Why Would You Take Back Your Cheating Ex?

If a friend told you they were taking back with a toxic ex, you’d suggest they not do it. You would stew with your reservations if they still went ahead with getting back together.

Yet, in our personal lives, we are like Patrick from SpongeBob. Intelligent giving advice and emotionally blind about our choices.

It’s not a fact you’re comfortable admitting.

I see people online talking about Khloe’s choice to have another baby with Tristan. It’s all negative. But one responder says she understands Khloe’s choice. Why? Her mom also wanted all the siblings to have the same dad.

A child might be involved (or not) in your reasoning, but you return to your ex for more than their sweet words.

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Tired of fighting

“Women adjust their lives for family more than men.” — source.

The quote referred to women’s willingness to give up their careers for family life. Yet, this is true in other areas.

Ladies will sacrifice their pride to avoid single relationship statuses. Remember the song “All I Have” that Jennifer Lopez created with LL Cool J?

I know some women tire of online dating games and aunties asking about finding a partner. Manifestation works. But for women who are still looking and fighting for what they deserve, sometimes stick with the guy they know.

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Blurred perspective

Women have different complexes which cause low self-esteem.

“I have to work for love.”
“I was asking for too much and pushed him into the arms of another woman.”
“It’s my fault. I’ve been too busy to fulfill his sexual desires.”

If you blame yourself, you see your actions as the cheater’s motivation. You won’t consider the person’s decision to have an affair.

I would not say it’s even about realizing your worth. Instead, it’s about how you think about loyalty, faithful, and communication. It’s not as laborious as you think.

The recovery from stepping out is as intense as or worse than trying to fix things before they soured. Work on your feelings about yourself and learn your desired role in a relationship to create an environment for loyalty and open communication.

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

It’s not all dark clouds.

Good reasons exist even in this non-ideal situation.

What if the man changed? He went to therapy, has a new perspective on love, and acts accordingly. If repeat offenders with no changed actions get forgiven, I know we can pardon a reformed partner.

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You don’t know peace.

Every heard misery love company? Well, trauma provides familiarity. That’s my take. You know a healthy relationship’s definition, yet you think it is boring.

“Where are the passionate fights? The tears, drama, and feelings of betrayal? Why else would a ma give you expensive gifts if not to apologize for infidelity?”

Will you accept peace? If you won’t, yearning for an old flame is natural. You have grown used to being a victim. You need a narrative to play the woman you assume yourself to be.

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Nothing new

Since the person has been gone, you have not met the love of your life. You think all there is available for you is the person you already know.

It’s scary seeing everyone posting the womanhood milestones you want to achieve, too. Thus, you choose the man and hope no one comes to you for a “woman to woman” chat.

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What needs mention?

When you take back a cheating partner, most times, it is because you have not changed. Your values, perspective, and needs from a relationship have not risen.

I’d ask you to change one of the above about your mindset and see if you still want your ex-partner back.

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Thank you for reading this post.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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