My Mom passed away three years ago. On that anniversary, I texted my best friend John Inamine my homage to Mom, Have Your Meaningful Life. John and I have been friends since high school, brothers for over 45 years. John texted that Mom was “Your North Star.” He said that it was “meaningful to be someone’s guiding light in their darkest hours.” When I was little, Dad terrified me. Mom said, “Jonny, slow down.” She calmed my soul, Mom was my North Star guiding me through the storm of my childhood. Although, I was too young and too stupid to appreciate the power in her words. As I grew up, I got that Mom always had my back. She had unconditional love for me. I loved Mom unconditionally, too.
My other North Star was the late Mizukami Sensei. Sensei taught me Aikido for 25 years until he passed away. He said, “Just train. It’s not like you have to get somewhere.” I put my head down. I put in the work. I just trained.
Sensei said, “You don’t have to do it (Aikido technique) like I do. Make it work.” He generated space for me to succeed, fail, and learn from both. I invented my greater-than versions, whatever that might be.
When I made Shodan (1st-degree black belt), I said, “Thank you, Sensei.” Sensei smiled. He said, “I didn’t do anything. You did it.” Sensei was at least half right. At least. He said the same when I made Nidan (2nd-degree black belt), Sandan (3rd-degree black belt), and Yondan (4th-degree black belt).
Two years ago on New Year’s Day, Ishibashi Sensei promoted me to Godan (5th-degree black belt). Sensei told me that Mizukami Sensei wanted to promote me before he passed away. That was meaningful coming from Ishibashi Sensei and Mizukami Sensei. If Mizukami Sensei were here, he would have said, “I didn’t do anything. You did it.”
I had endured and survived my abusive childhood. The late Mizukami Sensei gave me life. In many ways, he saved my life. I just trained. I practiced the Aikido technique over and over and over and over again. I made it work. I made myself work, too. I’m the greater man because of Sensei. Only mad love and respect for him. Although Sensei is no longer on Planet Earth, he still stands beside me. He lives inside me. Sensei was my North Star.
As Sensei, I get to be the North Star for students as they invent the best versions of themselves. I see their greater-than versions that they don’t yet distinguish. I create the space for them to succeed, fail, learn, and have fun. Mastery isn’t about perfection. Mastery is about joy, about love. Just saying.
Students don’t have to do Aikido like I do, because they’re not me. I’m not them, either. I teach students to match up with the attack, regardless of the size, strength, and speed of the attacker. I tell them, “Wait it out. Take a glancing blow if you have to. You’re not going to get away scot-free. It’s one time.” Mizukami Sensei’s words are mine, now.
In the bigger picture, I guide them on their journey to invent the best versions of themselves. They put in the work. They put in the time. They just train. It’s not like they have to get somewhere.
Werner Erhard said that when we get that we choose who we are going to be in any given moment, then making a difference becomes our authentic expression. Sensei is my authentic expression. I honor the late Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei in passing on all that they have bestowed upon me.
When students give their permission to me to be Sensei, I’m their North Star. Together we sail to the “Second star to the right and straight on til morning.” We discover the greater-than versions of ourselves, as well. Just saying.
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