In many cases, being yourself and relaxing during a date will help you decide whether the relationship could be a good fit. However, doing any of these 10 things can sabotage a date — even if you’re right for one another.
1. Airing Your Grievances
A small mention about the subway being packed or getting stuck behind a driver going 30 in a 50 should only be uttered in a humorous way or as an explanation for your tardiness. People remember how you make them feel more than the words you say, and listening to nonstop complaints is exhausting.
2. Being Rude to the Server
Being rude or disrespectful to your server says nothing good about your character. A date is not the time to display a superiority complex.
3. Yawning or Falling Asleep at Dinner
Nothing says “you’re boring” more than continuously yawning, or worse, actually falling asleep in front of your date at dinner. If you have a medical condition like narcolepsy, your date should be understanding, but if you’re simply sleep deprived or unstimulated, you have no reasonable excuse.
Avoid coming off as an uninterested prospect by downing a shot of espresso one to two hours before a date — that should give your body enough time to perk up without being jittery, either.
4. Having More Than Two Drinks
There are several reasons dating gurus recommend a two-drink maximum on a first date. If you have too much to drink, you could divulge details about yourself that are less than pleasant, let out a putrid belch or have to beg your date for a sober ride home.
Urban dwellers have a bit more leeway, as they can meander back to their apartment without putting other drivers on the road at risk, but you’re still in peril of exhibiting embarrassing behavior in front of someone who will surely be sharing every detail in her friends’ group chat.
5. Reckless Driving
A drive can be a great place to get to know your date, unless you get careless or decide to show off. Not only will a car accident ruin your date, but it could also result in severe injuries. You might think that avoiding a car accident is common sense, but 60 people a day crash into buildings alone, proving it’s a lesson to regard. If you’re driving to a date, be sure to keep your alcohol consumption under the legal limit and choose a place where you’re familiar with the driving terrain.
6. Choosing a Messy Meal
“Just be yourself” is an idealistic phrase muttered to bachelors often. The goal is to find yourself in a loving relationship where you feel comfortable ordering garlic-drenched pasta basked in a tomato sauce. But on a first date, the general guidelines of what to order are similar to a business lunch — choose an easy-to-eat meal that doesn’t waft strong odors. You’ll increase your chances and won’t put your outfit in danger of a dry cleaner run.
7. Spilling Hot Coffee or Tea on Your Date
You’re patting yourself on the back for suggesting a lunch date. It shows her you’re a wholesome guy who doesn’t need alcohol to open up — plus, you’ll likely save a lot of money by choosing this option. You think to yourself that you’re home free, nothing could go wrong.
As you sit gazing at each other, you notice her teacup is empty and could use another pour from the pot. Within seconds her soft gaze turns to anger and pain as you knock the teapot full of scalding tea into her lap. If you know you’re an accident-prone guy, take her to a coffee or tea shop that does single-serve beverages and leave the pouring to the professionals.
8. Forgetting Her Name
The second you set the date, put her name in your phone with a notification. If you find her online, that’s even better since there’s an electronic trail. Say her name to yourself 10 times before leaving for the date. If your memory is quite bad, write her name just above your wrist and wear a long sleeve button down to hide it. Do not rely on your memory — your focus will be on so many other things. Forgetting her name is a rough mistake in which to come back.
9. Accidentally Sending Her a “How the Date Is Going” Text
Your friends or family love juicy details, and you promised your aging mother you’d let her know how the date went, too — she can’t wait for grandchildren.
It’s tempting to update them in real-time when your date leaves briefly to use the restroom, but wait! You won’t have a clear picture of how the date went until it ends anyway. Your date is likely the last person you texted to let them know you’re on your way or have just arrived, and the chances you will accidentally text them instead of your nosy mother is too high to risk.
A man in touch with his emotions is a beautiful sight, but a man crying on a first date is not. Unless your date tells you the funniest joke ever and your tears are from laughter, rush to the bathroom and compose yourself if you feel an emotional release incoming.
As long as you stay away from these 10 ill-advised ways to ruin a date, you’ll be set up for success!
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Photos provided by the author.