Awaiting Vesuvius

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About Jackie Summers

Jackie Summers is an author and entrepreneur. His blog F*cking in Brooklyn chronicles his quest to become a person worthy of love. His company, Jack From Brooklyn, Inc. houses his creative and entrepreneurial enterprises. Follow him on Twitter @jackfrombkln and friend him on Facebook

Comments

  1. “You know I would never violate your privacy. But I was on Craigslist last week trying to leave you one of our secret messages. Before I ask you to open your email, is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

    Huh? Didn’t you agree on “mutual non-disclosure”? Isn’t it her prerogative to have something else going on on the side if that’s what you agreed upon? And how do you just discover this posting without actually browsing the casual encounters or platonic sections of craigslist yourself?

    • Reread; by this time we’d been mutually exclusive for over two years.

      JFB

      • Sorry, it just wasn’t clear from what you had written; I took “from serial dater to exclusivity” to mean that you simply stopped dating other people, not that the two of you sat down and renegotiated the terms of your relationship.

        But really, how did you just happen to get lost on Craigslist and go from “antiques” all the way to “misc romance” without being suspicious or skeptical about the state of your relationship? If it’s that your partner posted the ad using an email that you had access to, then it doesn’t seem like she was trying to cuckold you so much as get you to be the one to end the relationship.

  2. This was a well-told story. If only you’d met someone living closeby for whom you felt moved to fly in tulips from France! (Although I think that’s setting the relationship bar pretty high for both of you).

  3. pillowinhell says:

    That’s a very well written story, wish it could have had a better ending for you though….any thoughts on why people need to see a relationship to the bitter end though?

    • Pillow, I’ve many, many thoughts on why people–why I–hold on until the last. A subject for another day perhaps? It’s too complex to explore in a comment.

      JFB

  4. Perhaps it’s because you know that sometimes, it’s possible for a relationship to survive Vesuvius?

    My partner and I survived our first eruption about five years in. We’ve weathered two more since then. We just celebrated our 13th anniversary, and I do not anticipate a breakup in our future.

    I hope you find someone with whom you can weather the eruptions, because I personally believe that’s the key to lasting happiness.

  5. I agree with this post. Never wait until it’s too late to take a step back. But then again, it’s never really “too late” just another lesson learned.

    One thing I didn’t think was necessary: going through her email. Yes the two of you lived miles apart, but to have that need to invade your partner’s personal space, I think that’s too much.

    • Michael says:

      I was left after 17 years of marriage to a woman who had an affair with someone, communicating often on email while she ignored our children and maintained an air of “nothing is wrong.” Sometimes privacy is overrated when considered against deceit.

      Is it really everyone’s right to lie? I should have every opportunity to be with someone else if my partner has decided to do so, rather than it being kept a secret so one of us is honest and picking up clues, feeling consciously or sub-consciously uneasy, while the other is having an affair, and hiding the truth.

  6. Uzi Peretz says:

    One of my best mates is stuck in a 25 year marriage. It’d be okay if he didn’t love her but he hardly even likes her anymore. They married young, grew apart and never had much in common (you know; the usual;).

    When both people are too scared to leave, the relationship really is like a volcano and they all erupt eventually.

    Good story! Thanks for sharing. :)

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