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How safe and good doesn’t it feel when you’re in control? When you know that you can handle and foresee whatever is ahead of you. When I think of what ‘a man’ is, I rarely think of a guy who lets go of control. A man is supposed to be independent and strong. If he lets go of what he wants, he’s a doormat — a wuss, right?
… But letting go of control in our friendships is necessary for a relationship to thrive. If you want to live life alone, with no one close to you, then you might be able to (pretend) that you’re in control. But not with another person. Not in a friendship. Another person means a different mindset, different past, different strengths and different weaknesses. And when two people choose to form a friendship, you’ll have no other choice than to give up a little bit of control. Yes, it doesn’t feel that safe to not be in control. People can hurt you. They can ditch you. They can betray you. But the other alternative (being in control) is not a friendship at all.
Set aside a few minutes to think about this topic.
Do you sometimes feel the urge to be in control in your friendships? If yes (which would be most of us, at some point in life) — why? Talk to a bro about it. Maybe you both can learn and grow from it.
Cheers
Kim
Founder of Brothers.
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Previously published on Medium.
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Photo by Максим Степаненко on Unsplash