Question: My husband and I are trying to ante up of our sex life. But that old dog only knows so many tricks, boredom is setting in fast. Any tips you recommend for keeping it fresh?
Answer: First I’m thrilled to hear that you’re committed to enhancing your sex life! It’s quite common to fall into ruts of predictability and conclusion with a partner. Part of the freshness has to do with not knowing, and being in the mystery, and curiosity getting to know each other’s bodies, and the honeymoon hormones that happen when we first meet somebody.
While this might sound foolish, what if you took on the mindset, you pretended that you didn’t know your husband, that you never touched his body before, that you weren’t sure what it was that turned him on, that you wanted to teach him what turned you on?
I say this because our point of view creates our reality and if your point of view is that he’s an old dog, that’s honestly quite judgmental 😉 and can’t feel very good to him…yes? Even if you don’t ‘say’ it… if you ‘feel it’ it certainly won’t inspire him to show up and claim you, yes?
Every act creates a reaction, every cause creates an effect. I wonder how you could shift to your point of view into discovering something new bout YOU first… perhaps a little more unique or a little risqué or another flavor of your feminine creature that would awaken something in him that still lies dormant? Yes, I’m asking you to go first… yet it will be FUN for you to expand your sacred sexual feminine flavors AND he might be enlivened by ‘who’ comes to bed!
There are so many videos and educational products out there, too. One of my favorite is found at www.AllanaPratt.com/steamy-sex which I think is really tastefully done, educational and super hot.
I would slow things down and have a night of pleasure just for you and the next night be a night of pleasure just for him… Make it more fun with sexy rules like having to be blindfolded or having to have the lights on making eye contact… Anything to create freshness and newness and presence.
Presence really is the key. Are you breathing? Are you connecting to your own pleasure? Are you connecting to your love for your partner? Are you telling the truth? Are you asking for what you desire? Do you know what you desire?
Yes, a lot of our sex life is what we’re doing but more importantly it’s who were being. That’s certainly my department. If you haven’t yet, please download my report for women at www.AllanaPratt.com called “Vulnerability is the New Sexy” because although you were making a joke about him being an old dog can learn new tricks, there is an edge of (valid) frustration there as opposed to the vulnerability required to really open your heart and let him know how much you ache to be claimed by him deeply, yes?
And perhaps this is made your husband timid over time to show up and claim you in which case my complementary report on my men’s site, www.GetHerToSayYes.com called “How to be a Noble Badass” would be perfect for him to get out of his head and into his heart, his balls and be connected to his masculine grandeur.
And lastly, couples counseling is one of the smartest, most efficient, delicious, fun vulnerable and heartfelt experiences a married couple can go through… I recommend you value your marriage and gift yourself with a series of 6 sessions to ensure 2017 is the best year yet both IN and Out of the bedroom… that only gets better because you have the inner and outer tools to take it there. You can apply for a complementary strategy session at www.allanapratt.com/connect.
Plants need watering and sunshine and fertilizer and pruning… yes? They just don’t thrive on their own without attention, care and support.
Relationships are no different 🙂 I know you know that which is why you reached out. Thank you! I look forward to hearing from you.
Great love, Allana xox
p.s. Gentlemen…End the Fear of Rejection.
Enjoy your “How To Be A Noble Badass” Complementary Training at www.GetHerToSayYes.com
Ladies…Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now.
Enjoy your “Vulnerability is the New Sexy” Complementary Training at www.AllanaPratt.com