Women think men are easy until they get married. And since they typically only want to hitch their wagons to high-value dudes, many of them are woefully unprepared for the challenges they suddenly encounter in this process.
I have said it before, and I will say it again, women have to offer something besides sex to secure commitment.
Now, many women listen to this and think, “Well, geez, I have a lot to offer. I’m well-traveled, educated, work as a manager, and I make 100k a year. I think I come with a lot to offer.”
I’m here to tell you that men don’t care about any of that shit.
Women seem to think they can dictate value while simultaneously dismissing the things that men actually do.
To secure commitment, a woman needs to be useful to the man in question. She cannot be creating unnecessary problems in his life.
High-value men want warm, supportive, feminine women. You are there to help him realize his mission. He is not there to help you realize yours.
Your mission will get realized in the process of realizing his; that’s the expectation of anyone who serves on another person’s ship.
And if that doesn’t work for you, that is perfectly all right. You might have to build your own ship and seek to attract a passenger of your own.
Just keep in mind that the men you might want to attract, those who already have their own ship, are never going to give that up to be a passenger on yours.
Are men actually buying into this nonsense?
Bullshittery seems to be the name of the game when it comes to dating advice for men.
Every day, some self-proclaimed sage dispenses assertions designed to reveal some hidden truth about women.
Debunk one claim, and three variations saying more of the same thing will magically pop up.
The worst offenders are credentialed creators — the very people you would expect to know better, such as the likes of Orion Taraban.
He is a licensed psychologist with a master’s degree and doctorate in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology; credentials that have propelled him to the de facto intellectual figurehead of the manosphere.
Everything before the three-dotted line break was all from him, a word-for-word excerpt from one of his newer videos.
I suppose it’s far more lucrative to pander to the manosphere, given he has close to a million followers on YouTube and 200k spread between TikTok and Instagram.
This obsession with submission is utterly baffling
Essentially, what Orion is selling here is the idea of female submission. Or to be more precise, the idea that women have to be submissive if they want to land a high-value man.
Everything else he rambles about, the sex, men not caring about women’s accomplishments, is just window dressing, meaningless fluff designed to make him appear authoritative to his gullible user base.
Women have to offer more than sex, he says?
In what universe does this mofo live in?
Of course, women can absolutely secure commitment through sex; it happens all the time. Powerful men commit and even marry purely based on physical appearance. How else would the sugar baby dynamic be so prevalent?
As for men not caring about accomplishment, my retort would be: speak for yourself.
The average man is more likely to end up with a woman who is in the same socioeconomic bracket. If that’s not caring about a woman’s accomplishment, I don’t know what is. It’s not like men earning $150k a year are routinely marrying women making $30k a year; that is not what the data shows.
And it’s not like men are not exposed to those kinds of women either; they meet them at work and interact with them on the daily, but they still choose to marry within the same class.
As for the high-value rhetoric, well, value in the dating context is always subjective.
There is no such thing as universal value — what counts as high-value depends on who’s judging.
You would think a learned man such as Orion would know that. But here we are.
He has to be a grifter
Orion is quite a fascinating character to me.
Given his background as a psychologist, he most certainly would have been trained to understand individual differences, nuance, and the limits of generalization. I find it hard to accept that he actually believes most of what he says about men and women.
Unlike a layperson, he has access to data and, more importantly, the wherewithal to interpret that data, leading me to believe all this is performative rhetoric rather than a deeply held belief grounded in evidence.
By using his PhD and clinical background, he can frame his biased opinions as objective biological facts and thereby provide “intellectual” ammunition for men who are angry and frustrated with women.
He takes raw, unpaatable manospsher concepts about women, sanitizing them in academic language, broadening their appeal.
Instead of helping men reflect on their own behavior, he gives them a manual that says, “Your negative views of women aren’t your fault; they are backed by intellectuals like himself and thus objective.”
Speaking on female submission…
Women have moved on from traditional roles
When are men going to learn that few, if any, women are interested in submission? At least in the manner that’scommonly defined, which would be relegating control to another in all facets of life.
People are just way too averse to being controlled in that way.
For Orion to say a woman’s mission should be a man’s mission shows a lack of understanding in human psychology, a massive blind spot for someone of his caliber.
He sounds like he is describing subjugation, if anything.
How he envisions such a relationship staying viable long term is beyond me. The woman in question still has her own needs and aspirations, after all. Remove those, and what is left? Nothing but an empty shell of a human being.
Furthermore, submission is contextual.
When two people are in a relationship, they each come with strengths and weaknesses. For example, the husband might be better with the kids while the wife is better with the finances. It would not make sense for the husband to get the final say in everything. Not unless he was knowledgeable about everything.
And yes, I know there are definitely some men reading this who will use the CEO analogy. In that, the man being the head should have all decisions deferred to him.
First of all, CEO’s are there to maximize productivity and profit. Second, they answer to shareholders and the market.
None of that translates to personal relationships.
The business vs relationship paradigm is almost always…
- Transactional vs relational.
- Performance vs acceptance.
- Power vs cooperation.
- Pragmatic vs emotional.
If you apply a business model to a romance, you would effectively become an abuser. Given that there is no way to reconcile the mutual care of a loving relationship with the cold, unilateral control of a business without incurring significant friction.
True submission starts with you, fellas
One thing you will never hear from the likes of Orion and the broader manosphere is that there is nothing about female submission that leads to healthy, mutually fulfilling relationships. In that, submission in and of itself does nothing in the way of fostering respect, communication, and trust.
All it does is satiate the male ego. And grants men the green light to live out their socially conditioned mandate of dominance.
If Orion really wanted to help men, the better approach would be to drop all the “submission” talk and teach men ways they can become better leaders of themselves — you know, focusing on accountability, emotional regulation, self-discipline, and so forth — qualities that, paradoxically, are more likely to influence women.
And what else is influence if not a mature, ethical alternative to submission?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo by Andrea Piacquadio.
