Is Dating Multiple People at Once Ethical? Let’s Talk About It

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Dating world has evolved drastically over the years.

Nowadays, You meet people on the online dating app, meet for a coffee, or maybe even dinner—and just like that, you guys are already dating.

In just a few days, you guys seem so much into each other that you’re now often seen holding hands in coffee shops, restaurants, at the mall or even the park.

But here’s the thing: many people ain’t even dating just one person anymore!

They are juggling between multiple partners and dates, they say “they are exploring their opinions” or “figuring out what or who is the best fit”.

This raises a big question that’s up for discussion in this article: is it okay to date multiple people at once?

Is it ETHICAL?

Some call it “to prepare a soft landing” (in case of heartbreak) or “keeping your options open”, others call it “playing games”. To some this is Ethical and to others, it’s downright unethical. So how do we draw the line between the two?

Let’s discuss!

We’re in the Age of Choices

How dating worked in the past was:

Someone would meet another person through a friend or at a social event, they started to like each other and decided to hangout, went on a few dates, and decided if they liked each other, and started dating.

Today, because of the advent of dating apps, the game of dating has changed. Have you ever opened a dating app and seen hundreds of profiles of beautiful men and women? What about the confusion that comes with it?.

All this makes it to pick just one and you end up chatting with five people at once, and end up scheduling dates like business appointments or meetings.

Why is this happening? Because we all have more options than ever in one place, and you don’t have to go out before meeting them, they are right on your mobile phone or laptop.

These choices come from a certain type of mindset: Why settle for one person when you’re not even sure they’re “the one”? Why not explore and pick “the best” at the end of the day?

But is this approach fair at all?

Why Dating Multiple People Is Ethical

If you’re single, and thinking of dating multiple here are reasons you might need to consider it:

1.It Helps You To Know What You Want – Sometimes it’s hard to decide what you want or what you’re looking for until you experience or explore options.

You might not know the shoes that fit best without trying a few on. Different people we relate with are like this too. Until you mingle, you might not know who brings out the best in you.

2. Avoiding Premature Commitment – The advantage of engaging multiple people on dating might be because it helps avoid premature commitment, which can lead to mismatched expectations.

3. It’s Honest – If you inform everyone you’re dating honestly what your true intentions are from the onset, without mincing a word. Then it’s ethical as long as everyone knows what’s happening. There is no harms.

In theory, this sounds good right? But let’s check the other side too.

Why Dating Multiple People Is NOT Ethical

For some people, dating multiple people feels asocial. Here are few reasons:

1.You Might Hurt Someone’s Feelings – Having multiple dates is a game, at the end of the day, if you end up picking one person. You will definitely hurt the feelings of others, even if you’re truthful to them and explain your intentions to them from the beginning.

2. It Lacks Deep Emotional Connections – Being involved with multiple people in dating involves juggling between two or more people, this will definitely make it difficult for there to be genuine emotional connection between you and your partners.

3. Unhealthy Competition– Since two or more people are battling it out for who will eventually win the trophy (you), your partners might resort to unhealthy tactics or methods to win, which is dangerous for you and them.

4. Being Misunderstood – There’s a likelihood the people you’re involved with in dating will take the relationship more serious that you think, while you’re taking it casually.

Also, the society might look down on you, because they will think you’re a person of many partners.

When Does It Cross The Line?

Here’s where things get tricky: communication is everything.

If you’re honest and you tell all your partners clearly without mincing words—

“Hey, I really like you, but I’m you’re not the only one, I’m dating other people right now”

Some people will be able to decide if they’re okay with it or not. But if you hide the fact that you’re dating others, it’s betrayal. And that’s when it’s unethical.

A Final Thought

Dating can be exciting, interesting, confusing and messy. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing in a relationship, either you’re with a partner or multiple partners. The golden rule of relationship remains the same—Treat people the way you’d want to be treated.

What’s your opinion? Is dating multiple people or partners at once ethical or not?

Let’s keep the discussion going in the comments. Who knows, your perspective night change someone’s mind—or spark a whole new debate.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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