“Growing and maintaining a mustache. I really like it.”
Alexander Chee, novelist
“Having a good cigar.”
Robb Braun, motivational speaker
“Every morning, I look at the memento mori on my computer desktop. As you may know, memento moris are reminders of death, and were popular in the Middle Ages when paintings often included skulls and other symbols. So I have a JPG of a skull on my computer. But I didn’t want it to be gruesome, so it’s a fun, multicolored skull—a design I downloaded from some site. It puts things in perspective. It helps stop the small-stuff-induced sweating. Reminds me to enjoy my life and my family while I’m here.”
A.J. Jacobs, author
“There is nothing like working on the crew, outdoors, on the first warm day of spring. The guys all bust balls all day, you give each other shit to pass the time. Everybody gives, everybody gets. Nothing serious, we bust each other’s balls and bust on the world at large. It’s the blue collar way. We are all in it together, getting through, bitching about things. All winter with the heavy clothes, you can never get fully warm, then suddenly you are down to your t-shirt by 10, muscles stretched out, flowing, building, putting up walls. Done, wrapped up at 3, take at look at what you put up, what you built, feels good. Cold beer by 3:45, on the front porch chillin. That is being a man.”
Don Foote, general contractor
“My bride and I remarry in a different state or country every year—number 13 in 2010.”
Evan Money, life coach
“Seeing films by myself. I often escape on certain afternoons into the cocoon of my favorite theater, alone in my thoughts, ready to be affected by a work of art. Distractions must be eliminated. Plan for transcendent moments. I always do, and I’m convinced that inspiration can be engineered. We needn’t be passive.”
Jason Silva, television host
“Male initiation rites in New Guinea.”
Sebastian Junger, author
“Meditation.”
Kip Mazuy, composer
“I am always training for my fights, so my most cherished ritual as a guy is simply being dad.”
“Bad” Chad Dawson, current IBO Light Heavyweight Champion of the World
“I’m a Miami Heat fan because I grew up down there, and I take every opportunity to see the team play. But these days I live in Manhattan and almost love going to Knicks games more. The team sucks and the seats are cheap, and that means I can go with a pal, sometimes for $10 each! And we can sit in the nosebleeds, talk, drink expensive beers, and, on account of not caring who wins, we’re guaranteed to leave with no disappointments. When discounted Knicks tickets go on sale, I always buy two per game. No doubt, someone will go with me. Here’s hoping the Knicks continue to suck. Sorry, New York.”
Jason Feifer, editor
“Hanging out with my son, Dylan, playing the Wii or telling big stories before bedtime.”
DP Gates, entrepreneur
“I love to take four, count ’em four, actual newspapers out to my porch in the morning. (The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, New York Post, and The Star-Ledger.) Laptop stays closed for about an hour because once I am on the grid, the print reverie is over.”
David Carr, author and journalist
“I may just have performed one of mine—going to the recently rebuilt track at the local high school (where all three of my kids went). I’ve been going up there since we moved to Port Washington in the fall of 1968.”
George Vescey, journalist
“Okay, the honest answer? It’s loving, conscious sexuality. It’s everything in one: deep love, deep pleasure, deep communication, and spirituality all at the same time. Nourishment for the soul and the body, too. To men growing older like me, I’d add, come on guys, it’s use it or lose it. Don’t let it slip away.”
Gordon Wheeler, president and CEO, Esalen Institute
“Sex.”
Chris Anderson, college student
“Watching the Detroit Tigers while drinking a Coors original.”
Ben Evans, executive editor, Fogged Clarity
“Mountain biking with my buddies on Sunday morning at the top of Corral Canyon (near Los Angeles). I’ve been doing it for the last fourteen years.”
J. Stephen Hicks, photographer
“Enjoying some downtime at home in Wisconsin when the race season allows. My buddies and I will catch up over a Crown Royal cocktail and dinner—I think it’s really important to remember your roots.”
Matt Kenseth, NASCAR Champion and Daytona 500 Winner
“My fake answer would be watching sports with my buds. My honest answer would be masturbation. Which one do you want?”
Anonymous
Photo credits:
(row one) Father/son shadow basketball, barber, beer, “you may kiss the bride”, car
(row two) Smoking, college basketball, dishes, mouse
(row three) newspaper, roofer working, mustache, sex, biking
♦ ♦ ♦
In September, 2009, Tom Matlack, together with James Houghton and Larry Bean, published an anthology of stories about defining moments in men’s lives — The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood. It was how the The Good Men Project first began. Want to buy the book? Click here. Want to learn more? Here you go.
I do the same thing as Arthur Golden with mice (we own a very old farmhouse). I also let spiders free outside, and have taught my daughter to do the same. 🙂 I’m not a guy, but I often do the ‘shit guys do’.
Thinking about how beautiful women are.
Getting lost in the woods and having to find my own way out.
About once a year I have three old friends from college that I catch up with (usually around an anime convention). At some point we take the time to just go out and have a meal where the three of us unwind about out lives. No women, no children, no distractions, just us guys.
Getting more tattoo work done. I’ve become quite close to my tattoo artist and in his chair is the one place I can still act like a total guy and get away with it in life.
Whenever my husband comes home from a long trip he has to clean the house(he also cleans it before he leaves). I think it’s some sort of territorial imperative not unlike a wolf urinating on a post.
Let us (or at least you) be thankful that he has chosen a proxy method for this territorial marking…
Proxy? What could be more about ‘asserting your dominance over your environment’ then cleaning?
‘Ogg clean it. It Ogg’s.’
True.
Get drunk and arm wrestle.
My annual ritual is next Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday. My oldest daughter is 26 and every year for as long as I can remember Her and I will watch the Super Bowl , have a $20 bet on the game and poke fun at each other. Funny part is we don’t watch football during the year, only the Super Bowl. She lives a fair distance away now (about 5 hours drive) but as she says , as long as she is able to drive home, she will come home for this. My wife and other daughter just don’t get the… Read more »
My husband is a homebrewer, brewing beer with his best friend Tom (who rents our house with us), so everything they do to prepare on brew day has an element of ritual to it. Weighing the grains, watching the water boil out in the garage, washing and sanitizing everything that will come in contact with the beer, discussing new recipe ideas, fantasizing about the brew pub they’d like to open one day…I admire their passion and their attention to detail.