I’m a Raider fan and make no apologies for that. I’ve loved the Raiders since I was a kid and I will until the day I die. I tell you this so you understand why I’m saying the things I’m saying in this post.
Monday morning I woke up feeling good. The previous evening was spent making fun of Aubrey O Day as I watched Celebrity Apprentice and I was looking forward to seeing what the day held. I threw on a t-shirt, grey cardigan, jeans, Converse and after my 14-year-old daughter (who I affectionately call Drama Queen) was off to school I went to eat breakfast. As I sipped green tea and ate blackberries and raspberries I turned on my computer and immediately felt sick. “Manning chooses Broncos” appeared on my screen.
“Jesus Christ” I yelled. “This blows.” There was no one in the house with me but I still felt the need to vocally declare my unhappiness. As a Raider fan the Broncos were the last team I wanted Peyton to go to. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the hell out of Manning and what he’s done in his career. He’s one of the best ever and that’s precisely the reason I’m less than thrilled about the choice of teams.
The last thing I want is for my Raiders to once again face one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time twice a year but as I continued to contemplate the ramifications of the event I was struck with the proverbial silver lining to this very black cloud. Manning coming in means that the person I detest most in the NFL, Tim Tebow (or as I like to call him, “Teblow”), is getting kicked to the curb.
My favorite clipboard holder will be getting a new home and that makes me very happy. I never got the whole Tebowmania thing. The guy completed 46.5% of his passes (126 of 271) and had a QB rating of 72.9. Dude lost to Buffalo 40-14 and completed just 13 passes. Actually, if you count his three interceptions he completed 16. Throw in his two fumbles and you can see that the guy is not a quality quarterback.
Tebow Nation will respond by pointing you to the games he won but I reply by saying the only way the Broncos won those games was by some sort of dumb luck or divine intervention. You can’t tell me that when a guy completes two of his eight passes for a total of 25 yards that he deserves the credit for the win against KC. Absolutely not. Could I do any better? No, but I’m not pretending to be an NFL quarterback. My guess is now when Timmy “Tebows” he’s praying for a backup job somewhere and not a gig as the third string/guy who shags the loose balls at practice.
Tim Tebow isn’t my problem anymore. Peyton Manning is. As a fan of the silver and black I can only pray that Carson Palmer gets in sync with his receivers and that he has the kind of year he’s capable of having. If not, the Godfather will roll over in his grave as his much-hated Broncos defeat the team he built and then tore down.
I thought John Elway was smoking crack for drafting Tebow as high as he did but I have a renewed respect for the man who said “Tebow will be our starter next year” then sent him packing. Elway is a guy that I respect the hell out of for what he accomplished in his career as a player and now as an executive, but I don’t like him because he beat the snot out of my Raiders time and again as a player and now it seems he’s found a way to do it again as an executive. He’s the kind of guy that you hate with a passion, until he comes to your team.
Why do I say God hates me? Simple. I prayed daily that Manning would sign with anyone other than the Broncos or Niners. My former radio co-host, Wes The Sports Guy, is a huge San Fran fan and I know the kind of taunting I would have received had Manning arrived on the wrong side of the bay. Thankfully I won’t be hearing Wes run his yap about that but I know I’ll get an earful when the Raiders and Broncos hook up.
If I could ask Peyton Manning one thing it would be this. “Why not Tennessee?” It’s a nice state. Elvis lived there. You went to college there. People in that state worship you. You had an owner who wanted you badly and fans that would go crazy for you. Wouldn’t that be the perfect fit for you? If Tennessee is good enough for the King it’s good enough for you.
In Denver you have to play outside in the cold and the snow. In Tennessee its warmer and they make Jack Daniels there. You broke my heart Peyton Manning and for that I pray that my Raiders find a way to shut you down, sack you, intercept you and limit your touchdown productivity. I’m not optimistic that will happen because as I said before, I’m pretty sure God hates me.
If you’ve never seen the Tim Tebow skit on SNL, check it out.