“We all are guilty of expressing raw emotion in an unproductive manner–especially in intimate relationships”

This is a comment by Caitlin on the post “How to Deal with a Psycho Bitch from Hell“.

Caitlin points out how some she feels like some people have missed the point and how this article is about how we all act irrational and how we should face that when we or someone we love is volcano-ing. 

Caitlin said:

It seems that this article is triggering reactions from people’s sensitive egos, and causing them to miss the point (men and women). This article is not about extreme situations involving abusive relationships, and it is also not suggesting that abuse is okay.

When I read this article it reminded me of the saying “you only hurt the ones you love” and I believe that both men and women alike are guilty of expressing raw emotion in an unproductive manner – i.e. like a psycho bitch – especially in intimate relationships. There is a sense of safety in this that causes people to express themselves differently than they would with a stranger (like most emotions).

The theme of this article hinges on the fact that, as a human being with no control over other people, you can only be responsible for your own actions. Additionally, this website in its entirety is predominantly directed towards a male audience. It makes sense then, that an article of this nature would be a discussion of how men can react more productively to a woman who is emotionally out of control, not vice versa. It is not to imply that men are never emotionally out of control, or that men are always responsible. It is a self-help perspective for a simplified version of a very common situation that men face with women. Similarly, on a website or blog that is predominantly directed towards a female audience, I am sure you could find an article titled something along the lines of “How to deal with arrogant assholes from hell” with an article outlining how women can better compose themselves in heated situations with men, to be better listeners, more compassionate, etc. This article would also not be condoning abuse or implying that women are responsible for the mistreatment that they receive. It would be a self-help perspective of a very common situation that women face with men.

In my experience, male or female, psycho opposition or not, it is imperative as a human being to really remember that you cannot be responsible for anyone’s actions but your own. I think the take-home message here should be that instead of trading blame around like a hot potato, everyone should take a look at themselves and question if their actions and emotions are serving them in a positive way? If faced with a situation like this, is there a way I could react that would better serve my own peace and happiness?

It’s easy to play the victim. Empower yourself by asking, “What can I do?”

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  1. Caitlin, you seem very analytic and logical. If I were not an old geezer and were not already married to a wonderful woman for 40+ years, I’d be looking for a woman like you.

  2. I think the anger that came from this series of posts wasn’t so much the idea that women should not be offered understanding from men but maybe from the way that message was delivered.

    The original post started off stating there was a universal lack of empathy for women who are acting in rage. Well that’s not entirely true as was pointed out in the comment sections of those posts.

    It comes back to point that when trying to extend help, compassion, understanding, or what have you to one group is there a need to deny the current reality (or deny the current reality of another group)? I’ll be the first to agree that men extending compassion and understanding to women would do a lot of good. But I’m not going to pretend that women are in some (unique?) position of being denied those things in the first place.

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