—
It’s been officially three weeks since lockdown was announced here in the UK. Since then both my partner and I have been cooped up together with little time away from each other and little privacy. As well as being lovers we were transformed into co-workers, housemates and exercise partners pretty much over-night. Most importantly, we had turned into each other’s main source of human contact making it vital that we remained largely on good terms and supported each other as best we could.
This was the ultimate relationship test. If we could get through this, we could get through anything, right?
Being with someone 24/7 for a long period of time is hard. If you’re someone that needs your own space and independence, then lockdown may become especially suffocating. As much as you love your partner, this amount of time seems a little intimidating as you worry that it will cause strain on your relationship. Your usually busy schedules apart made you appreciate your time together more. Without them, it’s easier to start taking your partner for granted. Easier to engage in the arguments and the cold silences that follow.
If you are worried about these things, then try focusing on the little acts of love that will help you to sustain a healthy and loving relationship during the lockdown. Instead of using their absence to appreciate them, use their presence to notice and admire them for who they are in the here and now.
Here’s how:
Compliment your partner
When you’re with each other every day it is easy to forget to look at your partner and appreciate their beauty not only on the outside but on the inside as well.
If your partner is anything like me then their fashion sense may have rapidly declined during the lockdown. They have stopped wearing make-up and are constantly wearing jogging bottoms and sweats on the regular. Despite this, they are still them. They still have a smile that lights up the room or a look which makes your heart melt. Don’t forget to tell them this even if that means telling them every day.
As for their inside beauty don’t forget to appreciate this as well. Now that your spending even more time together you may get to know them in ways that you haven’t done before. They may have shown incredible strength and kindness during this difficult time or they may have said something that’s changed your perspective. Whatever it is, share it with them and remind them of how much a difference they make in your life. This will transform the time you spend with them into a joy as you rediscover all the things that you love about them.
Take time to check in with them
This seems an odd one especially during lockdown when being together is unavoidable.
What I mean by this is to take the time to really ask your partner how they are doing. You may go days doing your own thing separately but together without really talking about the deep stuff. By taking the time to directly ask your partner how they are feeling or how they are coping shows that you not only care immensely about them but also that you are aware that just because they “look fine” doesn’t mean they are fine inside.
By checking in with your partner daily means that you can grow together as a couple during this lockdown rather than gradually growing apart.
Cook each other meals
When my partner makes me breakfast in bed I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. There is really nothing better than to wake up to the smell of fresh coffee and fried eggs on toast.
By taking turns to surprise each other with breakfast in bed or a date night dinner turns the average day into something special and romantic. Now that all the restaurants are closed make the most of your culinary skills and impress each other with creativity from whatever you can find. It doesn’t have to be the fanciest thing on the planet, as they say “it’s the thought that counts” and the time that you have taken to cook something that they will love.
To spice things up you could try and mimic your partner’s favorite dish from their favorite restaurant or cook a themed meal from one of their favorite movies or books. The key is to use food to bring a smile to their face, which for a lot of people, isn’t hard to achieve.
Set aside dedicated time to spend together
Again, much like my second point whilst you are with each other constantly it’s easy to forget to properly spend time with your partner when you see them so regularly. Falling into this trap means that you could potentially go for weeks living next to your partner without really spending any quality time with them.
To avoid this why not set aside some time together after a day’s work. Of course, you could settle down and watch a movie together or enjoy the process of cooking a nice meal for each other but here are some alternative activities.
- Run yourselves a bath — enjoying a nice long soak with your other half is not only a relaxing experience for both of you but a good chance to talk to each other and enjoy one another’s company
- Start a project together — whether there is some DIY that you can do on the side, or something creative that you could do together like artwork, music or writing, setting yourselves a project which you can dip in and out of strengthens your teamwork and allows you to engage in something that you both enjoy.
- Setting up a games night — whilst this may not be the most relaxing activity for you and your partner it adds a bit of fun to an otherwise relatively mundane kind of day. Getting out a pack of cards and entering into some friendly competition gives you something to giggle about. You can even make up your own games customizing them to your own interests and personalities.
All in all, I hope that these suggestions encouraging little acts of love enable you to continue to appreciate and make time for your partner during these challenging times. It may even be these small acts that get you through the storm outside and ready for the next chapter to begin.
—
Previously published on Medium.
—
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Talk to you soon.
—
Photo credit: unsplash.com