Nicole Johnson responds to a commenter as to why she, as a woman, choses to write about masculinity.
This article is in response to a comment which was left on my recent article entitled, The Magnificent Appeal of Masculinity.
I want commenter M., and all women to know, that my intention behind writing The Magnificent Appeal of Masculinity was to my honor husband as a man, not to honor what he does for me as a woman.
The commenter had written: Sorry, but I was offended when the author called herself a girl, especially since she called her husband a man. Phrases like ‘man and girl’ demean women. I wanted the author to say that she is the luckiest WOMAN in the world. I wanted her to say that her husband rejoices in her feminine power – her super-logical creative mind, her amazingly strong, flexible body, her phenomenal resilience and determination. I want her husband to admire her strength and brilliance. And I want her husband to be a tender, nurturing homemaker who makes lots of career sacrifices so that she can be at the top of her field.
The Good Men Project celebrated masculinity this past week. As a contributing writer, I submitted an article honoring my husband’s masculinity. The other point of my article was to highlight the fact that if someone can not truly love and respect their partner’s type of womanhood or manhood, they are with the wrong romantic partner.
I especially enjoyed writing The Magnificent Appeal of Masculinity because I had a perfect platform to express the unconditional love and respect I have for my husband as a man, and as my life partner and best friend. Yes, in my opinion, I am truly the luckiest girl in the world.
I find it interesting that a blissfully happy wife can not celebrate her husband, and his masculinity, without having to contend with feminist fanfare. Let’s revisit M.’s comment. Marie, you state that you are offended by my use of the word “girl” in the second paragraph of The Magnificent Appeal of Masculinity. I’m sorry you are offended; however, when did everyone (both men and women) become so sensitive? Was my use of the word “woman” in the sixth paragraph not good enough?
I am a 37 year old woman. At times I feel like a girl, a lady, and a woman. I don’t always feel like a woman; there are times I experience life and love with girlish glee. When I vacillate between female subdivisions I do not feel like less of a woman. In fact, I love it!
The comment was presumptuous. No commenter has intimate knowledge of my marriage or my household. You’ll be happy to know that my husband rejoices in my feminine power everyday. He honors my mind, my body, my tenacity, my humor, my passion, my goals, and my words (and that’s the short list). My husband is incredibly nurturing; I never would have married him if he wasn’t. You may also be delighted to know that my husband does all of the cooking. I hope you will not be vexed to learn that I do all of the laundry and housekeeping.
This is The Good Men Project; we celebrate good men here. In fact, we perseverate about good men, and I think that’s fantastic! I love the fact that I have an opportunity as a writer and as a wife to repeatedly honor good men in today’s anti-men climate. For people who want to expound upon female goodness, I invite you to start The Good Women Project.
Good Men Project Co-Founder, Tom Matlack, started this website (and movement) to prove that all men are not Budweiser boozing buffoons. He also wants people to know that every man is not a thief, bully, rapist, murder, arsonist, pedophile, cheating husband, gang-banger, pick-up-artist, or dead-beat dad. Tom’s founding message and vision for his company is the reason why I write for The Good Men Project. I also write for this website because as a Dating and Relationship Coach, I want every woman in the dating marketplace to know that there are an infinite number of good men out there. I know. I have been married to a good man for 10 thrilling years.
I love being a woman. I love rejoicing in women’s glory. I love what the Feminist movement in the United States has done for women. I am a byproduct of that movement. I love paying homage to the women Suffragettes, the 19th Amendment, the National Organization of Women, Betty Freidan, Gloria Steinem, Erica Jong, Rebecca Walker, and every woman who has fought (and continues to fight) for female equality.
However, I will not personally kowtow to feminists. In today’s combative climate, I’ve seen overzealous feminists trying to cause a shift at The Good Men Project. I will not allow my words or my intentions to be hijacked by a hostile agenda. I will fight to preserve the original intention of The Good Men Project.
There is nothing wrong with women celebrating good men. I am not being disloyal to women or women’s progress because I praise men. I do not have to qualify my articles by using a reticent feminist undertone to appease women, simply because I am a woman.
I love my husband. I love men. I love celebrating good men. I want to continue to write for The Good Men Project about admirable men, and their beautiful manhood and masculinity. Consequently, I am not a bad woman for writing about good men.
photo: sarahreido / flickr