You Cannot Ask for a Great Man if You Are Not a Great Woman

Standards are essential to find a good partner and as Women, we need to be as picky as we can about which type of man we are looking for as a partner.

I agree women should find someone who is financially and emotionally stable, and protective, someone who makes them happy and celebrates who they are.

That being said, I firmly believe in order to find a good partner you need to be a good partner. We had spread this false entitlement that man should give us everything while not receiving anything in return.

That behavior is making men feel used and unappreciated which leads to them becoming what we are constantly complaining now on nowadays ‘’men who act like the woman in their relationship’’.

We need to hold ourselves accountable that maybe sometimes we ask for too much when we are not delivering.

It’s not sexism for women to be in the kitchen.

Men love it when a woman cooks for them and that doesn’t make us less worthy, on the contrary, it makes us more attractive.

In the same way, we demand that our man should be handy at the house, they should be allowed to want a woman who knows how to cook. It is totally fine if you don’t like cooking or at some point, you prefer your man to do it, but don’t act like is a disgrace to do this type of thing.

I understand the issue comes when a man tries to make it an obligation or that makes it seem like that’s the only thing we are good for, but it’s not always like that sometimes is just our same prejudice that prevents us from doing better.

If you have a man who fulfills your standards and treats you the way you deserve, what’s preventing you from making his favorite meal? That doesn’t make you his kitchen lady or his mom, on the contrary, it’s actually a way to express love.

I saw women lose great men just because they refuse to play the role they are supposed to in a relationship, if you are looking for a man in his masculine energy you certainly need to be in your feminine and not only in the way that benefits you.

Compliments are as important; stop taking things for granted.

Men should be providers but not all of them are, and if you have one that is you shouldn’t take it for granted. Women love to say ‘’ that’s his job as a man’’ or ‘’it’s the bare minimum’’ surely it is but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be grateful for it.

Compliments are important and yet they are underrated. We forget the power words have.

If you look at it from another perspective, let’s say you are getting ready to go out with your man, looking stunning you already know you look stunning but if your man compliments you makes you feel even better, not because you need it validation but because someone you care about is also noticing you.

The same thing happens with men, if your man pays for a date, yes, you did put the effort into the makeup, the hair, the outfit, and look stunning that’s amazing, but after dinner, you could also say ‘’thank you for dinner, I enjoy our time together’’ I guarantee it makes all the difference.

Let him know he’s doing a great job taking care of you, and that you value the way he shows up for you, that will show him that he’s been seeing and his effort has been appreciated.

Also, that will give him a boost of confidence, and will show up more knowing his been evaluated for it.

He’s a man, not your child.

Man wants to feel like a man, if you continuously spend all the time micromanaging your partner, telling them with whom they are allowed to go out, which clothes they should wear, and how they need to manage situations at their job, you will end up been seeing like their mother.

Nether you are taking away his power as a man, and then wondering why he expects you to do everything. It’s important for us to learn how to give our opinion without imposing, that doesn’t mean you need to make yourself small, it just means to be smarter in the way you are dealing with things.

Most successful men had a woman behind them backing their ideas and thoughts, and they were recognized for it, they learned how to get through their heads without making feel them small and that’s why their opinions as women matter to them.

Almost every couple likes to say that the man is the one in charge but deep down is probably the woman, and trust me man knows it and acknowledge it, they just like to believe they are the head of the house and I think that’s amazing when is a man who treats you like you deserve, I see no issue on letting him think he is on charge.

Let him breathe; he doesn’t have to be with you every minute of the day

Man need their space and woman do too, he’s not your purse for you to take him everywhere. Stop suffocating them, they have the right to not want to go with you everywhere, find yourself things to do that don’t involve him it will also make you feel good about yourself.

If he wants to go out with his friends without you, there’s no harm in that. If you are anxious about him cheating on you, probably your relationship isn’t on good terms, prison him for a lifetime only with you if his a cheater won’t change him, he will only find another way to cheat.

We need to learn how to relax and understand that if they do us wrong, they will do it regardless they text you back the same minute you text or five minutes later.

Giving him the liberty to do the things he wants to do without disrespecting the relationship, will make him value you as a woman, knowing he has someone who trusts him and doesn’t want to control every step he takes.

How did they become the women in the relationship?

We are complaining constantly about how man acts nowadays, it is true that some of them are just comfortable acting like women and do not have any decent treatment whatsoever for the woman they dating however I must say some of them are acting this way because they aren’t getting anything in return.

How you would feel if you provided for someone, took care of them, treated them like they deserved and the way you were meant to, just for them to invalidate that by saying ‘’this is the bare minimum’’

No wonder why some of them prefer to act like a woman if they are getting all the benefits without any effort.

I’m all board women should know their worth, but don’t we also need to put in the effort? Relationships go both ways.

If he bought you dinner, make sure one day you can make him dinner.

If he bought you flowers, buy him coffee next time you are getting one for yourself.

If he cooks you lunch, do the dishes.

If he’s going to you to your friend’s pink birthday party, go with him to that baseball game he likes to watch

Finding someone who deeply cares for you is difficult so don’t take it for granted just because society started to tell you otherwise, cause someone might come and will value what you couldn’t.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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