Emmy Award Winning Comedian, Harvard Class of 1985 Alumni Conan O’Brien delivered the Harvard Class of 2026 Commencement Address. Harvard University’s 375th Graduating Class. Conan said, “I’m fine with people knowing my Harvard degree is the last thing people know about me.”
Graduating from Harvard is profound accomplishment. I didn’t apply to Harvard, because back then I knew I wasn’t good enough. My cousin Karen went to Harvard. She was way smarter than me. She became a successful MD. Karen is amazing. She has an amazing life.
Graduating from Harvard like Conan and Karen is the singular achievement. Conan said that can also be a double edge sword. He learned that we really define the most important things about ourselves. He shared his life lessons since graduating from Harvard 41 years ago.
Conan said, “I always remind myself that I have done absolutely nothing alone. Walt Whitman wrote, ‘I contain multitudes.’… But whatever, I have achieved has been with an infinitely packed clown car of multitudes. Recognizing that my accomplishments are not just my own, has really given me much needed ballast throughout my life. And it really helped me spread the blame around when things go really south.”
Conan was purposefully, humorously transparent. I do not make the journey alone, become the man I am, without what the Beatles called “a little help from my friends”. Well, a lot of help from them.
I’ve trained for over 35 years in Aikido. I’m Godan (5th degree black belt). Aikido Founder O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” I apply the Aikido technique to myself, not to the attacker. I work on myself, not on others. I learned that I can’t make someone to anything. I can only change myself.
I put my head down. Put in the work. Practice over, and over, and over again. Still, I needed someone to guide me, someone who saw the strength inside me that I didn’t see. That was the late Mizukami Sensei. Sensei said, “Just train.” It’s not like I have to get somewhere or be someone else. I could be me. I could always be better, always be greater. Sensei said, “Practice makes the unnatural natural.”
Making Shodan (1st degree black belt) was one of my happiest days of my life.
I said, “Thank you, Sensei!”
Mizukami Sensei smiled and said, “You did it. I didn’t do anything.”
The late Mizukami Sensei was the Humblest Man that I knew.
I put in the work. I got up when I fell down, when I failed. When I struggled training for Shodan, Ishibashi Sensei said, “It’s your time to get yelled at.” I got it. Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei got me to look inside myself. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. Let go my fear inside that I can’t.
I’m who I am, because Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei guided me. They believed in me when I didn’t believe in me. I don’t make the journey alone. They are my multitudes. My accomplishments are theirs, too. I am, because of them. Conan said, “I’m not saying that the goal is not to renounce accomplishments, but rather to metabolize them.”
Like Conan, I learned to “Let yourself be bad at things.” He said, “I believe that I am preaching modesty and connection at a time when that is not in style. We are living in a period of extreme narcissism.” We live in the Social Media Arena, where you are the only Hero in your story. That’s not what Joseph Campbell meant. I learned, “It’s not all about me.”
Conan said, “I always recognize the role of luck in my life. Refusing to see the role luck plays in anyone’s life is simply ignorant.” Acknowledging luck is the lesson of humility and sincere gratitude.
Growing up, Dad scared the hell out of me as a little boy. Whatever, I did or didn’t do only made him so angry with me. I never knew which. I was not the son that Dad wanted. I was his greatest disappointment in life. I would never be good enough for Dad. I would never be good enough for anyone, especially me.
I was lucky that the late Mizukami Sensei taught me Aikido for over 25 years until he passed away. Sensei became the father, I needed to become a good man. Sensei taught, “Take a glancing blow. You’re not always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time.” That’s not only about the bigger stronger man trying to knock me out. I take a risk, take a hit for what’s meaningful to me. That’s the possibility of having a meaningful life. In many ways, Mizukami Sensei saved my life. My life is meaningful, because of him. I got lucky.
I didn’t get into my dream school, the University of California at Berkeley. No, not Harvard. Still, a great school. I wasn’t good enough. I got my master’s degree in electrical engineering at the University of Hawaii. I was lucky that Dr. Tom Gaarder was my thesis advisor. Dr. Gaarder taught me the art of thinking. Asking the right questions is more important than getting the right answers. He taught me that I could communicate difficult concepts in a story. I leveraged that throughout my 36-year Systems Engineering career. I got lucky.
Luck. Put in the work. Let myself be bad at things. Have people contribute on my journey. That all constitutes a wonderful and meaningful life. Like Conan O’Brien said, “I am still very much a work in progress.” He sincerely wished for the Class of 2026 that “Harvard becomes the least important thing they know about you.”
It really doesn’t matter where I started. What matters is the path I take, the path I choose. Many years ago, the late Mizukami Sensei said he didn’t care how hard I trained in the Dojo. It was far more important to him that I was a good person outside the Dojo, out in the world. That I was of service to others. That I made a difference for others. If I am a good person, a good man, that’s because I contain multitudes. Who I am is because of them.
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Photo by Brandon Hoogenboom on Unsplash
