Trigger warning for brief mentions of rape. Mod Note: If you want to go argue about trans people and cissexism, argue on this thread.
I have recently been doing a lot of posts about femmephobia, i.e., the cultural fear, hatred and devaluation of femininity (i.e. weakness, vulnerability and various traits that attempt to appeal to the powerful, such as beauty and nurturance) in favor of masculinity (i.e. power). In the comments section I’ve noticed a couple of misconceptions which I would like to clear up.
Femmephobia Is Not The Only Gender-Based Oppression
I may have not made that as clear as it could have been in the original post, but I guess I thought that would be obvious. In addition to femmephobia, we have:
- Gender role enforcement, the idea that men should be masculine and women feminine, and if they aren’t they should be shamed into being it or they are weird.
- Misandry/misogyny, the idea that people of one gender are awful because they are of that gender.
- Homophobia, the idea that two people of the same gender having sex is totally gross.
- Cissexism, the idea that you are ”really” whatever gender the doctor said you were when you were born, and your hormonal profile, bodily appearance, social gender and strongly-held beliefs on the matter make no difference.
- Rape culture, the cluster of beliefs and attitudes that tend to make rape and sexual assault more common in Western culture than many other crimes are.
- Add your own in the comments!
Now, sometimes these intersect with each other in interesting and exciting ways. For instance, cissexism and gender role enforcement interact with each other when trans people have to display stereotypical traits of their own gender in order to be allowed to change their body as they see fit. This doesn’t mean that the “root cause” of cissexism is gender role enforcement, or the root cause of gender role enforcement is cissexism; it means they play into each other and end up creating an even suckier situation than either could do individually.
The same thing is true with femmephobia. Homophobes think all people of the same gender having sex with each other is gross (homophobia); however, they tend to talk about how gay men having sex with each other is gross way more often than they talk about how lesbians having sex with each other is gross, because the gay men are becoming like women, and that is super-gross (femmephobia). Rape apologists think that men can’t be raped (rape culture), and when they are raped by being penetrated it means that they’re girly because only girls are penetrated, and when are raped by being enveloped it means they’re girls because real men enjoy any sex they happen to have (femmephobia). Femmephobia is not the cause of all gender-based oppressions; it is just a factor that plays into some of them.
Femmephobia Is Not Misogyny In Disguise
Femmephobia is not some super-secret feminist way of saying “all men’s oppresion is sekritly about women anyway.” Hatred of the feminine is not hatred of women. There are many women who are not feminine; there are many men who are feminine.
In fact, femmephobia disadvantages men far more than it disadvantages women. If women are too feminine, they get hit with femmephobia (a very conventionally attractive woman is generally considered to be a bitch and a moron); if women are too masculine, they get hit with gender role enforcement (my mom tells me it’s gross I don’t shave my armpits). However, the huge realm of behavior between too feminine and too masculine is available for women to pursue– you can put on makeup and fashionable clothing every morning or have short hair and wear blue jeans, and no one will criticize you.
However, if a man is feminine at all, he will get hit with both femmephobia and gender role enforcement. Like musical theater? Want to take care of your appearance and pay attention to your outfit? Need medical attention for a physical or, God forbid, mental problem? Well, you’d better be very comfortable in your gender identity, because large parts of the culture will be convinced you are somehow less of a man because of it, and being less of a man is clearly the worst thing you could possibly be ever.
About ozyfrantz
If manhood is something you achieve while femininity is something you get automatically without doing anything, though, doesn’t that imply that to fail at manliness (or, worse, to choose not to pursue manliness) is to be feminine by default?
If you fail at manliness, you’re nothing, worth contempt, derision, possibly being left to die. If you’re feminine, and seen as female, well you’re not left to die for it, outside specific “we can only have one child and he must inherit and be male to inherit (or our family dies out)” deals.
Uh – you’re saying unmanly men being actually literally left to die is a common thing and not restricted to “specific” situations? This is not a rhetorical question, I’m actually confused by that.
(And you’re aware that female infanticide has been pretty common throughout world history, right? Still is. It’s not something that was just caused by China’s one-child policy.}
Oh, unless you mean stuff like it being easier to get help as a homeless woman than a homeless man? Sorry, the parallel with infanticide was confusing.
“And you’re aware that female infanticide has been pretty common throughout world history, right? Still is. It’s not something that was just caused by China’s one-child policy.”
It was almost totally caused by inheritance policies, and assimilation of the woman in the other’s family (it’s one or the other, there was a standard). Hence the family name would die out, if only legally-speaking. And people in their quest to not die and live through their lineage, have become materialistic and want to live through their family name, regardless that your lineage’s actions are their own (free will and all). It’s a pretty illogic state of affair.
If manhood is something you achieve while femininity is something you get automatically without doing anything, though, doesn’t that imply that to fail at manliness (or, worse, to choose not to pursue manliness) is to be feminine by default?
No because failure at manhood is not always presumed to be a matter of being feminine. Even among people who abide by the feminine/masculine binary there are plenty of ways to insult and otherwise cut down someone who has a male configured body without likening them to women. And that’s what people seem to get wrong. They like to think that the root of misandry is misogyny (therefore allowing them to act of is all gendered hatred is based on a fundamental hatred of women). I’m yeah it looks nice on paper/pc screen but its misguided at best and dismissive of the pain of men at worst.
I think what Skidd is saying is about Womanhood itself not just femininity. A man _must_ be manly in order to achieve and maintain Manhood; his status as a man can be revoked at any time when he fails to be masculine. But for women Womanhood doesn’t have to be earned through a requisite amount of femininity; her status as a woman is not in danger of being revoked regardless of how masculine or feminine she is (to some degree, I still maintain there is a degree of butchness where a woman can be degendered… although, that degree may be “is male” in which case it’s just plain transphobia). So, it’s not that femininty is something you get without trying but rather Womanhood (for cis women). Which may be why trans women have it so rough, since Womanhood is the default state of Cis Women and it Cannot Be Earned (it doesn’t even have to be), then they are shut out from womanhood by both women and men. Their femininity and womanhood being seen as inherently fraudulent.
Also, I think what Schala is saying is that while men may be degendered with feminine terms (being called a “girl” or similar) they do not actually take on the status of “woman” or they would be granted some of the same protections and be given the same expectations.
“If manhood is something you achieve while femininity is something you get automatically without doing anything, though, doesn’t that imply that to fail at manliness (or, worse, to choose not to pursue manliness) is to be feminine by default?”
I wouldn’t know for sure, but I would think some trans women would argue that. For them, being considered a woman by society is hard work. But comparatively, I wonder how much effort it takes for transitioning to male — I know there’s a lot of tips about simply the way you hold yourself and the language you use in that community.
It’s only feminine by default because of the social view of gender binary. If a man is not a man, then he’s got to be a woman. There are also situations, I believe, where “not a man” simply becomes an “it” or sub-human, or just that the person is a child.
When we talk of “feminine by default”, I also tend to think of the practice of “breeching”, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breeching_%28boys%29 — feminine was definitely the default for young boys in those times.
Heh. Hell, even biologically, female is default. It’s only androgens that make a body outwardly male. (see Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome)
And while not literally left to die; definitely socially stigmatized. And occasionally disowned.
Schala, it’s rather more complicated than that; there are a lot of different societies that practiced preferential female infanticide, for a lot of different reasons, not always connected to inheritance.
“Heh. Hell, even biologically, female is default. It’s only androgens that make a body outwardly male. (see Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome)”
Not exactly, it’s more complicated than that. Women who have Complete AIS rely on testosterone converting to estrogen to have feminine features. They respond little to not-at-all to the testosterone in its first incarnation, but some or a lot to it’s second.
And by the way, estrogen cannot convert back to testosterone, so conditions that induce masculine features usually revolve around having a lot more testosterone than is normal for their phenotype at birth (ie Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia).
“”I wouldn’t know for sure, but I would think some trans women would argue that. For them, being considered a woman by society is hard work. But comparatively, I wonder how much effort it takes for transitioning to male — I know there’s a lot of tips about simply the way you hold yourself and the language you use in that community.”"
I think that for trans men it is easier for them to be degendered than cis men (and that is already easy enough) but their efforts are not inherently laughable. Whereas for trans women, since womanhood is not earned, it is simply laughable that they are even trying and therefore their every “attempt” is held up as a “failure”. So, they are degendered as Not-Men but can never, ever, earn the status of Woman.
At least in the traditional model of things. Thankfully the times are changing.
@Patrick –
“For example there is not a single documented case of a homosexual woman who was killed for her sexual orientation in Nazi Germany. But thousands of gay men were hunted down, imprisoned and killed. The law that legitimized the prosecution didn’t even include homosexual women. I’m not sure how the situation is today in countries where homosexuality is still banned, but I suppose men are more affected from the prosecution.”
Not entirely true. You are correct that Paragraph 175 applied only to male homosexuality, the rationale behind it being passed was that men who were gay were not fathering children, and thus a burden to the German people. However, lesbians were also considered burdens/enemies for the inverse reason – that they were not having sex with men and bearing German children. They, however, were placed in the “asocial” black triangle-wearing category, which also included prostitutes and people who violated laws banning sex between Aryans and Jews.
“However, the huge realm of behavior between too feminine and too masculine is available for women to pursue– you can put on makeup and fashionable clothing every morning or have short hair and wear blue jeans, and no one will criticize you.”
I hate to break it to you, but there’s no magical aura of protection that keeps women safe from criticism and body policing. It may seem like society is a little more lax and it may be a little true here and there, but it’s not all gone. Men and women are both under the microscope.