Inoculated Against Divorce

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About Brian K. Blickenstaff

Brian holds degrees in writing and geography. His nonfiction has appeared in Norman Einstein's Sports and Rocket Science Monthly and Conte, among other publications. Twitter: BKBlick.

Comments

  1. Dcn. Channing Fell says:

    I applaud the “risk” and investment in your marriage. Our society has changed a lot. Once upon a time, the priest who baptized you also prepared you for marriage… and knew you both from the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Catechism, etc… He might have even said.. “Well, I was wondering when you would ask her to marry you!” Today, we have people we may rarely see in Mass show up wanting to book the hall. When they hear about marriage prep, they “shop around” for the easiest/quickest… It’s just human nature… But, you cannot “outgive” God. If you GIVE to your spouse as you give to God, you will get more in return…

  2. Divorce doesn’t seem so bad when you consider how the other 50% of marriages end.

  3. Yeah, but all the effort in premarriage counseling doesn’t mean much when your wife says “oh, I was lying when I did that”

  4. Brian-

    I enjoy the insite and depth you shared on your relationship. I think its a positive to even be willing to write publicly about something so private. I also feel when we talk to each other, be it our partners or our best friends, grounding our conversations a a certain perspective helps to achieve a more meaningful dialogue. Sometimes religion is a great common ground. Other times maybe a shared love of mechanics works. Overall, I felt like this is a great window into your life & your soul. Many thanks for the piece.

    -Jeffrey

  5. Yes, premarital counseling is so important at the outset of a marriage, yet the work is just beginning. The momentum of healthy communication must be maintained.

  6. One reason I think marriages end these days really quickly is the vastly different expectations people have coming into them.

    I know for myself, I thought having a wife meant getting the similar behaviors that my mom displayed. Cooking, cleaning, and care taking. It wasn’t until college and my first live in girlfriend that I was very immediately schooled… your partner is not your mom. She did not give birth to you… she does not love you unconditionally as much as your mom, you can’t expect it of her… so clean up your own damn mess. Ha, ha. Lesson learned.

    Young women are who the ‘partnership of equals’ societal message has been very much driven at by feminists and their mothers who did have to toil in obscurity with toilet brush in hand. Contrast this with my upbringing which led me to believe women had a gene that liked to clean and cook. Turns out that was really just a bunch of lies. No one likes scrubbing floors.

    We need to address young men and young women in how to be married far before they even find the person they marry. It takes a long time to understand these things and teaching it early might spare some unecessary arguments from happening.

    • SecondBeach says:

      How many threads are you going to post this on? All is shows that from the 3 billion women on the planet, you can get some conflicting opinions.

      Boring.

      • If you’re too stupid or too emasculated to even grasp how feminism has ruined the lives of both genders as illustrated by the factual content in the video, why are you even here? You should be at home eating paste and coloring with crayons. It requires iNTELLECTUAL HONESTY and a valid education to even understand the video.

        Your lack of common sense = boring.

  7. Brian,

    Thanks so much for this; I wish it had been around about a year ago, when my now-husband and I were prepping to get married. I am Catholic (sometimes-practicing) and he is practicing (he plays in the worship band every Sunday) non-demoninational Christian. Catholic premarital counseling seriously frightened him, but mostly because he had an innate distrust of the Catholic Church and all that it stands for. He also felt like, well, why does some priest, who has no idea about marriage, get to tell me about what *I* should be doing? All the reasoning in the world didn’t work, so we skipped it. His minister uncle married us in a town-owned chapel. I didn’t fight it because he’s much more involved in his church life than I am in mine. Still, I was a little down about it.

    A couple months before our wedding, a very Catholic friend gave us a gift: 3 sessions of Natural Family Planning classes, at my church. My husband had no choice but to attend! And to his astonishment, not only was it not a bunch of mystical Catholic mumbo-jumbo, a lot of it made sense to him. That NFP class kind of served as our version of premarital counseling, even though it isn’t billed as such, and I think we’re a much stronger, more loving couple now than we ever were before.

    Lesson: think what you will of us crazy Catholics (and believe me, I’ve had plenty of not-so-nice thoughts of my own), but one thing we know how to do is prepare people for strong, meaningful marriages.

  8. Men should never be fooled by the gentle doe-eyed promises of a woman that she will never hurt or back stab a lover or husband. This talk of communications is mostly nonsense. The anti-male misandry laws must change first.

    Healthy Communication only goes so far: guess what men? The Divorce/Family Courts are biased against you since you are male. The Criminal Courts are biased against you since you are male. Marriage version 2.0 is a dangerous gamble for men. Healthy Communications doesn’t keep you from a future divorce that demands you be an indentured financial slave to your ex-wife for life regardless of how long you were married. Many women who plan divorce first call in a false domestic violence claim that you raped or beat her, and threatened the kids. Being out of work and broke is no excuse for not paying your ex-wife/girlfriend child support. Unable to pay can still land you in jail. Still, society tells men to ‘Man-up!” and get married to serve the interests of women. It is time for all men to boycott marriage, ghost away from women/society/government that has knifed us, and to go our own way (MGTOW).

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