What’s a Guy to Do?

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About Tom Matlack

Tom Matlack is the co-founder of The Good Men Project. He has a 18-year-old daughter and 16- and 7-year-old sons. His wife, Elena, is the love of his life. Follow him on Twitter @TMatlack.


  1. “It’s about men doing their part at home. If only we had paternal leave and men would change more diapers the world would be a better and safer place for women.”

    Not sure where you got this? I got the opinion that everyone helping out at home and everyone having a balanced work-life with a career that allows them to have children could be a great thing?

    “The question I am often asked is: where does that leave men? From my limited data set, we are pretty much screwed. Not that we aren’t still the leaders of the free world and dominate in the positions of economic power. But in terms of the thought leadership on gender, which is what I have spent the last three years thinking and writing about, we are getting a raw deal.”

    Screwed how though?

    “Feminist bloggers went nuts. Amanda Marcotte complained on the front page of Slate that I was a sexist pig because by saying that my wife looks beautiful first thing in the morning, I was implying that all women should look naturally beautiful.”

    Amanda Marcotte has no right lecturing anyone over sexism after her misandrist comments not to mention rape apologia regarding a male who was raped in his sleep. Disregard her insults.

    From one of hte articles re:Makeup
    “Guess what dudes who say stuff like this, including you, Tom Matlack? What you think is “no makeup” actually is makeup. When men say they like the natural look, what they’re really saying is “I’m glad you’re conventionally pretty enough to look like you don’t need to wear makeup even though you’re totally wearing makeup right now.””
    So the author throws in a misandrist generalization and assumes men do not know what is and isn’t a natural look. She does not have the right to tell you what you know and don’t know, you are married to your wife, you’ve most likely see her straight after a shower or during where the makeup is no where to be seen, I am sure you can easily spot when she wears 0.00% makeup.

    “The men I know are struggling. Struggling to figure out what’s important to them in the strange new world of a 21st century economy where women are better educated and increasingly more employable; in a world in which they increasingly want to be stay-at-home dads but are looked down upon for that desire; a world where any attempt to break out of the two-dimensional box of men as knuckle draggers who pursue Bud Light and the NFL above intimacy, emotion, and self-reflection gets blown to bits.”

    It’s up to men and women to all come together and decide as a society what is acceptable. Men have an equal n powerful voice in this, do NOT let internet bloggers n what not beat that out of you, do NOT let them get to you. There will be critics who will say all kinds of shit, misandrists, bigots, etc, but stay true to yourself and fuck what they think. I am paying far less attention to this snarky angsty articles tearing someone apart over a strawman. Let them rattle off n have their 1000 comments echoing the same bigotry because there are more than 1001 people in this world and there are plenty who will probably agree with you, and plenty who will disagree. I read their articles, I spot the bigotry, I comment here n there but largely I just ignore the bigots now or call it out without getting too indepth into the bullshit. So much anger seems to be online, it’s the cool thing to do, be angry, aggressive, especially with the Jezebel style crowd with the fuck you MRA style hatred (and some of those doing the same in reverse)….how the hell does real debate happen with so much hostility n anger?

  2. Tom M, ive just read youve left this place (i was so busy this past week, i didnt have time to read gender blogs.)
    quite a shock to hear. best wishes in what you decide to do next

    • Tom Brechlin says:

      Holy crap. Tom M, I hope you surface somwhere soon … would love to blow this pop stand. You’re one of the reasons I stayed here. God bless ya and best wishes.

      I’m gonna try the twitter thing …


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  2. [...] today, Matlack published another whiny post that basically equates to “Why me? WHY. (Me)” opining, yet again, feminist “attacks” on [...]

  3. [...] What’s a Guy to Do? on The Good Men Project – A response to the NYT piece above. I’ve thought for long enough now that the whole gender politics argument could easily be solved by respect. Simple as that. [...]

  4. [...] of Tom Matlack, the founder of the website The Good Men Project, which happened in the wake of this post he wrote in response to a New York Times article last week.  While the commentary about this has [...]

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