Being a 23 year old man and still a virgin seems to require an explanation.
I don’t know if it’s my confidence. I don’t know if it’s that people generally consider me attractive. But people simply assume that I’m not a virgin. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a 23 year old dude. You know what, forget the age. I think it’s just because I’m a dude.
You’re probably reading this and are amazed yourself. So, here’s a backstory. I was a Christian practicing celibacy and any girlfriend I had was also a celibate Christian. Well, except one. She suffered from a sexual pain disorder which turned her vagina into Gandalf from Lord of the Rings screaming, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”, and my penis into Balrog falling into the abyss as Gandalf destroys the bridge. One might infer that, judging the size of Balrog and comparing that to my penis might be me suggesting that I am also making a comparison in size. Well, this is not the forum for that. I have a Twitter account where you can get all the giant, mammoth-y, fiery whip-wielding details. But I digress.
We live in a society where to be virgin and male is strange and people (men, especially) wonder if there’s something wrong with you, forgetting that it could simply be a matter of choice. Unfortunately, once you bring that up people wonder why the hell would you choose to not have sex? Even if you have had sex before, and then later made the choice to be celibate, people think that you’re a moron. “Have your testicles descended? Yes? Time to have sex, son. Shut up. We’re going to the strip club, but first I have to stop at the bank.”
It seems that the onus falls on the promiscuous friend(s) to get the virgin friend some tail. And while I appreciate it guys, I really do, the truth is, I really don’t.
I’m not Christian anymore, but I still think there’s a point in waiting. There’s a discipline involved. There’s something to look forward to. And I think I might have grown out of that stage where you want to have sex with every hot girl you see. I don’t want to have sexual partners that characterize a certain era, because I just don’t want to be that close to you and then we endure the awkward stage of post-breakup. Awkwardness will ensue, but it’d be even more awkward, I imagine. I can only imagine, since I am a virgin.
Assuming an identity is the same as prejudice. It’s just that “prejudice” carries a certain heavy connotation, when in reality it simply means you pre-judged. You took me at face value. You judged the book by its cover. You saw a guy and assumed that he’s like all the others.
I will say this though. When men just assume that you’re not a virgin, it’s A LOT better than when they find out that you’re a virgin. And some girls, when you tell them that you are celibate, they revere you, but you probably won’t get to have sex with them.
You know what? Don’t tell anybody!
Read more: I Thought You Were Like a Ken Doll, By Daniel Jones
Image credit: Foxtongue/Flickr
I’m 34, male and still a virgin and will die one, natural selection wasn’t kind to me. I inheretied every undesirable trait in my family tree so as to render me a genetic dead end. Darwinian calculous doesn’t care about fairness or equality, it only cares about ensuring the best genes are passed on, so that leaves me out.
You can skip the ‘man’ part because, girls have this just as easily. I’m still a virgin and 21 and when people find out about this, they always assume I’m saving myself for marriage, which I am absolutely not. I’m an atheist for fucks sake. It just didn’t happen yet. That’s all there is to it.
what exactly is the point of this discussion, other than to highlight that yes, by and large people find virginity or celibacy a bit of a freak show attraction? if the title had been ‘let’s assume i’m gay’ would you have had the same comments asking if he’s weird, if he’s really thought it through [one comment about it not being an informed choice – i’ve never tried arsenic but i’m pretty sure it’ll kill you. you don’t need to try everything to still know the result. that’s what school was for.], if he just wouldn’t be happier joining everyone… Read more »
I think another line of thinking might be that if a man hasn’t had a lot of sex, he’s not ready to settle down. He hasn’t yet sowed his wild oats or gotten it out of his system. He’ll always be wondering if there’s something better out there instead of having it figured out. And even if he might have it figured out at first, what if he reaches middle age and starts to resent that he hasn’t had all the ‘adventure’ he could have had. Or, if the lack of previous experience was not by choice, will he be… Read more »
No. Facts just don’t support it. In my experience and some studies I read, promiscuous men and women are more unlikely to stay faithful and or keep a long term relationship. It’s rare to find promiscuous men and women staying monogamous very long.
I think, the better explanation is, is that, even if he don’t have experience with penile-vaginal sex, he has lots of experience with its other forms. From his statement, there is oral sex, and I won’t eliminate anal sex and handjobs and mutual masturbation. Also add porn.
Whoa, let’s step back a second. Promiscuity involves having many sex partners. Cheating involves dishonesty. I find it both specious and offensive to say the two go hand-in-hand.
Also, monogamy in and of itself is NOT a virtue. Sexual relationships with multiple people are not wrong; deceit is. Keep those things separate. Non-monogamy is not cheating. Cheating is cheating.
I have immense respect for you and all who choose to be celibate. Considering the “christian” population, it shouldn’t be a surprise to be among virgins. But having a personal rather than religious based abstinence, that demonstrates a strong character.
In the face of those who have unplanned pregnancies and contract inhibiting and life threatening stds and grow more and more jaded, you’ll be the one laughing.
Hopefully, relationships grow out of maturity and discipline. What about arranged marriages where the divorce rate is lower. Some are trapped but I’ve seen a lot that work. My parents, for example
I’ve been working on a virginity documentary for several years and have been crowd-sourcing first person stories from all over the world for our blog. Among those stories are many by older virgin men who talk about the shame and anxiety of being sexually inexperienced. The connection between those feelings and our stereotypical expectations of ‘masculinity’ can’t be ignored. But there are other factors that also come up as clear issues: Asexuality, a general disinterest in sex; Aspergers, a social interaction issue; and the odd penchant for referring to women ‘females’ in their stories, as if women were a totally… Read more »
@Therese Referring to women as “females” is odd? What is the preferred word? Broads? Gals? Hoes? Girls? I’m guessing these older men had a mother who taught them the “always respect women” garbage (put them on a pedestal!). Like Andy said in “The 40 Year Old Virgin”, “I respect women so much I stay away from them”. Women probably do feel like different species to them. But to begrudge them calling women “females”? This sounds like another case of no matter what these guys do they can’t win with women. “OMG he said females, he must be weird and creepy!”… Read more »
I’d say that like with most other sexual things, it’s highly individual. Some women may feel pressured that they have to make a guy’s first time really memorable. Some women may not be interested in sex with a virgin because they prefer someone with more experience. Some women may be surprised or nervous, but willing to help a guy through his first time compassionately. And some women, though I’d say it’s probably quite rare, do specifically and actively seek out virgin men. (See also: Panda Threesome.) I personally think I would skew towards wanting to compassionately help him through it,… Read more »
I do think it’s odd to call a woman a ‘female.’ Why not just call her a woman? It’s like me saying ‘I went out with this male’ or ‘I got a phone call from a male.’ Semantics aside, I’m really sorry you personally got such a bad reaction re:virginity from the women you went out with. Your instinct not to tell the first woman seems like it was a good one; sexual experience isn’t something we automatically have to share. But I do think sweeping generalizations get us into trouble and create bad feelings where there should be trust.… Read more »
Children with Asperger’s are sometimes referred to as “Little Professors” due to an overall tendency to use very technical although obscure terminology. For example: I have Asperger’s syndrome and I just typed “terminology” in place of “words”. It’s just slightly more precise language in the denotative sense; however it does ignore the connotation of such words. People with Asperger’s and Autism generally have a tough time understanding and connecting with others. The syndrome directly affects one’s ability to read non-verbal communication, thus dating and flirting are often nearly impossible. Most people diagnosed with Asperger’s or Autism are male but there… Read more »
You make a good point, QuantumInc. I do hear from a lot of guys with Aspergers and for them dating and flirting is clearly a huge challenge, and makes it excruciating to form intimate relationships. It may also explain the use of the word ‘female’ when talking about a woman. That kind of precise terminology makes sense for someone with Aspergers.
FWIW, not all women are females and not all females are women. (Where “female” means being female-assigned-at-birth.) I get the language specificity thing, but cisgendered women are not the only women.
I’ll admit that use of the word ‘females’ makes me uncomfortable. It’s not that I would call the guy a creep or anything, but I would just instinctively be weirded out. It’s so…technical and medical. And that’s not very sexy. I would never think you’re a bad person for using it, but it would make me think you have a very disconnected relationship with women (unless we’re using it as a pet name or teasingly). I’d still try and understand, and good point about the Aspergers. You just have to be understanding and patient at that point.
Yes, seeing ‘female’ used in romantic fiction always takes me out of the story a little while I blink and feel a slight disconnect. I wonder if there’s an element in it of not wanting to write ‘girl’, which can come off as patronising or demeaning, but also being alarmed that ‘woman’ comes across as too solid, mature or old-fashioned in denoting a character whose vibrant and youthful sexuality is a dominant trait – especially if the writer is a teen or young adult themselves. The word ‘woman’ seems associated more with the middle-aged than the young. ‘Female’ also makes… Read more »
I’m a trans woman, meaning I’m female. I don’t care one bit what my gametes are or have been producing at any point in time. My brain physiology is female, and its all that matters.
Many guys claim that their virginity is the turn-off to women they meet as potential sexual partners, but I haven’t come across too many women for whom that’s a deal-breaker. It may be more likely that women are actually responding to underlying issues – a lack of interest, a lack of confidence, or a basic hostility to ‘females’. Because women don’t lie or something? (Sorry for sounding a bit antagonistic but its too often I see men’s experiences reduced to claims and beliefs based on not knowing too many women that can corroborate them). Obviously there are women out there… Read more »
Danny is exactly right and probably addressed this in a gentler way than I would have. I think most men know from experience that women frequently say one thing but then actually do another. I’m guessing these women that you interview have convinced themselves that’s how they feel about virgins, but have no doubt done something totally different in real life.
Something I repeatedly see in the GMP comments are men giving their experiences about women and dating, and women jumping in to cite some reason why what the men have actually _experienced_ isn’t valid.
Jimbo & Danny – I really wasn’t trying to deny the experience of the guys writing in about this. Clearly, it’s a very real and unpleasant thing to go through. I think the trap is to approach every potential situation with the certainty that you’ll get hurt. If someone has made up their mind that every woman will reject them for their inexperience, then why bother ever trying? You can see where that road leads, and although the guys that write in to us are a self-selecting group, for them that road is well-traveled. To broaden it past sexual experience,… Read more »
I really wasn’t trying to deny the experience of the guys writing in about this. Clearly, it’s a very real and unpleasant thing to go through. Oh I’m sure you weren’t. I think the trap is to approach every potential situation with the certainty that you’ll get hurt. If someone has made up their mind that every woman will reject them for their inexperience, then why bother ever trying? You can see where that road leads, and although the guys that write in to us are a self-selecting group, for them that road is well-traveled. I agree. One shouldn’t go… Read more »
I think the line of thought is that if other women were not attracted to you, there must be something wrong i’m not seeing.
Sexual experience is treated like a measurement of proper masculinity. If he doesn’t have a lot of sexual experiences (with women, heteronomitivity of course) then it’s taken as a sign that something is wrong with him. Agreed, and to expand on that point: OKCupid.com used to have a really unique feature, for a dating site: discussion forums. People used them to get suggestions on profiles, to try to organize in-person meetups, to vent, or just to chat. As you would expect, topics along the lines of “Do men/women like this?” or “Why do women/men do that?” came up frequently. The… Read more »
could it just be that women are worried that a man with no sexual experience won’t know what to do in bed, and as s result the sex won’t be good for her, and that she’ll have to teach him how to fo everything (which is a turn off?) I know that sounds shallow, but most people have somewhat shallow criteria when it comes to picking sexual partners.
While it could be simply a worry that he won’t know what to do in bed or a social standing thing, I think it’s a bit more complicated than that, at least for me. Here’s why I might worry: 1) Hasn’t sowed his wild oats. Hasn’t ‘gotten it out of his system.’ Because he hasn’t experienced anything else, might think that the grass is always greener elsewhere. Might get resentful in later years for not experimenting. Gets overly excited by female attention and is willing to do anything for it, including hurt and humiliate me. 2) Thinks porn or romantic… Read more »
#1 seems particularly valid to me, especially considering Jimbo’s response above. I’ve had no sexual experiences with anyone, so I can’t know for SURE, but I consider myself a pretty vanilla person. I would want someone to have figured out vanilla is what he wants by the time he gets to me, just so I don’t feel guilty about not catering to his kinks (which he is entirely entitled to, as well as a woman who caters to them). I’m totally fine not sowing my wild oats, but I accept that most men have a higher sex drive, so I’d… Read more »
The problem is in the midst of women being all sexually liberated and shit that shallowness gets a free pass. “Oh it’s not shallow that she doesn’t want to lead him by the hand she’s just exercising her choice.”
HA. Man you young guys think you have it all figured out. 23 years old and you are just so mature you’ve grown out of the “stage” where you want to have sex with every hot chick you see. I used to think I had it all figured out at 23 also. I didn’t. Back then even with all the problems I had attracting women (and with being a virgin) I had a couple of girls who liked me enough to either offer to make out with me or even give me a bj. I turned them down mostly due… Read more »
A number of people have commented on that line about me not wanting to be with every hot girl I see, which led me to reconsider my stance on it. I remain the same, here’s why. If I’m not attracted to you, I really don’t see how a sexual experience is going to be enjoyed. Additionally, if i dont even like you as a person, forget it. That is the point I was trying to make. As a teen, if you were hot that’s that, but that doesn’t make for a good relationship, no matter how enduring or fleeting. If… Read more »
My hope for you, and for everyone, is that you don’t find yourself older and wishing you hadn’t wasted your 20s because of some ideals you thought were high minded and mature, only to find that after all they didn’t matter all that much. Best of luck to you Jason.
Definitely appreciate it Jimbo. Definitely don’t want any regrets.
“You know what? Don’t tell anybody!” I would hope that you would at least tell your partner/potential partner. I completely respect your decision to remain celibate, but I think she’d have a right to know. I do think it’s worth it to wait for sex with someone you’re truly into, but understand that it can be frustrating physically and emotionally for many people. It would be good if she knew what she was getting into and why. Other people don’t have to know, but if you’re serious about someone or planning to date her for a while, it’s a different… Read more »
No i’d tell her. If I didn’t I can only imagine the hilarity that would ensue. Would make for a decent rom-com plot.
I don’t know about that.
Whether someone’s number is 1 or 1000 I’m not too sure about the other person having some sort of right to know. Now if the other person asked then I think they deserve an honest answer (which might be what you mean) but beyond that I don’t think they owe anything.
Danny–I meant let her know that he’s planning on not having sex until engagement/marriage, not necessarily that he’s a virgin (although if he wants to mention that as a reason, that would make a lot of sense). I guess I read that comment differently. I read “don’t tell anyone you’re celibate” rather than “don’t tell anyone you’re a virgin.” I think you would owe it to tell me that we’d be waiting to have sex or I’d be confused, feel rejected, and hurt. Nothing wrong with waiting, at all. I just would like to know. Obviously he doesn’t owe it… Read more »
Thus, our shelves wind up filled with stuffs that we like, but that we don’t own time designed for.
@KKZ.. OK. I will plead guilty to over generalizing. My view stems from speaking to lots of married men as well as reading the scientific research. While I will not use “most” I would venture to say many many married men are unsatisfied with their sex lives. Just look at the Kennebunk scandal. In this this case, the majority of the men are married. The accused prostitute wrote in some of her online posting that these men we coming to her because they were not getting much sex with their wives. It just seems to me that a lot of… Read more »
And I apologize for flying off the handle a little bit yesterday, I was in an unusually testy mood and obviously was rubbed the wrong way by the tone of your comments. When it comes down to it, I think it’s hard to *measure* desire in a way that would really let us compare the levels between the genders. I think the fact that most men have more testosterone than most women makes them more expressive of desire, because testosterone is not a passive hormone, it demands action (go have sex, go look at p0rn, go jack off…NOW!). So that… Read more »
Hello KKZ: I’ve always enjoyed reading your posts. They are cheerful, well-written, and fair-minded, even if I might disagree with a point you were making at the time. “…it’s rare for a couple to be having great sex right up until they get married, then the wife turns off the faucet completely and BAM sexless marriage.” I know I’m not all men, and this is anecdotal, but this was my experience. We had very good sex, and we had that sex with satisfying frequency. We got married, and it was- BAM. If I tried to talk about issues of intimacy… Read more »
As a pro-Domme, almost my entire client base is men in their 40s and 50s who are in sexless marriages, are pissed off at their wives, harbor incredibly deep, powerful resentment, and feel like they’ve been shut down and told that their sexuality and their kinks/fetishes are repulsive. That’s just an observation, not analysis. If my partner’s and my libidos are mis-matched, it’s okay for him find a lover who can meet the needs that I’m unable or unwilling to meet. The same goes for me. Not without working through jealousy, insecurity and fear. Non-monogamy is not a magic pill… Read more »
@CmE
“..Marriage? Don’t be a fool, that’s gambling with the biggest decision of your life.”
It is not a gamble. There is a high degree of certainty that the sex is going to be lackluster, at best.
Real talk!
I meant that if you marry someone without having had sex with them it is a gamble as to whether or not their libido matches yours, and it is completely unknowable as to whether or not you are into one another. I never said it was a gamble with good odds, which is perhaps what you are getting at.
@CmE agreed! You don’t know what you’d be missing out on unless you test the waters. There’s some saying, “Why buy a car without the test drive,” that comes to mind here.
Yeah… which is why I’m not wild about the idea of waiting until marriage. But yeah that’s a good point. And it definitely wont be a romantic night if both partners are virgins.
@Jason
It would definitely be a goofy, short-lived experience. But you know what–that’s a great story for two people who are accomplishing a goal they’ve set for themselves. It wouldn’t be my decision, but kudos to the celibates.
I’m all about celibacy–it’s not something I subscribe to nor is it something that affects my life directly. The line I tend to draw with most of the “saving it til marriage” crowd is when people start preaching “your body is a temple,” “have some self-respect,” etc. Garbage.
@CmE… There is asymmetric information even if you have sex before marriage. Women know better what their real intentions are with respect to sex in a marriage. Only after marriage does this come out. Look, nearly one third of marriages are sexless in America. The other two thirds are probably just “average” with a small percentage “above average.” Time and time again I hear and read where women state their husbands cannot give them good sex. OK. Fine. But, did not she know this BEFORE they got married? If she did, and I am convinced most women know, then what… Read more »
It’s pretty obvious you’ve been burned. Sorry to hear that. You have a lot of “Most” comments in here, so I’m gonna throw a few more back atcha. Most women do not go into marriage with an agenda or an intention to create a sexless marriage. Most women do want sex, but desire, ability and enthusiasm can wax and wane over time, on both partners’ ends. A lot of the time, a sexless marriage is a symptom of other problems in the relationship that aren’t directly about sex but do influence sex drives and intimacy. Most women who complain about… Read more »
Expanding – sometimes a sexless marriage CAN be because of a true mismatch of libidos. Sometimes a marriage can start out with both partners being compatible, but age, medication, stress, depression, etc. can affect the compatibility over time. In my experience, it’s rare for a couple to be having great sex right up until they get married, then the wife turns off the faucet completely and BAM sexless marriage. In my experience, sexless marriages happen over time, not instantaneously. I was the low-libido partner for a long time. It only went on as long as it did because I was… Read more »
“And I think I might have grown out of that stage where you want to have sex with every hot girl you see.” – this stops at a certain age? Really? “There’s something to look forward to.” – indeed there is. You realize that you only live for so long and your sex rank, no matter how badass you are, probably starts to decline in your mid-50s? You only have so long to sleep with amazing women. I’m with one now and nothing, nothing compares to the pleasure of going home to another session of world-rocking sex. What exactly are… Read more »
Yes, really, I don’t want to have sex with every hot girl I see (anymore) and it stems (in part) from the fact that I may not even like em. And I mean that I may not like them as a person. I don’t want to spend time with people I don’t like, and something that intimate would just make it worse.
But no, I’m not necessarily waiting for marriage.
@CmE I think your response adds to the argument he’s making here:
“We live in a society where to be virgin and male is strange and people (men, especially) wonder if there’s something wrong with you, forgetting that it could simply be a matter of choice.”
It’s that simple, “a matter of choice.” Anyone trying to push their experience with male sexuality on someone who has explicitly stated they have chosen celibacy to deter them away from that choice seems fit under what this article is addressing.
I understand, but it’s hardly an informed choice. I mean, he doesn’t actually know what he’s missing out on, though I respect the choice if sleeping with sexy awesome women is something that just doesn’t appeal for whatever reason.
That’s definitely the issue I’m facing: choosing to wait til ??? to do it without knowing it experientially. Which is probably why you might see “sexy woman” and infer “awesome” whereas i definitely can’t infer that by looks or the one adjective of sexy. I’m wise to the halo effect.
Actually, I see “sexy” and see “sexy”, and then go over and find out if they’re an awesome person as well. Obviously neither is any good without the other. Sleeping with entitlement princess b**ches doesn’t appeal to me either.
It’s interesting that you feel it necessary to provide a ‘backstory’ involving religious and medical reasons why you are still a virgin. Not doubting its truth, but it seems as if you find it necessary to separate yourself from guys who just never found anyone with whom they felt a mutual sexual attraction.
“Yeah, yeah, I had a girlfriend, but she had these issues, see…..”
Definitely not defending anything. Just telling my story.
I’m gonna have to back Jason up here. I don’t understand how there can be critiques as to why he provided a backstory. He’s simply saying (and I paraphrase): “I’m a virgin. Here’s why. This is the feedback I’ve gotten in my personal experience. Why is there so much scandal behind male virginity (by choice)?”
Thanks for sharing this, Jason.
No problem, Kaleb. Thanks for the support.
He could have simply said “I’m a virgin. By choice.”. But his backstory suggests that it was really because of circumstances outside his control. My point is that there is also a lot of prejudice against guys who just never found anyone. The medical and religious reasons Jason quotes sort of suggest that his own situation should somehow be viewed differently from that of guys who just never had a girlfriend at all. Is being a virgin by choice somehow superior to being a virgin by chance?
Unfortunately, once you bring that up people wonder why the hell would you choose to not have sex? Isn’t it just lovely how they skip right to presuming that you must not be having sex only because you have made the choice to not have sex, regardless of the actual circumstances? I will say this though. When men just assume that you’re not a virgin, it’s A LOT better than when they find out that you’re a virgin. And some girls, when you tell them that you are celibate, they revere you, but you probably won’t get to have sex… Read more »
Sorry dude, complete opposite when it comes to girls for me. It’s fascinating to them it seems. Some don’t believe me at first, but it usually ends up with a “good for you” type reply.
Lucky you dude. And that’s what it comes down to. Luck in regards to what types of women one comes across.
Up until about 3 months ago I would have asked where you were crossing paths with such girls.
Yeah I am pretty fortunate ’cause I know there are girls out there who’d probably put me on PBS or TLC and just throw questions at me for an hour while murmuring among themselves that something must be wrong with me haha
@Danny… “……..while women on the other hand go into the “what’s wrong with you?”, “are you gay?”, “you’re lying”, “you are so not a virgin.” Yes, that was my experience as well. My first sexual experience was at age 21 while in college. After being celibate for many years (5) preceding meeting my now ex wife, I was celibate. My ex wife asked me many of these questions. Of course little did I know I was signing up for a mostly sexless. marriage. My advice to you is to: AVOID women with a lot of sexual partners. I know it… Read more »
Sorry. Advice is for Jason Henry.
I’m sort of on your wavelength there with regards to number of partners. It’s a bit intimidating when I think about me being with someone who’s had a decent amount of experience. But I don’t want to fall into the trap of insecurity. And if she belittles me (or whatever issues arise), just leave right? That’s easy enough.
Now come on Jules. I certainly can see why your dealings with such women would sour your view of women but I don’t think we can make a blanket judgment that women with high numbers are bad news in this regard can we? However, it is important that you seek a woman with very limited sexual experience. I’d say it’s important to seek women that don’t act like such jerks (yeah I want to say another word because frankly it would be fitting but if I do all the folks that don’t mind calling guys dicks will get up in… Read more »
Yes, I stand by what I wrote. Also, most women just do not care about a guys sexual history. Only we men really care about it. Social conditioning I suppose? I don’t know. Many women will marry a man even if she knew he had been with a 1000 women. A woman with a high number of partners is likely to have already done a lot of casual sex and various sex acts. So, when she gets this virgin, who is inexperienced, I find it hard to believe she will have much sexual enthusiasm. People want to argue that it… Read more »
I am an unabashed slut who’s had a lot of sexual partners – but fewer, interestingly, now that I practice polyamory. I think my attentions are more focused. Anyway, I think it would be a real mistake to count out sexually experienced women as potential good partners for a man who’s a virgin. Worried she’ll get bored with you, or find your “lack of skill” doesn’t fulfill her desires? TELL HER. The ability to have honest communication, especially when it’s about something difficult or scary, is more important to good sex than any permutation of penis-in-vagina maneuvers. For my part,… Read more »
I haven’t noticed any correlation between libido and number of partners–it’s waxed and waned based on very different factors. And the more partners I’ve had, the more interested I am in monogamy. I’ve had two periods in my life where I slept around. One was towards the end of college and getting caught up in hook-up culture for a little bit. The other was rebounding after a sad breakup. With both, it was somewhat exciting at first, but I quickly found it unsatisfying (more quickly the second time). As I’ve mentioned in another thread, the main factors of the few… Read more »