How to Be a Confident Speaker — Even When You’re Not

Picture this: You’re going on a boat trip, and you get on board with your family. You get your bags, and the captain comes out to greet you and says,

Hi… um, my name’s Alessia. Uh… oh, I’ll be your captain for this journey. So… uh… oh girl, let’s just have a great trip! Sorry — nope, get me off of this boat!

What we want at that moment is for the captain to walk out and say,

Hi, my name is Alessia. I’ll be your captain for this journey. Let’s have a great trip.

The point is that when you are the speaker, you are the captain for that journey, and how you show up really matters. It’s about nervous and confident.

1. Volume = Trust

Nervous speakers whisper. Confident ones speak at a “5” (on a 1–10 scale).
Try now: Read this sentence at a “3” volume. Now at a “5.” Hear the difference?

Pro tip: No shouting is needed. Just turn it up slightly like a radio dial.

2. Pause Like You Own the Room

Nervous people:

Talk fast → “So-um-this-graph-shows-uh…”
Fill silences with “like…um…”

Confident people:

Pause before important points → “This (pause) changes everything.”
Let silence work for them.

Your move: For the next meeting, pause for 2 seconds before answering. Watch jaws drop.

3. The Superhero Stance (Works Sitting Down)

Sit/stand tall (imagine a cape flowing behind you)
Lift your chin slightly
Smile like you’ve got a secret

Why it works: Your body tells your brain “We’ve got this.”

4. Practice Weirdly

Bad practice: Reading notes silently in bed.
Good practice: Saying it aloud while:
Walking your dog
Washing dishes
Pretending the showerhead is your audience

“But I feel silly!” Exactly. The awkwardness inoculates you.

5. The Silent Sentence (Game Changer)

Here’s my backstage mantra:
“I invite you to be here with me while I am here with you.”

Why it works:

Replaces “Don’t screw up!” with “Let’s connect.”
Turns panic into purpose.

Find yours: What do you really want for your audience? (Example: “I want one person to leave and take a CPR class.”)

Why This Works When You’re Shaking

I still get terrified before talks. Last week? Dry mouth, clammy hands — the works. But because I:

Spoke at a “5”
Paused as I meant it
Wore an invisible cape

The audience saw confidence. They never knew I wanted to vomit.

Your Homework

Today: Video yourself saying “Hi, I’m [Name]” twice — once nervous, once “confident captain.” Watch the difference.
This week: Use the superhero stance in 3 Zoom calls.
Forever: Replace “I hope I don’t fail” with your silent sentence.

Final Truth:

Fake it till you become it. Every great speaker was once a mess. The difference? They knew how to act as if.

Now go captain your next meeting/talk/presentation. I’ll be cheering from the cheap seats.

CTA: Tag Your Nervous Speaker Friend
👏 Clap if you’ve ever frozen mid-presentation (no shame!).
💬 Comment your biggest speaking fear — or which tip you’ll try first!
➕ Follow for Part 2: How to Command a Room Without Raising Your Voice.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.