Today something amazing happened. Today, across all my social media platforms I began seeing real change take place. The stigma around sexual assault is that it has always hidden in the dark, in the unknown, and in the place where no one speaks about it. Today that all changed. On social media, before the sun had even risen, thousands of women started posting a simple phrase, “Me too”. And while it isn’t a complex sentence, what it stands for is anything but simple. Women are posting this eye-opening phrase in order to spread awareness that they, too, were victims of sexual assault and harassment. Soon, the floodgates were opened and women who had hidden their secret in the dark for years were empowered and voicing what they had been through. Conversations were being started through various platforms, other women were posting “Me too” in solidarity, and, it seemed, the world was getting a little brighter.
And then along came man. A friend of mine linked me to a comment on his Facebook timeline in which a fellow male had posted “Pointing out that men can also be at the receiving end of sexual harassment. Accused of displaying toxic masculinity. Clearly, there is room for men’s activism in today’s society. “. Lack of coherent sentences aside, it seems that this individual is trying to shift the narrative to male oppression…and that is the moment that my friend and I could no longer stomach it.
Men. Gather round, take a knee, drink water, and listen up. I’m about to dole out some life advice. Not everything has to be about us. Again, not everything has to be about us. One more time for those of you in the back, not everything has to be about us. Men have certainly been the victims of sexual and domestic violence, no one is disputing that. In fact, it would be wrong to dispute that. Those men should seek out help for what they’ve been through. They should seek out the appropriate forums to speak about their experiences. Unfortunately, this forum isn’t that. This is a forum for women to feel safe coming forward to discuss (in the words of my friend’s amazing wife) “the painful, exhausting, daily experience of being in a female body in today’s world”.
Instead of trying to interject with our own grievances, what we should be doing is asking “How can I support?” Instead of trying to qualify every situation, or worse, minimize it, we should be lending our ears and assistance. We are the sidekicks in this situation and we have to stop trying to quarterback it. We are not, nor should we be leading this fight, but every good fight needs tons of support. We are that support.
I’ve been asking “How can I support?” for twenty-four hours now, and the answers have been amazing and eye-opening; so from this moment on #IWill begin speaking out when I see acts of sexual assault or harassment. #IWill change the channel or close the article when I see something sexually degrading toward women. #IWill educate those around me about using phrases like “You should smile more.”. And most importantly, #IWill continue to ask how I can support during this brutal fight to end sexual violence against women.
#IWill challenge all of you to do the same. And to the man whom I mentioned earlier: this movement isn’t about you, sir, but maybe it should be.
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Photo: Pixabay
Thank you for this and I 100 percent agree with you! I was searching for an article that I could point other men to, and I’m glad I came to GMP first. The accountability piece is huge, and I wonder if a major a contributor is that some men just don’t have good male friends, and I don’t just mean drinking buddies, I mean loving, trusting relationships with men. I’m going to share this on social media and suggest that all men take a pledge publicly to women. I was going to use the hashtag #iPromise, but #IWill gets there… Read more »