Why I Date Good Looking Men

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You’ve heard of the saying, “the eyes are like windows to your soul.” I think that a kind soul permeates onto one’s face…which in turn increases one’s attractiveness. Don’t believe me? There are studies about it. And I’ll share how you can be a good (more attractive) looking man too.

A man with a big heart has always been one of the most attractive traits I look for. Of course upon first impressions (maybe by the fifth meeting I can), I cannot dig open a man’s heart and inspect it. Luckily, I don’t have to do that because studies have shown that a way to be more attractive is kindness. An article written a few years ago on a research showed that kindness will make you more attractive.

In the article, it mentions, “one’s perception of an individual’s positive personality traits, like kindness or hard work, improved views of their physical attractiveness, while traits like laziness did the opposite.” It’s always a good sight to see someone taking an action that shows how kind they are. It makes him more attractive because our brains automatically are wired to think, “oh that is humbling because it’s a lovely sight as you just don’t often see that.”
When a man has a gentle heart, pure thoughts, I truly believe it shows on his face. Have you ever seen a man playing with a baby, being cute making baby noises or treating their dogs like their own children and laughing wholeheartedly? Those types of men are appealing.

“In a society where we are judged by a cover, it doesn’t hurt to apply the rules of kindness to increase one’s attractiveness because for better or worse, the bottom line is that research shows beauty matters; it pervades society and affects how we choose loved ones. Thus, striving to appear attractive may not be such a vain endeavor after all. This isn’t to say plastic surgery is necessarily the answer. Instead, lead a healthy lifestyle that will in turn make you a happier person.”

My girlfriends used to say I had a type. They saw a pattern to the type of guys I liked. And as I looked closer, they were right. Some obvious patterns were a great smile, warm friendly eyes, and oddly a certain distinguishing hair style. Maybe kindness is also tied to having a great head of hair? To give you a visual of what that type looked like, imagine, a wholesome, happy, gentle, warm face with an incredible smile. That is my type. I think all of these attributes stem from one simple core, kindness.. Kindness seeping through a man’s eyes, adding a layer of friendliness and a smile that is inviting is what I deem good looking.
That old misconception that ‘nice guys always finish last’. That is not true. “Research shows that for both men and women, being nice markedly increases the appeal of a potential romantic partner. In fact, evolution may have dictated it to be so.” Being kind can get you more dates. Why are women often times drawn to men playing with their dogs or being attentive to children or doing charitable work? Basically when women see vulnerability, all these things are tied to attributes of a softness and these things tie back to a kind giving heart. Seeing a nurturing side to a man really does make him more attractive. We associate that with a man who’s not afraid to commit, be responsible, be loving, be a provider. And all of these are traits of what I am, along with other women are seeking.

Further research also shows from an article done by Yan Zhang of Huazhong University in China further talks of this notion, “what is good is beautiful”, that positive personality can increase perceptions of facial attractiveness. I mean, where do you think that phrase RBF, resting bitch face comes from?

So you want to be more attractive looking?

Try smiling, wholeheartedly. A positive personality can increase perceptions of facial attractiveness.
Laugh at yourself. Someone who has the ability to shrug things off and look at the silver lining and is able to laugh at one’s mistakes or find simple humor in his every day routine is bound to release tension in the face.
Find the simple things in life and be grateful for them. Someone who is grateful doesn’t carry around a sour face.
And play with dogs and babies…they make you happy and that is enough of a reason to.

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Previously published on permission.

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