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About Tom Matlack

Tom Matlack is the co-founder of The Good Men Project. He has a 18-year-old daughter and 16- and 7-year-old sons. His wife, Elena, is the love of his life. Follow him on Twitter @TMatlack.


  1. I try to visualize the assholes plaguing me in pink ballet tutus made of taffeta. Then I remember that if they were any good, I’d be admiring them, not putting them into tutus.

  2. I always tell myself “it will end”…

  3. I prefer to reflect on my good fortune more than bang myself up over failures. I had plenty of beating myself up in my first 30 years, and if I ever get low on humility, I can always call my dad. ;^)

    Today I focus on the positive and ask myself what can I do to help my wife, my friends, my neighbors, and my team (and not always in that order, either). Being a good husband, a servant leader, a valued mentor, a trusted advisor, and a true friend, is more and more important to me.

  4. In order for any self-talk to be of value, you need to talk to someone that can help. Enter your best self. You need to be able to bring to mind that image, and then have a heart to heart discussion about the challenges or problems you are facing. This is what I do, this is what I teach my clients and friends.

  5. The best pep talk I ever heard. Link on my name.

  6. I found it difficult to accept that you’re a winner. That even after you have survived hardship and trials and have come out ahead of those around you still you don’t realize that they’ve failed to engage life and are in fear of life and being. You won, and they never tried. “If you win, you’re the hero. I’m the One and you’re the zeros”. It’s like somewhere you walked out of hell and just by knowing that and doing so you win. Being the victor is still standing after the world does its best to obliterate you from being. Your victory is this awareness.

  7. Growing is knowing you made mistakes. Aging is not learning to accept them and move on.


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