my needs.
Let’s make this Valentine’s neither of us will ever forget. Let’s get a room and fuck for a few hours.
. . .
The sheer number of responses blew me away. Even months later, I still received messages.
“I know I’m late…”
“Are you still looking?”
“I’d like a shot.”
This ad didn’t pan out the way I wanted. I didn’t find the right guy.
Another Valentine’s Day, the same as all of them before. I didn’t get the lover I wanted in February. Yet, I kept looking, hoping to find what was missing.
This post was previously published on Medium.
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