Honesty, Yeah That’s an Action Word, Too

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About Lisa Hickey

Lisa Hickey is CEO of Good Men Media Inc. and publisher of the Good Men Project. "I like to create things that capture the imagination of the general public and become part of the popular culture for years to come." Connect with her on Twitter.

Comments

  1. I’m with you on that; honesty is all about what you do. “Do what you say, say what you do”.

    This is why integrity is, to me, such a crucial value.

  2. Roger Durham says:

    With you, Lisa – honesty – integrity – congruence. It’s all about “living believably”. And I’m with that!

  3. In my experience, men don’t talk about their feelings/emotions because men don’t talk about their feelings/emotions; and when we were boys we didn’t learn what emotions were allowed to be talked about by MEN. Hence, a crazy cycle of unknowing. Oh, I forgot, men sure as heck DO talk about how angry they feel, and WHAT that anger is inviting them to do to. ‘Why I’d like to knock his….’ Let’s be fair and not pretend this emotional minefield wasn’t there when we were kids. In our (boy-to-men) minds, feelings (especially the squishy ones) are associated with our moms, girls, and everything feminine. We were just interested in getting around their feelings so more ACTION could commence! Once an adult, women-who had an abundance of ‘teachers’ about emotions since they could crawl-expect us to be on par, and when were not, pick on us like school-yard bullies: ‘Nah nah, you don’t know what love is…’ A maxim: Children Learn What They Live’ holds very true in this case IMHonestO.

    • Lisa Hickey says:

      When thinking about this post, the word “Action Hero” kept coming to mind. I think it’s fine to acknowledge that sometimes “feelings” make you want to act a certain way. If I’m angry, I want to lash out. But I’ve never found that talking about that feeling actually helped. What I found was to use that energy in some unexpected, positive way — for good, not bad — is a much better choice.

      I’m all for action. Be an Action Hero, one with integrity, and I’m with you all the way.

  4. anonymoose says:

    Yes, let’s not worry your pretty little head about having to actually think about what you say before you open your mouth. Or is this just throwing a distraction about being caught in a lie once too often?

  5. I disagree. Lying is an action of its own. Lying may be less serious than other ways people harm each other, but it can hurt people too.

    Many people who have been cheated on talk about how what hurt them the most was the lying afterwards. They could understand why someone would be sexually unfaithful, but not why they would lie about it. Lying can make people feel like they are crazy. It destroys trust and love. It is much easier to imagine forgiving someone who immediately owned up than someone who added lies to the situation. Sometimes lying about an affair is a way to go on having it.

    Similarly, if you can’t pay money you’ve promised, telling the person you’re having problems before the money is due is better than pretending you’re about to pay after the due date. If you make a medical/business/political decision that harms someone and then lie about it, the lie adds more harm and makes the person you lie to angrier.

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