“Growing and maintaining a mustache. I really like it.”
Alexander Chee, novelist
“Having a good cigar.”
Robb Braun, motivational speaker
“Every morning, I look at the memento mori on my computer desktop. As you may know, memento moris are reminders of death, and were popular in the Middle Ages when paintings often included skulls and other symbols. So I have a JPG of a skull on my computer. But I didn’t want it to be gruesome, so it’s a fun, multicolored skull—a design I downloaded from some site. It puts things in perspective. It helps stop the small-stuff-induced sweating. Reminds me to enjoy my life and my family while I’m here.”
A.J. Jacobs, author
“There is nothing like working on the crew, outdoors, on the first warm day of spring. The guys all bust balls all day, you give each other shit to pass the time. Everybody gives, everybody gets. Nothing serious, we bust each other’s balls and bust on the world at large. It’s the blue collar way. We are all in it together, getting through, bitching about things. All winter with the heavy clothes, you can never get fully warm, then suddenly you are down to your t-shirt by 10, muscles stretched out, flowing, building, putting up walls. Done, wrapped up at 3, take at look at what you put up, what you built, feels good. Cold beer by 3:45, on the front porch chillin. That is being a man.”
Don Foote, general contractor
“My bride and I remarry in a different state or country every year—number 13 in 2010.”
Evan Money, life coach
“Seeing films by myself. I often escape on certain afternoons into the cocoon of my favorite theater, alone in my thoughts, ready to be affected by a work of art. Distractions must be eliminated. Plan for transcendent moments. I always do, and I’m convinced that inspiration can be engineered. We needn’t be passive.”
Jason Silva, television host
“Male initiation rites in New Guinea.”
Sebastian Junger, author
“Meditation.”
Kip Mazuy, composer
“I am always training for my fights, so my most cherished ritual as a guy is simply being dad.”
“Bad” Chad Dawson, current IBO Light Heavyweight Champion of the World
“I’m a Miami Heat fan because I grew up down there, and I take every opportunity to see the team play. But these days I live in Manhattan and almost love going to Knicks games more. The team sucks and the seats are cheap, and that means I can go with a pal, sometimes for $10 each! And we can sit in the nosebleeds, talk, drink expensive beers, and, on account of not caring who wins, we’re guaranteed to leave with no disappointments. When discounted Knicks tickets go on sale, I always buy two per game. No doubt, someone will go with me. Here’s hoping the Knicks continue to suck. Sorry, New York.”
Jason Feifer, editor
“Hanging out with my son, Dylan, playing the Wii or telling big stories before bedtime.”
DP Gates, entrepreneur
“I love to take four, count ’em four, actual newspapers out to my porch in the morning. (The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, New York Post, and The Star-Ledger.) Laptop stays closed for about an hour because once I am on the grid, the print reverie is over.”
David Carr, author and journalist
“I may just have performed one of mine—going to the recently rebuilt track at the local high school (where all three of my kids went). I’ve been going up there since we moved to Port Washington in the fall of 1968.”
George Vescey, journalist
“Okay, the honest answer? It’s loving, conscious sexuality. It’s everything in one: deep love, deep pleasure, deep communication, and spirituality all at the same time. Nourishment for the soul and the body, too. To men growing older like me, I’d add, come on guys, it’s use it or lose it. Don’t let it slip away.”
Gordon Wheeler, president and CEO, Esalen Institute
“Sex.”
Chris Anderson, college student
“Watching the Detroit Tigers while drinking a Coors original.”
Ben Evans, executive editor, Fogged Clarity
“Mountain biking with my buddies on Sunday morning at the top of Corral Canyon (near Los Angeles). I’ve been doing it for the last fourteen years.”
J. Stephen Hicks, photographer
“Enjoying some downtime at home in Wisconsin when the race season allows. My buddies and I will catch up over a Crown Royal cocktail and dinner—I think it’s really important to remember your roots.”
Matt Kenseth, NASCAR Champion and Daytona 500 Winner
“My fake answer would be watching sports with my buds. My honest answer would be masturbation. Which one do you want?”
Anonymous
Photo credits:
(row one) Father/son shadow basketball, barber, beer, “you may kiss the bride”, car
(row two) Smoking, college basketball, dishes, mouse
(row three) newspaper, roofer working, mustache, sex, biking
♦ ♦ ♦
In September, 2009, Tom Matlack, together with James Houghton and Larry Bean, published an anthology of stories about defining moments in men’s lives — The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood. It was how the The Good Men Project first began. Want to buy the book? Click here. Want to learn more? Here you go.
The wet shave, with a single-bladed safety razor and proper shaving soap, before work in the morning, immediately after the morning shower and before getting dressed.
“Talking shop” with my old man, it drives the female members of the household around the bend.
But the absolute favourite is putting “Gumtree Canoe” on the stereo when going off on a fishing trip with the old man, the pair of us singing along.
I really enjoyed reading this. I come from a family that has more males then females in it. And whenever we get together, I love how my male cousins, brother, dad and uncles all razz each other on any number of subjects. From things that happened as we were kids (or when my uncles where kids) to just being the poor guy that was the last one to arrive late with his family. It’s an awesome thing to see. The heartfelt male bonding, the hearty laughs that inevitably follow and the playfull comebacks that get batted around throughout the day.… Read more »
Funny. I was just thinking of writing an article about my “dude moment” every Sunday.
It involves ripping down the hill from Santa Teresa on my bike and barreling out to Ipanema and back, as fast as I can go, listening to ’70s crap pop and ’80s punk rock on my MP3. No helmet.
This really scares all the women in my life to no end, but it makes me feel terribly free.
I must be a terrible person. I read on the toilet too. I don’t understand the big deal, I don’t use the paper/book “for anything else” and I wash my hands.
These girls sound like they never got over kooties.
the top first image is very funny i think that should be winner.
I guess a guy thing I do and it bothers my wife is that I still tuck a paper napkin in my shirt collar during most meals. I am a good looking, athletic 32 year old guy and I am not a nerd. I grew up in a household where our strict military dad required us kids (4 boys) to protect our clothing during meal times by tucking a paper napkin around our necks. This was not optional and I guess I don’t trust myself eating spaghetti or other messy stuff without wearing a napkin bib. I don’t see what… Read more »
Mowing the grass and then drinking a beer when its done.
I’d have to say that my fav. guy ritual is definately masturbation. No matter if you’re gay, str8, bi or anything in between, we all know that every dude does it and only dudes do it the way dudes do, so I feel a connection and bong with all other guys, knowing its what we all do, even if some of us don’t talk about it or want to admit it. And, what the hell, it’s a pretty fun thing to do…so go rub one out and enjoy yourself! Peace out, bros…
Cheers to that, bro! Definitely my fave too.
I really enjoy the visceral , the sensual and the cerebral in equal measure. Riding my bike hard enough to crash but not hard enought to keep me off it. Fixing or building something with tools powerful enought to maim you. Spending a few sweaty naked hours with an enthusiastic and beloved woman. The smell of my children and the strength of their hugs. A David Lynch or Christopher Nolan film or a Neil Stephenson book. I also really love being doted on by women in very small ways by women who are not my wife making me a plate… Read more »
You should check out http://www.thetoiletpaper.com. Excellent reading material for trips to the can.
During the Jewish high holidays, before the person playing the Shofar blows each note, the congregation calls out the name of the sound (it’s not a jazzy call-and-response; the requested sounds are in a specific sequence). Throughout the year, when I’m alone and let out a truly excellent burp, I honor it by calling out the name of a nearly corresponding Shofar sound.
Mowing the lawn.
And when it’s done, take a deep breath of air that smells of grass clippings, survey the results, mop my brow and enjoy a large glass of iced tea.
Shaving, too. Hate beards.
James Franco goes to the bathroom?
As a female to male transsexual, I think about stuff like this all the time: I’m literally going through my teenage years as an adult (acne and squeaky voice at the age of 25!), and I have to figure out things more on my own than a biological male. I have two favorite rituals that come to mind. 1. I love practicing my Maury-style ‘You’re Not the Father’ victory dance. 2. Using the excuse ‘I’m gay’ to my female friends’ significant others to prevent them from getting jealous when my friends hang out with me. Though I’m not technically what… Read more »
Shalom Y’all,
Fixing anything.
My grandfather could fix anything he could touch, even though his formal education stopped around the 8th grade.
He and my father are amazing men.
B’shalom,
Jeff
Picking my nose, farting, traveling to ghost towns, and arguing with the Ohio state fans who I casually meet on my cross country travels. The manly man IMO is dying in this country. More men are acting “limp writsted” because of shitty music trends, skilled trades dying and what media projects men as being nowdays. Don’t believe the hype. You’re a man. You need to know how to change a tire if the problem arises, or your wife or girl will think you’re a bitch. Your farts will always be louder and stinkier, your pits will always reek and your… Read more »
figuring out ways to climb up to the roofs of buildings and peeing off the top. with my buds…
masturbate, trim my beard and read the Times on the tiolet on Sunday mornings. And for some reason, I like smelling my balls.
Watching sports with a few cold beers. It could be either Cardinals baseball or Razorback football.
Many years ago, the early morning crew at my YMCA was a regular group of guys. After working out we would sit in the steam room and shoot the shit while shaving. It was a great way to start the day.
i have a lot of rituals – pulling the al bundy as Dwayne mentions, farting whenever i want in the house (women are just jealous that they “can’t”), and going to the man cave in the basement to watch tv or play guitar
Scratching my balls at will.
I would say for me, a sort of a guy ritual is college football.
Manual labor stuff: yard work and home repair.
I love it when a guy playfully tosses a little kid up in the air (Wheeeeee,”
the guy almost always says) and then the kid squeals and laughs and says
“more, daddy, more!” or “more, uncle john, more!”
Usually the man/teenager calls it quits before the kid, and–almost
always–the kid wraps his arms tight around the guy’s neck and snuggles in.