2. People actually do this?
3. My wallet’s tight too, dude. No wait, it’s literally shrinking.
4. Facebook, the vigilante.
5. In case you want your ears to die …
6. If you didn’t want to go on our honeymoon, you should have just said so.
7. Homeland Security and Wal-Mart are teaming up. Gird your loins.
8. Martian sand is weird looking.
9. Don’t wear these. Please.
10. Aged 75 to 95 but still into 69. You heard me.