Co-authors and ex-spouses Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond talk to The Good Men Project about working toward the best outcome for the family.
There’s no EASY way to know when to leave, but there is an easier way.
There could be a happy divorce at the end of all of this.
Always ask for what you need. Your partner cannot read your mind. And that angry look your giving them may not convey what you’re hoping to convey. Talk about it. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
If we could balance out the misguided and harmful family court system in favor of a 50/50 cooperative parenting culture, we would have healthier kids. We would also see fewer wealthy bulldog divorce attorneys hawking their winning strategies. In a divorce, no one wins. But in divorce moms and dads should be considered equally.
Here are some ideas that can help you make the right decision for you.
I believe that all individuals are responsible for their own behavior and happiness.
Even as I was being asked to leave my family, to give my wife the divorce she was determined was going to make her happier, I was challenged to love them all through the dark times. My constant love, my unrelenting optimism, and hope kept all of us protected from the harsh potential of a contentious divorce.
Commit to avoiding the mistakes that only make things worse.
I have a bit of a mood problem. It seems that when my life gets really tough (bounced checks, trouble at work, arguments at home) I sometimes collapse into a depression.
The general mode of life with dad is positive and happy. I am *so* happy to have them on the days and nights I am afforded, that there is little room for complaints or nagging.
What I’ve got is my state of happiness and peace. I no longer fight with her about anything. I no longer ask her for anything. I keep my communications primarily with my kids. As far as I’m concerned, she’s no longer the superpower she was.
Secrets from a divorce attorney about finding peace in separation.
You can beat divorce – if you’re willing to do the work.
How do you reconcile being removed from the typical family Christmas? How do you deal with the 22 days a month that you have little or no contact with your children? How do you afford ANY Christmas presents when you’re struggling to buy gas?
It’s possible, but is it in the best interest of your kids?