Watch a teenage boy on the phone with his girlfriend cross the line from friendly and concerned to controlling and abusive.
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Abuse is tricky. It can masquerade as love. Adults in abusive relationships often have a hard time recognizing abusive behavior, particularly because abusive partners deny it and call it something else. Teens in what may be their first real relationship have an even harder time, because they have no frame of reference for abuse and are also fearful of losing their “first love.”
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Teen dating violence is a serious problem that, by extension, involves 20% of high school students and leaves both perpetrators and victims vulnerable to repetition in their future relationships. Recent statisics from the CDC indicate that:
One in 10 high school students has experienced physical violence from a dating partner in the past year.
Among adult victims of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, 22.4% of women and 15.0% of men first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age.
Across studies, 15-40% of youth report perpetrating some form of violence towards a dating partner.
Risk factors for teen dating violence include individual, peer, partner, parent, and neighborhood influences.
Perpetrating dating violence in adolescence increases the risk of perpetrating violence toward a partner in adulthood.
Exposure to dating violence significantly affects a range of mental and physical health problems.
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Abuse is tricky. It can masquerade as love.
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This short PSA from loveisrespect, a collaboration between Break the Cycle and the National Dating Abuse Helpline, draws a line down the middle of the screen and makes it clear when the boyfriend crosses from friendly, casual, and concerned to controlling, suspicious, and possessive. He ends by shouting powerful, intimidating words that can cause a young girl to question her own instincts.
“No. I’m just looking out for you. I love you. If you loved me, you’d be hanging out with me.”
In another set of videos, loveisrespect’s youth leaders show that “no matter what you think being ‘in love’ means, there’s only one thing that love equals: respect. Patience, honesty, trust, communication and mutual respect between you and your partner are what love really is.”
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If you have a teenager, please take 60 seconds to share this video with your child. It could make the difference between a first relationship to treasure and remember or one your child would rather forget.
Photo—loveisrespect/YouTube