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My female ancestors are very happy for me! I have broken the pattern of many of these good women who were ignored, frustrated, angry and abused. They are now my protectors. I look to my female ancestors, but men can gain from ancestral wisdom as well.
I’ve done a lot of inner healing through the years but I just couldn’t “get it” about the females in my family being so angry and frustrated. They were smart, beautiful, but always frustrated and angry, and I knew this was passed down to me.
Never being one to shy away from owning my dark side, I “owned” that I was also frustrated and angry and felt ignored and knew I wanted to change it.
So what I did was take a Family Constellation Workshop. To those of you that don’t know about this work let me try to explain:
WHAT ARE FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS?
“Children seldom or never dare to live a happier or more fulfilling life than their parents. Unconsciously they remain loyal to unspoken family traditions that work invisibly. Family Constellations are a way of discovering underlying family bonds and forces that have been carried unconsciously over several generations.”
-Bertold Ulsamer |
A Family Constellation is a three-dimensional group process that has the power to shift generations of suffering and unhappiness. Bert Hellinger, the founder of this work, who studied and treated families for more than 50 years, observed that many of us unconsciously “take on” destructive familial patterns of anxiety, depression, anger, guilt, aloneness, alcoholism and even illness as a way of “belonging” in our families. Bonded by a deep love, a child will often sacrifice his own best interests in a vain attempt to ease the suffering of a parent or other family member.
Family Constellations allow us to break these patterns so that we can live healthier, happier, more fulfilled lives. In a moment of insight, a new life course can be set in motion. The results can be life-changing.
A few weeks ago I took a Family Constellation Workshop in NYC with a skilled practitioner, Annie Block Pearl. There were approximately l8 people in the workshop, only 3 from the USA, the rest from all over the world. Because of so many people I didn’t know if I was able to work on my constellation, but fortunately I was the last one that was able to work. Let me also advise that even if you don’t work on your Constellation you can still be healed by what other folks are working on.
I am not going into detail about my work out of respect and confidentiality to the participants in the workshop. But what I can tell you is that when I worked I was able to see the unhappiness of all my female ancestors being so ignored, angry and frustrated and it was so healing to me, that none of it was my fault. I realized no matter how much inner work I had done this was passed down from one generation to another and because I did this inner healing work I didn’t have to pass this down to the next generation of my family.
I could live a happy and healthy life, not feel angry, frustrated or invisible.
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Photo provided by the author.