We Say “It’s for the Kids”… But Is It Really?

I went to a cultural program recently.I expected to feel proud. Inspired.Instead, I came home… thinking.

There were beautiful speeches — about children, about culture, about values.About how important it is for kids to stay connected to their roots.

Everything sounded right.But when the performances began, something quietly shifted.The stage didn’t feel like it belonged to children anymore.It became louder. Fuller. More… adult.

And I stood there asking myself — Are we really doing this for our children, or are we doing it for ourselves?

My daughter was the only child who performed that day.And that moment stayed with me.

Not because I was proud — but because I was confused.Where were the other children?

Were they not capable?Or were they simply never given the chance?Because those two things are very different.

As a mother and an Early Childhood Educator, I believe deeply in appreciating children. Even standing on a stage takes courage. That matters.

But I also believe in something else — Appreciation should have meaning.

Because when appreciation comes without effort,
it slowly loses its value.And sometimes, without realizing, we start doing exactly that.

We clap… even when they haven’t tried.We praise… even when they haven’t been challenged.We celebrate… even when they haven’t discovered what they are capable of.

And then one day, we wonder — Why don’t they try harder?Why don’t they push themselves?But maybe the answer is simple.We never gave them a reason to.

Children don’t need constant applause.They need opportunities.They need someone who looks at them and says — “I know you can do this. Try.”

Because confidence doesn’t come from being told “you’re amazing” again and again.It comes from trying… failing… trying again… and finally doing it.

That’s where real confidence lives.And that’s what we are slowly taking away when we replace effort with empty praise.

I am not against appreciation.I am against the kind of appreciation that quietly teaches children they don’t need to try.

Because that kind of praise doesn’t build them —
it limits them.That day, I kept asking myself — Is it me? Is it them? Or is it the system?Maybe it’s a little bit of everything.But one thing became very clear to me.We need to start listening to children again.Not just planning for them.Not just speaking for them. But actually seeing them.

Because when we stop listening,we start creating spaces that look like they are for children — but actually aren’t.And children deserve more than that.They deserve a stage that is truly theirs.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.