Mike Sorenson and his wife had a life before their son Max was born. And much to their surprise, Max fit right in.
Every couple in the history of pregnancy has no doubt been relentlessly bombarded with the following comment:
“Man, your life is going to change!”
Every time I heard that I would have to fight the urge to belt that person upside the head with a sarcastic “Seriously? You think so?” Most of the time, however, I would simply smile and nod, politely agreeing with this nugget of obvious insight. Of course our lives were going to change—that’s pretty much a given when you’re introducing a miniature human being into your world that will be 100 percent dependent on you for it’s survival. There is a reason my wife and I waited until we were in our 30s to have a child. Our lives did change—a lot. What I didn’t expect was how much he would actually adapt to our routines as well.
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As a couple my wife and I are not exactly social butterflies, but we do get invited to a few parties, dinners, and gatherings throughout the year. I enjoy them far more than my better half does, but I believe we had both kind of accepted the fact we wouldn’t be doing much of that for quite a while. It’s just easier to stay home than get up and leave somewhere because your child is having a meltdown. However, when we got him home we found ourselves still itching to go out to dinner and attend parties without always pawning the baby off on our families. So, after the first couple weeks, we started packing up the diaper bag, bringing him along, and rolling the dice.
At two weeks he slept through lunch at a local brewpub. That was a good beer. At four weeks he was hanging out with us at trendy new Minneapolis eateries, sleeping soundly as the world buzzed on around him. At two months he was sitting on a rooftop for my sister-in-law’s birthday happy hour. With each trip out we became a little more confident and comfortable with it. At three months we rented a lake home in northern Minnesota for a weekend and – here’s where we get really crazy – we decided to bring our Wheaten Terrier along too. We loaded (and I do mean loaded) up the SUV and the four of us headed up north for some relaxation. Well, as much relaxation as can be had when you have a dog and a three month old. Both of our boys handled the trip amazingly well, sleeping most of the three-hour journey each direction. Mission accomplished.
At four and a half months we endured a whirlwind of events, and Max was a part of nearly all of them – and the truth is, he actually seems to really enjoy our little outings. One night a vendor of mine from work hosted a “Hangover” costume party (if you haven’t seen the movie you probably live under a rock and can disregard this section). I dressed up like Allen and Max was my Carlos. He sat, suspended in the Baby Bjorn watching people and soaking up the attention as we mingled. He was the hit of the party and never made a peep. The very next night we attended a baby shower for friends of ours that are expecting and Max came along for that as well—he slept through most of it, but even when he woke up he was pleasant and happy content to sit and watch all the people around him. It’s certainly different than it once was—instead of hanging out until the wee hours as we would have a couple years ago we are now the “one hour and out” people—but we still go. We get out of the house and Max gets adapted to new environments, activities and people.
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Now at over a year old, he has definitely settled into his routines and no longer sleeps through meals at restaurants or in the car. He wants to be constantly moving and entertained and it definitely makes for more challenging outings. However, we still haven’t thrown in the towel. We take him out for meals and still bring him to friends’ gatherings. In fact now our friends have kids and it has helped him socialize with other little ones.
My dad didn’t give me a lot of advice while he was alive, but he did tell me shortly before Max was born that in order to be happy as a parent you have to make your children fit your life, not the other way around. Now, that may sound terrible in this modern era of “kids-first-no-matter-what” parenting, but I think he was right. What we’re discovering, is that the more we expose him to, the more we continue to live our lives as we normally would, the more we are able to enjoy life as well. We are happier parents because of it and hopefully he is a happier, more well-rounded little man.