There’s been an increasing trend among men as of late. Maybe you’re like me and have started to notice the lack of accountability in friendships. We’ve become so busy with keeping up with the pace of life that we don’t make time for deep, authentic conversations.
The end result is that we get stuck in our heads. Last year I was going in circles with projects and couldn’t get a grasp on life. I was stuck on the hamster wheel of life and didn’t know how to ask for help. It wasn’t until January of 2017 that I started to get more clarity and break out of the funk.
What made the difference? How was I able to almost overnight shake it off? How was I able to finally see the blind spots?
Accountability. Something we all need.
Having been inspired by the transition that has taken place in my life over the past four months, here are four ways you can start to incorporate accountability into your friendship.
1. Pick Up The Phone
We need to start picking up the phone. In this day and age, it’s so easy to text, email, or Facebook message. With this added technology, we’ve forgotten the importance of picking up the phone. This is essential. At first, it may seem inconvenient because we never feel like we have time to break away from the daily grind, but I assure you it makes a huge difference.
2. Start Being Honest
Honesty is the cornerstone of friendship. If you can’t be honest with other men about where you’re at in life, it will be impossible for them to trust you. Only when you’re honest about your situation can you truly get help. It goes both ways.
If a friend comes to you seeking counsel, you must be frank. Don’t be soft. If they’re screwing up their marriage, you need to tell them. If you see them abusing alcohol and making terrible decisions, call it out. It is a disservice to them and your friendship if you’re not being honest.
3. Ask For Help
I was raised to believe that asking for help was a sign of weakness. You were supposed to hold it in and “take it like a man.” Now, in my 30’s I’ve only started to comprehend how unhealthy this can be for myself and everyone around me. It has directly impacted my business, relationships, and finances negatively. When we don’t ask for help, we’re saying we can do it alone and while the journey may be yours alone, we all need support. Asking for help is the only way to advance to your highest potential.
4. Meet face to face
Nothing will ever replace having a warm body in a room. As men, we have a deep desire to feel connected through brotherhood and comradery. Getting face to face makes it real. You can’t fake it or hide behind the mask. It’s easier to get called out on your BS.
The Internet it a beautiful thing. But it has also created a space in which much is left open to interpretation. Emojis just aren’t enough to convey what’s taking place inside of our heads. What ever happened to meeting up for coffee or an adult beverage? Stop pretending time away from the business is going to kill you and get face to face.
Accountability has helped me move closer to realizing my goals and following through with daily action. Accountability has made me honor my word. Accountability has provided me with the opportunity to see the blind spots I would have missed on my own. But the reality is that it takes two people, real friendship, and teamwork.
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