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A woman and I have been living together for about a year. Recently I began to notice that she spends all her free time on the Internet: lying in bed, at breakfast, in the shower, as well as in the evening and before bed. Most of her time she is online, instead of spending that time with me. Besides work, she doesn’t go anywhere, she has no other hobbies.
I’ve told her more than once that I don’t like it, that I’d like to hang out with her more, to walk. She replies that I’m exaggerating, we spend so much time together, and sometimes she wants to be alone. But she doesn’t understand that she spends all her time on the Internet.
I think my girlfriend is addicted to the Internet and it scares me. I want to help her somehow to get rid of it, but I don’t know how to do it?
The opinion of a family relationship psychologist
This isn’t about addiction. However, if a woman spends all her free time on the Internet, then most likely she gets there what she lacks in normal life. And this may be related to relationships as well as to other personal needs.
The Internet drags on because it is easier to meet your needs in the virtual world than in the real world. For example, it is easier to win a game than in some life situation, to prove yourself, to get attention, fame, enjoy the beauty, etc.
If you are not satisfied with something in a relationship, it is easier to escape to the virtual world than to try to resolve such a hidden conflict. The Internet is only a secondary consequence of a hidden conflict. Therefore, first of all, you should identify what is wrong with your relationship.
Only the woman herself can redirect her attention to something else. She needs to realize what she is looking for and receiving on the Internet. Then the woman can understand what she’s missing in real life.
To instill a new habit, you need to advise the woman to start and end the day differently, to change the daily routine. The guy will have to act as a support and inspirer. It’s clear that without the woman’s desire, it won’t work.
I advise men not to test their patience, and it is worth starting to understand what is happening, to work on relationships, looking for ways to change the situation. A psychologist can also help a couple in this.
Sexologist’s opinion
Addiction is any action that is intrusive (poorly controlled) and potentially harmful to a person’s health, life, and/or social environment. In this case, you cannot treat a woman’s behavior as an addiction.
Furthermore, the motives for this behavior are also unclear. However, the most common causes of such behavior can be a problem in relationships: unspoken aggression, lack of attention, family crises, personal experiences and development crises.
Such behavior is similar to a habit, so it will have to be dealt with like any negative habit – willpower, increased control and high employment.
But it will be possible to redirect a woman’s attention if the reason for such behavior becomes clear. Without establishing contact between partners, this is impossible. If you get through to the woman, you can redirect your attention to everything that brings pleasure and pleasure to two in pairs: joint walks and visits to various events, dancing and various clubs, swimming pools and much more. If you do not have enough money for this, you can use PaydayMe.com.
At the same time, it should be understood that this is a crisis of relationships, and it, like any crisis, can lead to alienation in understanding, breakups and completion of relationships.
In such situations, you should try to talk constructively and convey your concerns to your partner. At the same time, you should rely on your own experiences and unrealized needs. If it is not possible to make contact on their own, they will most likely have to seek help from specialists, psychologists and psychotherapists.
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