These are comments by Danny, Randy Strauss, Flying Kal, and Lars Fisher on the post “A Letter to My Two Sons and Other Young Men“.
Danny said:
When it comes to being interested in something make sure it is something that YOU want. Don’t engage in an activity because you think it will get you attention. Don’t do something because other people say you should do it. Don’t abide by other people’s standards of what a man it. Don’t do it for others, do it for yourself.
Randy Strauss said:
That was wonderfully stated, Dr. Petrou. I’ll second Danny’s addition. Don’t do things you dislike or know are wrong just to fit in.
Flying Kal said:
Don’t take for granted that anyone will be privilegied or (feel) entitled to anything based on their gender alone.
There are many situations in life where roles are reversed.
Also, be the one to stand up and say stop.
But not only on behalf or to the benefit of others, but even more important when wrong are done to yourself.
Lars Fisher said:
I think no. 6 is possible the most important of all the points. But exclusively in terms of (the male) gender. Entitlement is just not attractive — at all — no matter who you are. If you have privilege is some form or context (and very few people do not), you’d do well to reflect on your privilege and make sure you do not let it feed a sense of entitlement.
Se classic example to illustrate this is probably the enormous sense of entitlement that some young, wealthy people can develop if no-one is there to guide them. But there’s certainly people from all walks of life — men and women — who are infected with this.
As for the specific case of entitlement and male privilege — well, there *are* privileges that men have, and it *is* a good idea to look at yourself and make sure you’re not feeling entitled. That does not mean that all men have an awful sense of entitlement, or that all men are bad or are abusing privileges. It just means that it’s something young men should look out for – because when it happens, it’s not pretty.
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Photo credit: Flickr / Zdenko Zivkovic
If you are some guy hanging out on the street, don’t call out to strange women walking by: ” Anyang Say-yoh!” (I am not Korean!)….I let that one go…[homeless guy on the street]…
I don’t know know you nor do I want to talk to you…nor do I want to give you any spare change…
“As for the specific case of entitlement and male privilege — well, there *are* privileges that men have” I would really like to know what privileges that MEN as a group have, think about for a second, when people type that it means ALL men have those privileges and women (opposite of men) don’t have. For the life of me I can’t think of a single priv that inner city black men have. Sorry can’t even think of ONE. Because if inner city black men don’t have a priv, the it isn’t a priv that MEN as a group have.… Read more »
“I think no. 6 is possible the most important of all the points. But exclusively in terms of (the male) gender. Entitlement is just not attractive — at all — no matter who you are. If you have privilege is some form or context (and very few people do not), you’d do well to reflect on your privilege and make sure you do not let it feed a sense of entitlement.”
Yeah cuz female entitlement is oh so attractive?! How is it exclusive?
I’ve been having second thoughts lately, about this site and its (as I often perceive it) frequent lecturing about the virtues of non-entitlement.
Isn’t a lecturing about other people’s lifes and their assumed entitlement, also a form of entitlement? Or perhaps “gender-splaining”?
Well some people do have entitlement that they base upon what THEY think a man or a woman should be, eg a man expecting his wife to cook him dinner, a woman expecting a man to spoil her rotten with gifts but not all men n women do this. I just can’t figure out how an entitled woman wouldn’t be unattractive? They are ugly as sin to me, I am not a wallet nor a meatshield.
Archy:
I was thinking along the line of something like this: We are told more and more frequently, on this and other sites as well as IRL, how we as men should check our privileges and entitlement. What do they know about my situation that they can make assumptions and blanket statements about my feelings?