Today let’s talk about how to recognize if you are in the middle of a mid life crisis, and better yet, what you can actually do about it. I’m a therapist. I’ve read everything that I can get my hands on when it comes to a midlife crisis—-and I’m in the middle of a midlife crisis. So I should know.
There is no age, there’s no height, there is no weight, there is no picture of somebody in the dictionary that says if you look like this you’re in the middle of a midlife crisis. Most of the time it’s misdiagnosed because we don’t really think about it coming our way. We hear about iabout the friend that buys the Ferrari or the Trans Am. We think about it when somebody takes off from their husband and a dates a 22 year-old boy. We hear those things, we go yeah, they must be in the middle of a midlife crisis, but when it comes to ourselves when we’re not outwardly acting out in the way it’s hard for us to decipher. Some indications that you’re having a midlife crisis begin with the fact that you’re not happy, not being as fulfilled as you’d like too in your current life, you feel as though you’re missing out.
You’re wondering if those dreams and aspirations that you had as a child will they ever come to fruition in your adult life. Will we ever get to that level that we dreamed we would? Will we ever achieve those goals that we had the desire and belief that we would in this lifetime? Will we ever get to go on those amazing trips and do those amazing things that we dreamed about as a child? It’s that fear factor of wondering if we will ever be healthy enough to do those things when the time actually comes—or will the time actually ever be present.
If you’re going through these things right now, you’re in good company—I am too. Let’s talk about the steps you can take today to help overcome and alleviate this midlife crisis over a period of time to feel better about yourself.
Step one is to realize that as we go through this midlife crisis, it’s normal it’s commonplace. Most people in their lifetime will go through it in one shape or form or another. Ok that doesn’t make it any easier, but when we know other people are going through it, you know what, it just seems easier to me to see more people in the same boat dealing with the same crisis. I feel okay about that.
The second thing is that I’m working on a day-to-day basis to not judge myself. To not be so tough on myself. I judge myself against others. When I see only what I want to see really think about it. We see their accomplishments or lifestyles and we begin to feel bad about our own life. I’ve realized I was able to identify that I’m doing that, when identifying the fact that i’m judging myself against other i’m aware of it. It doesn’t stop me from judging myself against others but it makes me aware of the fact that I’m doing it. I also become aware of the fact that i’m judging myself against a story that I’ve created about that other person and so it makes me feel better and it makes me what, more aware.
The third thing is that I have begun doing is I have begun journaling about my childhood. The things that I wanted to do as a kid. There’s things that is still havent done, OK that’s a big deal and I’m currently putting together a handwritten list, a to-do lists really, of what I want to do in this lifetime.
The 10 most important things on that list and you can always increase that list or scale it down. I’m also beginning a small vision board, a small vision board to remind myself of those ten things on my list that I’ve always wanted to do since I was a child. A good example, I’ve always wanted to take a trip to australia, have always wanted to see New Zealand. I’ve always wanted to go to Africa. There are so many things, I’ve always wanted to be around wild elephants, I haven’t done any of that and that fear factor about never doing that has really gotten to me and I want a way out of that fear.
Last but not least, I’ve realized that I have things to be grateful for and I focus on those things, the people in my life, my career, the stuff that gives me joy. I focus on that and I refocus my empty feelings okay the empty feel is that i see the things that I’m grateful for. This is a tough one and I know it’s hard because in my heart, that comparison to other life is futile and I know that, but it makes me feel bad and it takes me away from my accomplishments and put me on the sidelines really complaining and quite sad.
Grateful can be hard to come by, it’s hard to always be grateful for the things that you have but if you work toward it will overcome that negativity and that fear factor. in the meantime it’s a state of mind and when we embrace the midlife crisis instead of hate it, we get answeres quicker. That’s good news because a midlife crisis seems to be more questions than answers. You know what, I’m ready to find the answers to my life. I’m going to be putting together my vision board this week. Try this out and live your true life today.
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