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In The Good Men Project SIG #StopRacism, lead by Maleeha Malik, we talked about bi-racial families and the impact on bi-racial children especially at family gatherings during the holidays. Adults around the table are the models of behavior and the young soak up every word and nuance.
It is beyond me why anyone would ever want to hurt a child or the people who love him or her.
Our conversation proved there are. Personal stories confirmed that disapproval by relatives was thinly veiled and inappropriate. So what does one do when one’s life choices and/or loved ones are the target?
Talk To Your People is a good place to start to have those important conversations. Go to a neutral place out of the spotlight of the entire gathering. Ask questions: “Tell me why you feel that way? What happened?” Focus on their values: “I know family is important. We both want the same things.” Tell stories: “The other day, this happened when my family went to… How do you feel about that?”
There are more suggestions. We have to be kind, in spite of all the chaos around us. Anger, screaming, and yelling only serves to cause entrenchment and nothing moves forward.
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We want to hear your point of view: Have you or your children experienced being on the receiving end of harsh words during a family gathering? How did you handle it?
In the case of known differences of opinion, how do you or how does your family handle it? It could be no discussion at all or offer a “debate” table in one room and “no debate” table in the other.
And then, when it’s all over, if it’s necessary, what kind of conversations do you have with your children or partner?
When you’re ready to submit, click the red box, below.
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Photo credit: Getty Images