I am saddened by both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain’s suicides within 2 weeks of one another…
From The American Council On Science and Health: What explains the meaning of the rise in suicides within the last 16 years in the USA? The CDC suggests lack of proper mental health care, social isolation, the opioid crisis, and lingering effects of the Great Recession, all of which hit rural areas hardest. It appears fixing the suicide epidemic will require addressing very large societal trends and cultural problems. “Suicides, especially in rural America, have increased by 40%.”
This is written from my point of view on what I’ve been witnessing happening over many years living in NYC. After reading about these 2 suicides within one week of one another, I know that there are many “not so famous people” who have committed suicide and it’s alarming as seen above with the statistics from The American Council On Science and Health.
Men and women have disconnected from their families. I know for me, personally, my biological family was really crazy and I knew I didn’t want to turn out like them, so I did a lot of healing work within myself. And I tried to stay connected to my family of origin in New England after I moved to NYC many years ago, but what happened is that they politely cut me off, and because I had done so much healing work and no one else in the family did any at all, there has been no way of connecting with them in a healthy way so I let go and walked away.
Living in a big city in NYC is exciting but hard city to make new friends in. I moved to a new neighborhood in Harlem over 9 years ago, and each of the friendships I had has completely fallen apart. Meaning these folks weren’t good for me and too me. It’s made me wonder if I should remain in NYC after living here for thirty years.
My own family, where I raised four boys, two of my own and two from another marriage, has left me with great humility. With the boys I helped raise from another marriage, they have disconnected from me and my family completely. I have one biological son living in Seattle, and that makes it so hard by the sheer distance to stay connected but we have a connection and have another biological son living in NYC, which I am also connected with. I also realize that everyone has their own family and their own life. I personally no longer feel disconnected from my sons, because I realized I have my own life, and they have their own life, and I also see how challenging it is being a single person living in NYC.
I recently had shoulder surgery and had to wear a sling for one month, 24 hours a day. Very few folks in my building were even mildly curious. Thank goodness I was fortunate and my two sons provided me with a wonderful caregiver who helped me for two weeks. But I felt sad that some of the people in my building could not take the time to reach out to me and say “if you need anything, I’m here. Please don’t hesitate to ring my bell.” One person did on my floor and I felt she truly meant it and that felt good.
People are moving away from their families, moving to other big cities, having their own families, and with social media, I believe we’ve lost the personal connection with another. With social me,dia you can portray yourself as you wish and people will never know the difference unless they reach out to you and say “Hey, I want to meet you. We have such a great connection.” I’ve also experienced folks that I have met on social media are not what they portray when I meet them in person. It’s also our shame of mental illness and just not speaking about it with one another. And people moving away from rural areas to big cities to find jobs.
Also now with the social fabric of our country that has gone down the tubes with the age of Trump, that isn’t helping anyone who is contemplating suicide. Trump is symbolic of evil and all that is bad and so are many of the folks in our Congress.
The shining light in all of this! Everything is out in the open. Nothing is hidden anymore, which is showing us all that we need to make great changes in our country, both personally and individually and put down that damn Smartphone!
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