Unwritten

I break tradition

Sometimes my tries

Are outside the lines

Natasha Bedingfield

*It’s called “venting” not “bitching” and it’s cheap therapy.

Friday sucked.  Thursday completely blew and as a matter of fact the last month has been pretty shitty.

There have been some high moments over the past two years, but let’s face it, ever since I got offered a job hosting a morning radio show on a brand new radio station in suburban Toronto, things have gone way downhill.

“Why did Friday suck?”  You ask.  it was pretty much the culmination in my boning from my previous employer.  In case you haven’t been following along, here is the Cliff Notes version:

I was the only Finance Manager for an auto dealership. When I started, I inherited a H U G E receivables list from our manufacturers finance company.  $890,000 as a matter of fact.  This was all money the dealership was owed for cars sold, but was being held up because of paperwork problems or things in transition.  When I left it was $97,000.

I also had to “clean up” around 20 deals from the previous finance people, including having to get two cars back from customers who were less than forthcoming about  their income. I didn’t get paid for any of these deals I finished and cleaned up, but I did it because no one else was going to do it and it had to be done.  Remember this towards the end.  It becomes important.

Back in August I began having small seizures and I will admit that it was affecting my work.  I heard shitty comments directly from the GM and GSM, and sales guys would tell me that I was getting dissed on a pretty regular basis.

One sales guy asked the GSM if it was a big deal that a customer initialed in the co-signers spot on a Buyers Order and the GSM said, “I don’t know.  Let’s see if dipshit catches it.”  For the record, I was “dipshit”.  Also for the record, I DID catch the mistake.  Blow me.

“It sucks,” I thought.  “But I have a job and that’s better than no job.”  Both the GM and GSM were aware of my health concerns, but neither one gave a crap.  In mid-October the GM came into my office 15 minutes before closing and I was told that they were making a “lateral move” and shifting me to sales.

In the couple days leading up to my “lateral move” the side effects from my seizures were getting worse.  Not horrible, but worse.  My doctor and I were discussing options for me and since it’s pretty hard to sell cars if you can’t drive (not driving is only a temporary thing), she decided to put me on short term disability while we figured out the right combo of medications to stop the seizures.

On a late Thursday afternoon my doctor told me to contact my employer to tell them I was going out on short term disability.  The next morning I texted the GM to tell him I needed to talk with him.  No answer.  Same with the GSM.  I called the dealership and was told the GM was off and the GSM was “busy” and I was told to talk with the Office Manager if I needed anything.  So I did.

The long and the short of it is that three days after telling the office manager I was going out on short term disability, the corporate HR “lady” told me I was being terminated because of “job abandonment”.

Telling the Office Manager what was going on wasn’t enough, she explained.  I needed to tell the GM or GSM personally.  I didn’t call in sick the three days after asking for the paperwork, so they “assumed” I abandoned my job.  But they knew I hadn’t.

Because I apparently abandoned my job, I have to fight for my unemployment.  My neurologist was out of town for 10 days and because corporate held up my paperwork, it arrived just after she left.  Shit.

I found out the other day that they were giving the new finance guy half the money from the deals I wasn’t finished with.  I never got paid on the stuff I finished up when I got there.  I called and texted the GM for three days and never got a response.  I called the HR lady and I was told that it was the GMs call and she was doing what he said.  Asshole.

Yesterday morning I called the dealership to ask if my paycheck was there and I was told that I had no final check.  I split money with the new guy and then they made up found other things that they needed to charge me back for.  WTF?

This is the end of the dealership story for today, but it’s not the end of the story.  Not a chance in hell that this shit is over.

I’m just beginning
The pen’s in my hand
Ending unplanned

What’s the whole purpose of this post?  Besides the obvious venting, it’s a reminder to myself to hold on.  This is temporary and things will change.  Ask the people that really know me, and they will tell you that I’m generally a very optimistic person.  I don’t sit and dwell on the crap, but rather look for a shortcut to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Believe it or not, I’m starting to see rays of light.  At least I think that’s light.  It could just be my flashlight reflecting off some dust, but I don’t think so.

I’m gonna hold on and things are gonna change.  2009 was supposed to be my big breakout year—J.R. in the Morning was hitting the airwaves in a smaller market, but I was getting good exposure.  After 2009 went south, I vowed that 2010 was going to be a great year.  There have been some good moments and some mild successes (like this blog), but overall it sucks ass and is ending on a low note.

My daughter is flying back to California on December 24 and lands back in Buffalo at 11 PM on New Years Eve.  For the first time in Drama Queen’s 13 years, she and I will not be together on Christmas.

As if that wasn’t enough, I found out yesterday that Baby Mama is picking her up and that the two of them will be spending the night at my mom’s house and will have Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day with her, my brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew, while I sit alone 3,000 miles away.

Wow.  I guess I already got my Christmas present from all of them—a nice kick in the nuts.  Baby Mama sleeping in my old room, in my old bed, eight years later?  Something’s not right about  that.

I’m calling 2011 “The Year”.  Something good has to happen.  Right?  I’ve ridden out the past two years and I’m ready for a change.  My previous crazy work schedule meant I didn’t spend nearly as much time with D.Q. as I should have and I guess now I’m going from one extreme to the other.

I’m going to try to take advantage of this time off and pour my energy into working on the book I started a couple years ago.  It’s really scattered and I need to pull it all together and write.  A lot.  The book is a novel about a single dad looking for love.  Very loosely based on some of my experiences.  Hopefully it won’t suck too much.

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

J.R.

P.S.  If you think choosing this song makes me less manly, I apologize.  On second thought, I don’t apologize.  A real man can be OK with Natasha Bedingfield.  She’s way better than her brother, Daniel Bedingfield.  That dude is a douche.  Plus, she’s kinda hot.