Does Sharing a Name Really Mean Anything?

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  1. My husband offered to take my name when we got married…I thought that was so sweet of him…eventually we decided to keep our own last names, the same ones on our grad school diplomas….I felt that it was important to keep what each individual earned under one’s own name….I think those diplomas and separate names were important to me in keeping our own identities and to prevent me from becoming a totally dependent housewife and just yes-sing my hubby all the time….

    I have seen quite a few of my GFs obliterate themselves under the guise of marriage….some of them are divorced now….but, yes, taking the man’s name is quite the loaded decision for a woman….

  2. I have a pretty weird, unusual last name which I hated as a kid because I was teased constantly about it. My mother always consoled me by telling me that when I grew up, I would get married and I could change it. When I imagined my future husband, I would think about what cool last name he might have.

    Ironically, I’m in my 40′s now and never married, and I’m stuck with the same cruddy last name I was born with, sigh! I thought of changing it from time to time, but don’t want to hurt my Dad’s feelings. My boyfriend has a totally normal, common surname which I would love to take, but at this point, if we ever get married, it would seem a bit silly to change my name to his. I may be almost 50 by the time we get around to marriage, if ever. A 50 year old women changing her name like a blushing young bride? Hard to imagine, Also complicated professionally, since everyone knows me by my weird last name (which is memorable, at least).

  3. “There are about 330 million people in this country, which means there are at least 165 million ways to be a married couple.”

    Really love this.

  4. Why not have waited for her to bring it up? It’s her choice after all. Glad that you realised that you imposed on her but as she had to make the choice, you really should have waited for her to think about her options and it would be for her to discuss with you, not the other way around

  5. My theory is “better last name wins” regardless of gender, if a Bird marries a Belcher, they both become Bird. If a Gross marries a Erickson, they both become Erickson. Soon, we could eliminate the truly horrid last names.

    That said, I hyphenated with my husband’s last name, because I want to share a last name with my children, and with him, and his last name means a lot to him. I wish he’d been willing to hyphenate my name with his, but he wasn’t, and that’s alright with me. I wanted to keep my own last name because my name is alliterative and I’ve always liked that.


  1. [...] by: Role/Reboot AND The Good Men Project When I married my current wife, Joy, more than six years ago, I asked her to take my last name. I [...]

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