Dear Ladies Who Are On The Fence About Whether Or Not to Dump The Guy Who’s Taking You For Granted: here’s what you should be hearing from the guy who’s worthy of your time. Maybe not right away, but within, say, 3-6 months. Otherwise, hit the “next” button. For the sake of both you and all the guys out there who are waiting for you to be single again.
1) I adore you. This isn’t about sex, this isn’t about desire. This is about how you make me glow whenever you walk into a room, glad that you just exist, whether I’m the guy beside you or just someone admiring you from twenty feet away.
2) You inspire me. I love how you’re living your life, what you’re devoting yourself to, how you’re spending your time, what path you’ve chosen, how you deal with the people around you.
3) I respect you. You’re the first person I think of when I want a serious opinion on something. Anything. From topics like “Am I being an asshole here?” to “Which is better, MadMen or Breaking Bad?”
4) I just love kissing you. Ok, so, years from now, if by some awful paragliding accident we both end up paralyzed and have no use of our lower extremities and can never get it on again, I’ll still feel pretty good about it as long as I can just kiss you as much as I want.
5) I don’t want to change you. Yes, there are some things about you that I don’t get. That I don’t love. But you’re you. And all the other stuff that comes with you, I would never want to lose. So I don’t want to disturb the equation. I want to keep it intact. And just help it grow.
6) I accept your drama. Sure, you’ve got some anger issues with your mom. Or dad. Or sister. Or job that you’re trying to get out of. I can handle that, even when it’s a bit exhausting. I even support it. None of us is drama-free, me especially. I respect that you’re fighting against something.
7) I’ve totally got the hots for you. As in: seriously, can we get these clothes off already? I’m dying here. We should really find our way to the nearest bedroom. Or kitchen. Or rooftop.
8. I love that you tell me off sometimes. Seriously. I may not always admit it, but I respect it. I’m full of bullshit sometimes, and I like to know you won’t take it. If I’m gonna have someone by my side, I better know she didn’t just fall for the first guy that came along, and she’ll keep holding me to my higher standards. I don’t want a pushover.
9. You’re on my mind. Constantly. Especially when I’m supposed to be thinking about something else. When I’m at work, giving a presentation, watching a movie with my buds. There you are, all in the middle of my shit, outta nowhere. And yet, I can’t help but smile.
10. You captivate me. You have my full attention. I’m not thinking about her. Or her. Or her. Just you. Oh, and that presentation I have this week. And my taxes that are due. But mostly just you.
11. I forgive you. The other day, you were completely crazy. Seriously, you went off the deep end about something. You blamed me for something I didn’t do, or didn’t actually say, or didn’t actually think. But hey, you’re human, you’re allowed a ‘gimme’ now & then. (As am I.) And look, with all the beauty you bring to my life, I’m still coming out way ahead.
12. I love you. Sorry to get all heavy on you, but it’s true. While the last guy you dated for three years could never say it, I’m telling you now: I love you. You’re wonderful. I want to be more like you. I want others to be more like you. I want whatever kids we might hypothetically have together to be like you. You’re my idea of a fantastic person. I want to help you be as ‘you’ as possible.
13. I can’t stop talking about you. You’re not some little secret I keep. Or hide. You’re my favorite thing on the planet. I told my mom about you before we even had our first date. I told my buddies about you immediately after our first date (didn’t wanna jinx it). You’re a story I could tell over and over and over again.
14. I see my future with you. Sure, I may not say this right away—I mean hopefully I won’t say this right away, for fear of scaring you off—but I’m thinking about it. We men, we can be planners, we can project, we can get ahead of ourselves. And me? I wanna get ahead of myself with you.
15. I just need to hold you. I may not always feel like having sex. I may not always feel like kissing. But I just need to be kinda near you. Be next to you. Be unable to lay away from you on the bed without wrapping myself around you. I don’t even understand it, frankly, but I do. So accept it, please. It’s something that something inside of me knows I need.
16. Thank you. For existing. For being you. For having your smile. For having the laugh that you do. For laughing at the things you do. For not laughing at the things you think are too stupid. For having a point of view and a strong sense of self. For wearing that amazing skirt the day I met you. For not wearing it when I introduced you to my mom. For having your standards. For getting pissed off when something matters. For showing your appreciation when you see beauty. For just existing. Seriously, I may never even get a chance with you, and if so, so be it. I’m just glad the universe made you. It makes me feel a lot better about the place I live in. But, barring that, come here please. I need to kiss you now. And for a while after that.
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You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
How to Lose a Guy Forever ……. | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything | ..3 Things You Didn’t Know He Wants in Bed | .12 Signs She’s Woman You Should Marry |
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Other articles by Mark Radcliffe:
What Someone is Actually Telling You When They Ghost You
17 Reasons I’m Still in Love With You
Don’t Fall in Love. Fly in Love
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Photo credit: iStock
Girls who can drive stick. Ya baby! My wife drives a stick. Yee Ha
It would be nice to reverse genders;0)
I’m a straight woman and I’d love to say all those things to my lover without sounding ‘too much’.
Well, I do say them anyway;0))
Where does “Whatever happens between us, you will not be the last woman I sleep with” rank?..
I think it’s at #FuckThatMotherFucker
Voxleo i agree!
Neither a man or woman can ben this perfect!
Girls keep dreamin’ and tellin’ you don’t want a badboy or whatever
You wanna call That, every movie music clip or somekind you all get the
Chills! Rollin’ from your chair at 50 shades! Please hahaha
This is what i think both sides need with little differences
Because your both in the relationship!
And these are things that women should be telling their boyfriends! (Except the part about wearing that skirt…)
This list is so dreamy. *-*
And it is probably going to be the reason why I am going end up with 178 cats by the time I hit 60.
Thanks, man, really. Thanks……not.
Gives me hope :’)
I consider myself lucky because of the presence of such a guy in my life who says all the sentences mentioned above. I love him.
Perhaps this article would get a little less backlash if it had been titled “16 things to express to your partner to keep your relationship alive.” The point is that there is a lot to be said for what is listed here, and these are frequently things that don’t get expressed enough once people grow complacent in their partnerships, leading to doubt and frustration where there used to be appreciation and joy, Remembering to make sure that your partner knows that you feel these things goes a long way towards preventing them feeling taken for granted, and that means all… Read more »
Beautifully written list. Too bad all of those incredible feelings don’t last once the honeymoon phase is over.
#17 — You’re out of tampons.
#18 – Let me get you some more.
#19 – And chocolate
“If you settle for les then you deserve, that is what you get”. I’ve me a man who gives me 10/10 on this list. I will never let him go as long as he’ll have me <3
The most important one of all is missing.
“NO”
All checked on my list ! 10 on 10 ! 😀
Awesome list indeed! And the guy that does this will loose his girlfriend to the first bad boy that comes along. And the guy will not have a clue why.
The whole “bad boy” thing is a biological attraction to alpha males. By the time a woman is 25 or so, she usually gets tired of being disappointed by bad boys. I want a great guy who loves me and communicates it in words. Like the above. Good stuff.
Rubbish. I left a “bad boy” who constantly had eyes for others. He spoke a load of baloney but his actions said otherwise and he rarely walked his talk. Keep the “bad boys”, whatever bad boy really means. If boy means a man who ogles, verbally abuses, nitpicks over your appearance, takes your money and refuses to get off his lazy butt and work, give me a REAL man any day!
Totally an Ideal condition…
My man “copy pasted” the exact same 16 things n wrote it to me.. claiming to be his own words! I cant believe I stumbled upon this article today.
Incredible article! I’d add the following:
17. Sweetheart now that I’ve told the above, get down on your knees, open your mouth and let me send our future kids down that gorgeous throat of yours!
Yes, that is indeed all that matters for men. And no oral sex for her, to please her back after she pleased you, am I right? What good men America have! 😀
This is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. I lost my soulmate to cancer. We had an amazing love just like this for 29 years. I can tell you that at the end he said he loved my all throughout they day. Say it now, say it often…
My GF posted this on facebook and I read through it like a checklist. My immediate reaction was insecurity. Why did she post it? Is she trying to communicate with me about what im NOT doing? After calling her she told me I was reading too much into it, it was just a nice little romantic piece that she enjoyed. I think we as men get uptight about these articles because we like to fix things. I dont think you should read this like a checklist and feel insecure if you/your partner doesn’t do EVERYTHING on the list. If they… Read more »
It’s true. A man simply can not share his feelings with a woman (if he does, then it will only be a matter of time before he’s back on the market – single). Women are the worst at trying to give advice to men.
The author of this article should not give men this type of advice. Women have proven time and time, again, that they’ll do one thing and say another. They’ll say what’s socially acceptable but what they find attractive is just the opposite.
Whipped!
“4) I just love kissing you. Ok, so, years from now, if by some awful paragliding accident we both end up paralyzed and have no use of our lower extremities and can never get it on again, I’ll still feel pretty good about it as long as I can just kiss you as much as I want.” I’ll still feel “pretty good.” Really??? How about feel fucking SPECTACULAR that both of you would survive such a horrific accident TOGETHER and be there side by side for each other for a long road of recovery and transformation. Oh wait, sorry, I… Read more »
I always said all the above to my gf’s with genuine affection and I single. Being kind, loyal decent and honest gets you nowhere it seems…
It’s true. A man simply can not share his feelings with a woman (if he does, then it will only be a matter of time before he’s back on the market – single). Women are the worst at trying to give advice to men.
The author of this article should not give men this type of advice. Women have proven time and time, again, that they’ll do one thing and say another. They’ll say what’s socially acceptable but what they find attractive is just the opposite.
Because it is not only because you are good that your partner will be good for you back? You have to find someone compatible. And even with someone compatible, things can not work out… that is how relationships work. Of course it gets you to many wonderful places, you just have to be in the right place with the right person.
the next thing is
17) Honey, I must get a life apart from the above sixteen.
Just one woman’s point of view: if I heard any of these besides the usual “I love you” as he’s heading out the door, my marriage wouldn’t be floundering right now. And if a man ever does start saying/demonstrating these things to me, my head and heart would be his. I’m not fickle, far from it… But to some women, these concepts go a very long way and carry a lot of weight. I thought this article was excellent.
So you want a dog….. why don’t you said so ….
No serriously, what are the 16 things for girls then … ?
I am more interested in hearing female oppinions : )
The same things. And no, that would not make women dogs (nor bitches). It is just that you men believe respecting women and making them feel good is something bad, something that hurt you, something that humiliate you. We get it.
Wow, sexist much?