Lost: One Testicle

Sponsored Content

Premium Membership, The Good Men Project

About Joe Weinberg

Joe Weinberg is a PhD candidate at the University of Minnesota. He's as nerdy and geeky as can be, and is very proud of that fact.


  1. Well, will you feel better if the cancer comes back? Like more of a man if this time they have to radiate and pump toxic chemicals into you? Perhaps next time stricken with a more virolent strain and puking your guts out you will feel more manly.

    I suggest you “man up” and feel freaking grateful.

  2. Thank you for sharing your insights and feelings about your experience. There are a lot of people out there who will tell you what you are supposed to feel about things, whether you are a man or a woman. There seems to be an idea that if anyone has it worse than you, you have no right to express your feelings. Barbara Ehrenreich, who is female and whose cancer, I think, was more serious than yours wrote a whole book (Bright Sided) on what she felt was an unhealthy cultural requirement that she remain cheerful and positive during her treatment. So if things were really bad you probably wouldn’t be “excused from manliness” either. Our requirement that a man show only optimism and no fear is stronger. The first poster proved your point with the “man up” comment. Women had a platform on Oprah to talk about their fears, insecurities and so on, without having to “woman up.” I don’t know you and even if I did, I am not in your shoes and cannot judge what would be the “appropriate” emotional reaction. There are a lot of people who had it worse than you, but I don’t buy the argument that you are only entitled to ask for sympathy, express fear, being overwhelmed or anything else if you have it worse than other people. That assumes that there is a finite amount of compassion around to be given only to the worst cases. Unless you’re actually on your deathbed, you can pretty much always point to someone who has it worse, who would be a better candidate than you. That person deserves a lot of compassion, care and sympathy. That doesn’t mean you do not. So I agree with the first poster on one thing– don’t wish for something worse. You don’t need to be the worst case scenario to be deserving of compassion or allowed to express your needs.

  3. Paul Bennett says:

    It’s a shame the first comment was so hateful when Mr. Weinberg was being so honest about his thoughts and feelings. So many women claim they want men to be “emotionally available,” but then he writes something like this and gets told to “man up” by a woman who has a site dedicated to her menopause.

    Ms. Forrest, how would you feel if someone told YOU to “woman up” about going through menopause? Oh, yeah, nobody uses that term, yet you feel justified in telling Mr. Weinberg to “man up” because he writes an open, honest, heartfelt essay about his REAL feeling about cancer. Is it any wonder that so many men keep their feelings to themselves? It’s not machismo; it’s fear of ridicule from the likes of you.

    Thanks for sharing your experience and feelings, Mr. Weinberg.

  4. Jose Vizcarra says:

    Wait till you are stricken with a neuropsychological illness, like chronic depression, then you will not be deemed worthy of any compassion, pity maybe. If a man with cancer can’t get a break, a man with depression gets even less, people assume it’s not a real illness and you are just a wimp or making it all up. Worry ye not. You have done well, my friend.

    • Joe Weinberg says:

      Funny you should mention that. Depression, that is. I also suffer from that. It may be worthwhile to write about that too.
      Thanks for your comment

  5. The Bad Man says:

    You do deserve sympathy and you should accept it gracefully rather than putting up an aura of strength and diminishing your own experiences. It’s not a joke when a man feels pain.

  6. When you said ‘worse’ I initially assumed ‘both testicles’.

Speak Your Mind